Mo Fang couldn’t help but feel that his boyfriend was actually quite cute. He leaned closer and pecked his lips before he pulled back again. “You know, you don’t need to worry.”
Li Ming reached out and rubbed his thighs, his gaze softening. “I guess it is easy for you to say that. For me, in the beginning, it was even worse. I know that you have more experience than me in that regard.
“I don’t have a problem with that, you know? I don’t mind that you have a past. You’ve tried out things, you’ve found out what you like and what you don’t.
“I think that’s a good thing and I’m not having any reservations because of that. You know that, right?” Even now, he still felt the need to reassure him. He didn’t know if it would help at all but he was just hoping that it would. After all, with how Mo Fang was usually being treated by everyone around him, he felt that he needed him to be this direct.
Mo Fang smiled, quite happy to hear that. To be honest, this was a worry that he had had at the beginning. Come to think of it, since this was confession time, he should probably bring it up. “It’s good that you say that. Although by now, I really know that already.
“At first, when I had fallen in love with you, I thought that you might be unhappy if you knew. So I didn’t really dare to talk about these things as much. But over these weeks, I’ve come to realize that you’re not that shallow. You definitely wouldn’t mind who I slept with before you. But since you don’t mind that, why are you still so hesitant? There has to be some kind of reason.”
Li Ming gave a hum, wondering how to explain himself. “Well, I think there are several reasons for that. At first, I didn’t really want to because I need time to get comfortable.
“I mean, we talked about that when we just got together so I’m not telling you anything new there. You know that I just need some more time to get used to things before I’m ready for being physically affectionate.
“Well, after that, when I felt like I was slowly getting there, I couldn’t help but worry about … well, our difference in experience. I just felt like when we did it, I might disappoint you and the expectations you had for our first time.
“I mean I’ve had a few partners and it’s not like I don’t know how it’s done. But a lot of that was also getting to know each other, and finding a way to do things that we both like. If it was with you, I feel like I would have to go back to do things in a different way. Because you probably already know exactly what you like. I’m not sure if I would be able to give that to you. And I was quite worried about that.”
Mo Fang pulled him closer, giving him a hug. “Well, you wouldn’t have needed to worry about that. In any case, I’m really flexible. I don’t mind trying this or that. In any case, I feel like, with different men, different things work better or worse. So I don’t mind either way. We can try a lot if you want that. I absolutely don’t have a problem with that.”
Li Ming reached up and hugged him back, feeling that he should have talked with him from the very beginning. That would have been much easier than worrying about things by himself.
Mo Fang gave him a few moments to just hold him like this before he leaned back and cupped his cheek. “I hope you’re not worried about that anymore.”
Li Ming shook his head. “No, I guess just like how you got over your worry that I wouldn’t be able to accept your past, I also got over my worry that I wouldn’t be good enough for you.
“Unfortunately, even after that … I couldn’t help but worry. Not because I still thought that I wouldn’t be good enough regarding my … performance but because I wanted our first time together to be special for you. And I couldn’t help but feel that considering that you’ve already had quite a few of those first experiences, it might be difficult to really make it memorable for you. I couldn’t help but get a bit hung up on that.”
Mo Fang smiled, feeling that Li Ming was really too silly. “You know, you don’t need to make it special for me. What makes it special is that it happens with you. I don’t need anything else.”
Li ming smiled at that and gave him a kiss, the last bits of his worries just melting away. “I’m happy that you see it this way. I was really worried. Probably needlessly but I just couldn’t help myself. But I guess if that’s how you see it, then I won’t waste any more time on that.”
Mo Fang gave him a careful look, not quite sure how to proceed. This was basically Li Ming admitting that he was ready to do it. Could he just outright tell him to go to the bedroom then? It seemed a bit too much considering how things had been going before. But still, he didn’t want to wait any longer.
After a moment, he lowered his gaze and then cupped Li Ming’s other cheek as well, giving him a lingering kiss. In any case, who said that he needed to use any words? He might as well just let his actions speak. After this conversation, Li Ming would definitely be able to pick up on that. He was sure of that.