OMF V10C205 Awkward

Qiu Ling leaned over, his lips occupying Jing He’s in an overbearing manner. He quietly told himself that he would only kiss him, that he wouldn’t take it further than this but this kiss … he really couldn’t say no to it.

Jing He made a faint sound and then hurriedly moved his free hand upward. It wandered over Qiu Ling’s chest onto his shoulder and then simply clung to it, not intending to let go.

The soft touch only served to excite Qiu Ling. He tightly held onto his beloved, the hand that had been holding onto Jing He’s finally letting go and circling his waist instead. His fingers brushed the fabric of the blanket, feeling the embroidery decorating the top. His brows furrowed, unhappiness welling up inside his heart.

With a tug, he pulled down the blanket, exposing Jing He’s body below. Qiu Ling’s hand returned upward, this time finding the fabric of his beloved’s inner robe instead. His first impression was that it was thin, thin enough that he seemed to feel the texture of his skin beneath. The temperature sure transmitted through it, reminding him that Jing He had seemed slightly cold before.

Qiu Ling gave a faint sound, his hands stroking his body to warm him up, whether that was through his own temperature being shared with him or by igniting a fire in his body that would drive out the cold on its own.

Jing He’s eyes fell shut and he hurriedly reached up, his other hand finding its way into Qiu Ling’s hair. He clung to him with desperation, all thoughts having scattered. He only knew he had to hold onto him and wait for the storm to pass to reach his goal. And it truly felt like a storm.

Jing He faintly remembered how overwhelmed he had felt when he met Qiu Ling for the first time. Even though his behavior had seemed outlandish, there had been an undeniable authority shrouding his person, reminding everyone of his status as the dragon king. At that time, he hardly dared to look at him, feeling slightly scared as Qiu Ling drew near.

Right now, that feeling from back then seemed to return. There was a hint of fear of the unknown that lay before him but mostly, he didn’t even know what to feel. He was utterly lost while completely enveloped, like a man drowning out in the middle of the sea in the midst of a storm who could perceive nothing but the power of the elements, unable to extricate himself. His whole body seemed to be filled with Qiu Ling’s scent, the sound of his breath, the feeling of his hands all over him. He couldn’t think clearly and only let him go ahead, completely handing himself to this man.

Qiu Ling’s hands trembled when Jing He reacted like this and a trace of reason returned to his mind. Being relied on like this, it reminded him that he was responsible for this person. Whether it was as his lover or as his future husband, he should think for Jing He’s sake. In that case, what was happening right now surely couldn’t be allowed to go on.

He huffed, trying to restrain himself and pull back but Jing He’s fingers curled around the fabric of his robe tightly, not seeming like they wanted to let go. Qiu Ling closed his eyes, battling with himself. He wanted this. He wanted it more than anything else in his life. But Jing He’s happiness came above his own so knowing that this wasn’t right for his beloved, he naturally couldn’t continue.

He hugged him tightly, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm down. It really didn’t seem to help, only making him aware of Jing He’s presence more. If he really wanted to stop, he should probably pull back, let go of him and retreat to somewhere else first. But just imagining doing that … it seemed too hard to do.

He didn’t want to let go. He always wanted to be close to Jing He, much more so at such a moment. And then there was also the fear of how Jing He would react. To pull back now … that seemed akin to rejecting him completely. How could that be done?

Jing He realized that something was wrong when the kiss stopped and those hands stopped roving about his body. He faintly cracked his eyes open but it was dark around them, making him unable to see Qiu Ling’s expression even from this up close.

His lips opened. He wanted to ask why he had stopped, why he wasn’t continuing what he had been doing just now. In the end though, the words got stuck in his throat, fear enveloping his heart. To ask such a question, wasn’t that exposing his desire?

In fact, maybe Qiu Ling had caught onto his deliberate attempt and suddenly lost interest. After all, even though he might love him, that was also on the basis of the person he thought him to be. If he discovered that he was any different … could those feelings not cool?

Jing He suddenly felt anxious but didn’t know what to do. His fingers curled even more tightly around the fabric of Qiu Ling’s robe but he didn’t dare to either say anything or do more than that.

The atmosphere turned awkward, cooling rapidly.

Qiu Ling cursed under his breath, thinking that Jing He must indeed feel rejected. He finally kissed his cheek, his lips lingering on his skin for just a moment. “I’m sorry. I …” He wasn’t sure how to explain. Where to start and what to say? None of it seemed to truly explain his thoughts and feelings. In the end, he could only sigh and lie down next to Jing He, once again gathering him into his arms while pulling up the blanket. “I want you. Just … not like this.” Although, in fact, this was less for him and more so for Jing He but then, he had already said that before and almost failed to keep to his word. It truly was … awkward.

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