OMF V9C46 Could They Make It?

He slid back on the bed as well, leaning against the wall next to him. “Did you ever regret it? Rushing to ascend I mean? That you cultivated more and more to be able to make it instead of using the time you could have had in the mortal realm? Did you ever think that it might have been better if you didn’t?”

Jing Yi turned to look at him, keeping quiet for a while. Had he? The answer to that was pretty easy to give. “Of course. You know, in the beginning, I always thought that ascending would be what could secure our life together. But then, it turned out that that wasn’t the case. Instead, ascending just pushed us further apart.

“It put my life in jeopardy and our relationship suffered from it. But then, the same might have happened in the mortal realm. Even if we spent more time there, the circumstances of my identity would never change, would they? So even if I stayed there, what could have been different?”

“I don’t know. You could have had friends in the mortal realm. People who aren’t tied to Jing He in any way. Like that … Shao Hai?”

Jing Yi gave a hum at that. “Actually, I thought of him just today when I saw Xiao Dong. Maybe it would have been nice to stay there. I wonder what he’s doing right now.”

“We could always go and take a look. Or if you don’t want to go yourself, I could send somebody to take a look for you.”

Jing Yi shook his head. “I’d like to know but that would be awkward. I mean so much time has passed. The weeks we spent in the Nine Heavens have been years in the mortal realm, then the one thousand years that we were in the dimension before that and even earlier when we were traveling around and doing things outside of the Yun Zou Sect … I never really saw him. We haven’t really talked since … we were almost children. I’m not even sure if I can call us friends anymore.”

Qiu Ling nodded, feeling that what Jing Yi said was also reasonable. “Well, you could still make new friends. It’s not impossible.”

“At my age? I don’t know, I feel like that’s a bit late. I guess you make the best friends when you’re young.”

This time, Qiu Ling gave a hum, not sure what to say to that. When it came to him, he had never really had friends. As a child, there been some years in the palace where there had been some children but he hadn’t been close to any of them since there had been so much else going on. And then his parents had left with him to a place where there was nobody around. And even after that, he had been too traumatized to ever let anybody get close.

It was only now that he was slowly opening up to people. So he really was the last person who should give any advice on making friends. Because he himself had no idea how to do it.

Jing Yi looked at him when he kept quiet and raised his brows. “What’s the matter?”

Qiu Ling didn’t know how to explain himself. This … well, it wasn’t like Jing Yi didn’t know about his past. Admitting to this shouldn’t be a problem at all. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to talk about this now though.

It wouldn’t get them anywhere, would it? No, this actually didn’t have anything to do with their current problem and he didn’t think that his problems of the past were something that he should bring into everything after things were already this complicated between them.

In the end, he just shook his head. “I just feel like there isn’t really anything I can do to help you.”

“I don’t think you need to. You know, we might be lovers but you aren’t responsible for me.”

“That’s a harsh thing to say to somebody who’s going to be your husband soon. I should be responsible for you.”

Jing Yi smiled when he actually heard Qiu Ling call himself his future husband. It made him feel that, for once, things were headed in the right direction. Yes, he had needed to kind of force him to do this but, in the end, hadn’t Qiu Ling willingly agreed? It seemed like it wasn’t such a bad thing to him. Or maybe he just wanted him to believe that because of Jing He?

Jing Yi furrowed his brows and then reached over, taking Qiu Ling’s hand. “Be honest with me: Marrying me, if not for wanting that promise, could you imagine doing it?”

Qiu Ling looked at their hands and squeezed gently, feeling that this was something he should have talked about before. “Originally, that was what I promised you. Thinking back now, it was probably wrong to break that promise in the first place.

“I should’ve married you back in the mortal realm. We should have married when your mother was still alive so she could have seen. Or we should’ve married at the Yun Zou Sect like Jinde and Leng Jin Yu did so that you could have some people you know there. I mean there wasn’t just Shao Hai, was there? Those other senior martial brothers that you were a little closer with, they probably would’ve come as well. I guess you would’ve liked that more than whatever we’ll be able to do here.”

Jing Yi also looked at their interlaced fingers and shook his head. “At the end of the day, what is important to me is that we are getting married. You know, what hurt about you breaking that promise wasn’t that I wouldn’t be able to get the perfect wedding. What hurt was that you didn’t want to marry me at all.

“Even if it had been some kind of secret ceremony that nobody knew about, I still would’ve been alright with it. I just wanted you. I wanted you to say that you would be with me for however long either of us lived. I wanted you to choose me. But you never did.”

Qiu Ling nodded. “I never did, yes. I can’t deny that. But this time, it is different.”

Jing Yi smiled and then pulled his hand back. “Let’s hope that it is. Otherwise, you won’t get that promise from me. Now, we talked for so long, it’s going to become depressing if we continue in this direction. Let’s just go to sleep after all. Tomorrow is a new day. We can … well, maybe not start over but we can start to try to do better. I think that is still an option.”

Qiu Ling nodded and slid to the side, pulling Jing Yi into his arms when they both lied down. Looking at him, he felt that, yes, not everything was perfect, but there was still a small chance that all of this could work out.

If they were honest about their feelings from now on, if they actually talked about what was going wrong, then maybe they could still make it. It wasn’t likely but it was still possible. That was more than they probably deserved after everything so far.

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