About the Versions of Oh. My. Fate?!

On May 19, 2018, I started writing my first web novel series, Oh. My. Fate?!. As it often is with new things there is a bit of trial and error involved and now that I’ve almost reached the end of the fourth volume of the series I sometimes look back and think „Damn, I could have done better!“.
As a consequence, as of December 7, 2018, I’ve started to work on a revised version of Oh. My. Fate?! that I hope will be a lot better. This version is running on my Tapas site with one chapter a day so that I don’t have to slow down the regular releases. I’ve decided to only upload the revised version on Tapas for now so that it’s clear to everyone which version is which and not confuse readers who start the series later on.

Today, I want to take a closer look at the differences between the first version and the revised version so that ‚old‘ readers will be able to judge whether they would miss out on anything if they continue to read the first version and so that new readers can decide more easily which version to read.

The good news first: There will be no major changes to the plot so regardless of which version you read you will, in general, read the same story and not lack any vital information.

 

Differences in regard to language

The first version of OMF, unfortunately, has a lot of mistakes language-wise, especially in the first volume. There are mistaken words and confusing sentences and I have to especially apologize for my inflationary use of punctuation. Honestly, even I myself can’t bear to look at all those commas.
The revised version has a lot less of these mistakes (and much, much, much less comma!). Although I can’t promise that there won’t be no mistakes at all it’s definitely a lot more readable. Especially in the first volume, I have rewritten (and will continue to do so) several parts too so that the sentences are more easily understandable.

 

Differences in regard to details

Besides the mistakes in the language department, there are some things that are, well, sometimes wrong or not too logical and sometimes just written so vague that they’re not really tangible.

For example, there’s Jing Yi’s age. In the first volume, there are several time skips where he grows from an infant to a three-year-old and then to a child of about nine years. In the second volume, there are other time skips again, one where he ages about five years and then the other one at the end of the volume where a year is spent traveling with Qiu Ling. All this is so vaguely written that most of the time it’s rather unclear how old he is exactly. This isn’t that important in the beginning but becomes more so in the later stages when he is already with Qiu Ling and also tries to find his place in the Yun Zou Sect.
So, in the revised version these details will be made a lot clearer. There might also be some small changes to the length of the time skips and thus Jing Yi’s overall age.

An even more prominent example of the problem of my vague writing is found in the third volume: When Jing Yi meets Niu Hai and is shown to the alchemy division I glossed over it pretty fast making it sound as if Jing Yi (who is illiterate at that time) was reading the plaques above the doors of the buildings when, in fact, he was just looking at them and it was Niu Hai reading them to him as is stated in a later chapter.

 

Differences in regard to content

While the revision certainly makes OMF more easily readable and hopefully clearer in regard to the details the biggest difference still lies in the content itself. I already said that there won’t be any major changes to events in the series but there definitely will be a difference in the depth provided. Overall, there’ll be several new chapters in the revised version. For this, I’d like to give some examples to give you a better impression of what to expect:

  1. The start of the novel
    The first version started off with Shun Tao reporting to the Heavenly Emperor and then jumped to Jing He leaving and Qiu Ling following him. We didn’t really get to see anything of Jing He and the thing about the trial was rather intangible.
    The revised version starts off a week before that with a meeting between Jing He and Qiu Ling in which Jing He informs Qiu Ling of his impending trial. There is another chapter in which Shun Tao consults Jing He on the matter of the trial. The chapter where Shun Tao reports to the Heavenly Emperor a week later is slightly longer now and includes a conversation between the Heavenly Emperor and his wife Bai Fen. The following chapter where Jing He leaves for the mortal world is also expanded and has some actual interaction between the two of them.
  2. The time in the capital and future mentions of Shao Hai and Xiao Dong
    In the first version, Jing Yi’s time in the capital is mostly glossed over. We get to see him arrive and have a look around which leads to meeting Shao Hai and, later on, Xiao Dong. Unfortunately, the friendship between those three wasn’t really explored because, well, the volume seemed to get too long so I left the part out that seemed least important. Unfortunately, this came to bite me back later because those two should have had a major role in volume 2 and future volumes that didn’t work as well as I would have liked.
    Thus, in the revised version there will be more on Jing Yi’s time in the capital especially in regards to the other two boys. At the same time, I’ll also expand on their role in the second volume as I had originally intended to do.
  3. The journey of Qiu Ling and Jing Yi
    After the time in the Yun Zou Sect, Jing Yi and Qiu Ling went on a journey that was only referenced afterward and never explored in detail. This is a problem because this is the first time when Jing Yi and Qiu Ling actually spend time together as something like a couple and it is also a part where Jing Yi finally gets to grow up a bit. Honestly, I’m not even sure myself why I came up with the idea of leaving exactly that part out …
    In the revised version all of this will naturally be changed. I might not write about the whole journey but at least parts of it will find their way into the novel. Maybe this will even turn into a whole new volume but I’ll see how it goes when I arrive at that point.

These are just three examples of the changes I’ve made or want to make respectively. There will be many more and I hope that all of them will make this a better series that you can enjoy reading more. 😊

RMN C1 A Visitor in a Stormy Night

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The sky was overhung with dark clouds and rain drizzled unceasingly onto the roofs of Xiao Xi town, gathering in puddles on the street. In the distance, thunder rumbled and every now and then lightning illuminated the outline of the trees.
The hunched down figure of an old man hurried along between them and hastened toward the gates of the town that had already been shut for the night. The man stopped in front of them, grabbed the hem of his cloak’s hood and looked up while blinking against the rain. Who knows what he did but a moment later the tightly shut doors swung open as if moved by invisible hands.
The man hunched back down and hurried into the town, the gates silently shutting behind him again. He walked down the main street, his gaze flitting over the houses at the side while his brows drew closer and closer together. It seemed as if he was searching for something but couldn’t find it. Weiterlesen

LWS V3C1 Beautiful Misunderstandings

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Nie Chang looked into the living room first but not even a glimpse could be seen of Su Yan. His heart thumped loudly and the nervous feeling he had since getting that message on WeChat became even stronger. Could it be that his boyfriend really wanted to leave him? But they hadn’t even been together for two days!
He hurried into the kitchen in the hope of seeing a disgruntled Su Yan eating breakfast on his own. Maybe he had finished what he was doing on his notebook and then gone to see where he had vanished to. With Su Yan’s temperament, he certainly would be angry when it seemed that his boyfriend had disappeared on him! Sending a furious message because of that wasn’t unexpected. He would probably forgive him though when he came back with the ingredients and explained. Weiterlesen

LWS V2C56 Way Too Troublesome

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Zhi Bao Yu was immensely baffled. This former co-worker of hers had finally gotten into a relationship after all these years but he didn’t jump his boyfriend immediately and instead decided with him to wait another two weeks?
Could it be … this was some kind of hidden camera TV show?
She lowered the phone and warily looked around. She couldn’t spot anyone or anything suspicious though. Well, she was already at home. The only one who could have tried to play a prank on her here was her boyfriend and he was still at work. And she felt like she was observant enough to notice had anything changed in their apartment.
No, this probably wasn’t a TV show. So that only left one possibility: Su Yan was being serious. She took some time to digest this information, an awkward silence engulfing their phone call. Weiterlesen

LWS V2C48 The Child Still Needs a Name

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„All set.“ Nie Chang pushed the notebook back to Su Yan and slid to the side.
„Thank you!“ Su Yan really wanted to give him a kiss as a reward but he didn’t dare to after what had happened just now so he settled for a bright smile.
Nie Chang tussled his hair in response and watched as Su Yan pulled the notebook closer.
Naturally, Su Yan didn’t want to wait any longer. He clicked on the button to create a new novel and wriggled his fingers. Ah, he would really do it now! His first new story after all these months and even one in a different genre. He really was excited to see what the readers would think. Would there be some people among them who had read his fanfictions, too?
He wanted to fill out the form to set up his novel but instantly paused.
Shit! Weiterlesen

LWS V2C47 Solving Another Problem

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Su Yan hesitated for a while whether or not he should put some novels into his reading list. Wouldn’t it look strange for someone not to have even a single book they read but post a story? Come to think of it, it would probably look strange anyway if he just registered his account and then posted the same day, wouldn’t it?
He pursed his lips and contemplated, the cursor hovering over the button to create a story. It wasn’t a problem to put some books he had read on his other account into his new reading list but … how long should he wait until he uploaded the story? This was a task the system had given him, after all! Oh, well, there was also the problem that he hadn’t read any bl besides that one novel. He couldn’t only put xianxia in there, could he? Weiterlesen

LWS V2C36 Like a Rich CEO?

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Su Yan and Nie Chang arrived at the boutique Zhi Bao Yu had recommended. It didn’t look much different from the second shop. The boutique was at an intersection with broad shop-windows on both sides that showcased a few of the designs already. Most of it was decorations though.
Su Yan perked up. This really looked good! Asking an experienced woman for this kind of thing had still been the right choice!
Su Yan hurriedly pulled Nie Chang into the shop. He didn’t even wait for him to open the door even though it was obvious that Nie Chang had intended to do so. Being faced with such enthusiasm Nie Chang only smiled wryly. He really was curious what Su Yan had planned. Weiterlesen

LWS V2C35 Bad Boyfriend! Punish Him!

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When Su Yan came out of the cubicle and went over to the counter his expression said that he knew exactly what was going on and that he absolutely wasn’t happy about it. Nie Chang just looked at him and smiled though. Actually, he hadn’t thought any deeper about what he had said. He was Su Yan’s boyfriend now so it felt natural to him to cover his expenses. In fact, if he hadn’t been afraid that he’d be asking too much he’d have invited Su Yan to move in with him already. Weiterlesen

LWS V2C34 You Took My Breath Away

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Su Yan slapped those hands away and frowned. „What do you think you’re doing?!“ Naturally, he wasn’t angry because of the kiss. But how could Nie Chang just pinch his cheeks like this in public?! Wouldn’t everyone think of him as an idiot?
Nie Chang just smiled and even took it up a notch and ruffled his hair. Su Yan was even cuter when he looked this disgruntled. It had the charm of a baby hedgehog that tried to scare one away with its spines but only managed to draw people closer. Ah, even if it hurt, he’d still want to hug him! Weiterlesen

LWS V2C28 Implementing the First Suggestion

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Just to make sure that nothing went wrong Su Yan actually made another copy before looking at the places with flashbacks more closely. Soon enough, he noticed that he had quite the big problem: The whole story was more or less a flashback!
Su Yan rubbed his head, making his hair stick out in all directions. „Shit!“ He had originally started with a short scene of the time when Yun Bei Fen was raging because of Mei Chao Bing’s kiss and only then told how it had come to this. „I definitely can’t leave it like this.“
He pursed his lips and copied the old first scene. This shouldn’t be too difficult. He just had to paste it before the last scene between the kiss and Yun Bei Fen’s final approval. With that, the story would progress linearly again. Weiterlesen