Qiu Ling nodded and then leaned down, hugging him. He was quite happy to hear that Jing Yi hadn’t felt bad about the things that he had just come to regret. In any case, he hadn’t wanted to make him feel like he missed out on something.
He still felt like his lover was taking things a bit too easy but he wouldn’t argue with him about that. He had feelings on this matter and Jing Yi had his own. Taking his partner’s opinion into consideration … he also wasn’t good at that. He should really do as Jing Yi had said and try to do better in the future. Not just with Jing Yi but also with Jing He when he returned. Then, things would be easier.
He gave himself another moment and then pulled back, showing Jing Yi a faint smile. “Well, so much for that. Now, let me accompany you the rest of the way. I’ll wait outside the courtyard until you’re gone and then return.”
Jing Yi nodded and the two of them made their way over to the courtyard of the idle gods after all.
Reaching the gate, Jing Yi was actually feeling reluctant. Even though staying here and learning the things hadn’t been able to learn before was something that he wanted, he was also used to staying with Qiu Ling. Suddenly not spending the night with him was strange.
Qiu Ling lowered his head and grabbed his hands, giving him a faint smile. “I’m not far away. If you ever need me, I will be there.”
Jing Yi sighed. This was also true. He was probably thinking too much. “Well, it’s not like it’s forever. Just me give me a bit of time to get used to things here and then we’ll find a way to spend more time together again.”
Qiu Ling nodded but he didn’t insist. While he would’ve liked to stay, he was realizing that he needed to let go. As hard as it was, he just had to. Otherwise, they might just end up like the previous generation. That wasn’t something that he wanted.
Actually, he should have realized all these things so much sooner. He had seen how his parents’ marriage turned out after all. Even if there hadn’t been Jinde, even if his mother hadn’t been a demon, they still would’ve been doomed to fail.
He didn’t want to be like that. He wanted a happy marriage, a happy family, just like Jinde and Leng Jin Yu were able to have them now. And he felt like part of why they were able to achieve that was that they had learned from the mistakes of the past. He should take a leaf out of their book in that regard.
He sighed and then leaned forward, kissing Jing Yi’s cheek. “Is it alright if I come over tomorrow?”
Jing Yi nodded and then reached up, giving him a quick hug before he stepped away. “Yes, I don’t mind. In any case, I will also be happy to see you. Just … try to make it a little less obvious, alright?”
Qiu Ling faintly raised his brows and then nodded with some hesitation. Not making it as obvious … that might prove to be difficult. In any case, he couldn’t change his identity. But, well, he’d try to think of something.
He motioned over to the gate and glanced up at the sky again. “It’s gotten late. You should go inside now. I’ll wait here until you’re at the door. If somebody dares to sneak attack after that, just scream. I’ll stay here for a few more minutes.”
Jing Yi nodded and then stepped inside, giving Qiu Ling another look before he turned around. For a moment, he had this feeling that he should remind him not to stay outside the whole night but he finally didn’t. In any case, Qiu Ling knew himself. He needed to trust in that. Since Qiu Ling had followed what he wanted up until this point, that was already proof enough that he was trying hard. He shouldn’t make it even harder for him by saying something which would just show that he didn’t trust him enough. No, they had to be past that.
He walked inside, closing the door with an audible thud. He stood behind it for a moment, wondering how Qiu Ling was doing out there. To be honest, it really was strange. If he could have, he would’ve been happy to stay with him. It just didn’t fit with what he wanted to do. But, well, this was just temporary. Soon enough, they could find another way. He still believed in that. With time, they would find their answers.
Reassuring himself like this, Jing Yi finally turned around and went back to his own room. Stepping inside, he sighed. Now, he really was an ascended deity with everything that was part of that. Even though he missed Qiu Ling already despite the fact that they had just bid each other farewell, he was still happy about it.
This was something that he had wanted, something he felt he needed to experience. For the first time maybe since he had found out that he was Jing He’s reincarnation, he felt like his life was his own. And that was really something that he desperately needed to experience. To not be somebody’s substitute or shadow. To be just his own person, just like he had grown up to be.
This time, it might be with the knowledge that there was Jing He in his past but that wouldn’t keep him from doing what he wanted. He believed that after living for a thousand years, he already had the strength to do this. And he would not allow anyone to sabotage that, not any of the gods that were related to Jing He or that wanted to uphold whatever laws of the Nine Heavens and not even Qiu Ling or himself. No, he would see this through until the very end.