LWS V3C52 An Even Better Story!

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After eating Su Yan immediately went back to work. After all, he still had some hours until the dinner with his parents so he should make good use of the time. Looking at the suggestions of the Lovely Writing System again he couldn’t help but purse his lips.
He could live with the second and third suggestion but the first one really made him feel dumb. He had actually used the character ‘Fu’ five times without noticing! And disregarding Dou Jin Fu and maybe Yue Fu Gang these names were all important!
Jin Bao Fu was the story’s antagonist so he would appear on a regular basis and have lots of interactions with the protagonist and the male lead. Xue Chang Fu was the sect master of the Jin Shan Sect so he would also be present a lot. At the very least he would be there for all the important events in the sect like challenges or gatherings with other sects or things like that. His name would likewise show up often. Even Yue Fu Gang might be there often considering that he was an important Elder of the sect and had a close relationship with the sect master.
The Fu Yun peak was just the same as the characters. This was the peak that Ziju An oversaw and where he and the protagonist would spend most of their time. It would be strange if the name didn’t appear every so often!
No, he had to make changes! The only problem was … The first chapter was already published and both Xue Chang Fu’s name, as well as the Fu Yun peak, had already been mentioned. He couldn’t change either of them.
Su Yan sighed. Luckily, he hadn’t mentioned Jin Bao Fu’s name too and only wrote that the person who was supposed to come was the youngest prince of the kingdom. At last the antagonist’s name could still be changed.
“Mn …” Su Yan stared at the names.
There were five of them and two couldn’t be changed anymore. So he should probably change the other three? So how about … Dou Jin Lei for Dou Fang Hai’s uncle? Mn, that didn’t sound too bad.
He opened the document where he had written the first chapters and went through them again to change the name. Looking at the new name he felt quite good. Ah, changing a name wasn’t so bad. If it helped to make his story better he would change all the names that hadn’t been mentioned in the first chapter.
“Ah, luckily, I had the revised version checked before uploading more than that! Otherwise, it really would have been difficult to get out of this …”
He shook his head and looked at the next name. Yue Fu Gang. Mn … This person was a tough man. How about using ‘Mu’ instead of ‘Fu’? Mn, a strong tree it was then. That should work too. He nodded to himself and changed the next name.
Now, only Jin Bao Fu was left. Regarding this name, he felt it to be a real pity. After using it so many times in the last few chapters he had already gotten quite used to it. Well, but he definitely had to give the antagonist a name the readers wouldn’t get mixed up. Just imagine them mistaking the sect master for the antagonist or the other way around! No, he couldn’t let that happen!
Mn, then how about … Su Yan frowned and tried to think of a good name but he couldn’t come up with anything. Ugh. He really liked this name! It sounded so nice. Eh? Wait. Who said he couldn’t keep it like that? He just had to use another character with the same pronunciation and all should be fine.
Su Yan grinned and hurriedly changed the character he had used until now. There! Wasn’t that good now? The system shouldn’t have anything more to say about his characters’ names, should it?
He took a look at the other two suggestions again and frowned. Conveying information through actions and … showing off his language skills? What did the system want to say with that? Especially the second one. It couldn’t be that the system meant that his skills weren’t good enough, could it?
Nah, that was impossible! He had gotten such a good rating this time. There should be nothing wrong with the way he wrote those chapters. Su Yan pressed his lips together and looked at the rating again. Actually … his lowest scores were the ones for his writing style and the incorporation of information. Exactly the two things the system had made the suggestions for! This probably wasn’t a coincidence?
Su Yan frowned. It wasn’t like there had never been readers of his old stories who said that he couldn’t write and should better go do something else in his leisure time but he had always thought those were just some idiots who had no idea what they were talking about. Then how come the system suddenly said the same thing?! This wasn’t reasonable at all!
He turned to look at Nie Chang but didn’t know what to say. Nie Chang might have said that he had read everything he wrote so far but he was his boyfriend. If he asked him if he actually could write, then he would gain nothing. Nie Chang was just too biased!
Su Yan glared at him before turning back to his notebook with a snort. Tch, as if he needed to ask his boyfriend for something like this! He was able to figure this out all on his own!
Mn … Su Yan stared at the rating for a while but finally sighed. There was no use. He had no idea what exactly the system’s problem was this time. It hadn’t even provided any clues for him! Wasn’t this straight-up bullying him?!
Su Yan propped his head up on his hands and pursed his lips. His writing style … How to make it better? Maybe he should just …
Su Yan straightened up. Right! Why hadn’t he thought of this sooner?! Didn’t he have those practice tasks?! There should be some task to practice his style too! And if he used that, then the system needed to provide him with detailed feedback. Ah, he was just too brilliant! He needed to try it out at once to make his second story even better!

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