The two of them looked at each other, a hint of regret in their gaze. If not for those things, they could have had the lives that they dreamed of. Speaking about it now, it would be a lie to say that there was no regret at all.
“I only found out that you were dead a long time after it happened. I’m afraid that by that time, there was nothing left of you. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t have been able to find you.”
Chun Yin nodded. “I didn’t expect you to. At that time, you had your life and I had mine. To think that you would pay attention to me … I’m not vain enough for that. I guess at that time, you were just happy that I wasn’t a part of your life anymore. Honestly, I can understand it. There are just some things that once they are done, can never be forgotten and maybe not even forgiven. What I did … it was one of those things.”
Jinde nodded but lowered his gaze, lightly rubbing his hands against each other. “Still, I never wanted you to die. Say, that day … how did it happen? Leng Jin Yu didn’t remember and I never had the heart to ask Qiu Ling.
“I just … I can’t imagine how she could have succeeded. You were the greatest warrior of our generation. How could you have … lost against her?” He looked back up, disbelief written in his eyes. Yes, he could never understand this. He might try to rationalize it but at the end of the day, he felt that it was impossible. The Chun Yin he knew, the man he had fallen in love with, would never go down without a fight. So how could it have been so easy?
Chun Yin smiled wryly. The memory of that day was still crystal clear to him as if it had just happened. Well, to him, it had. It was as if he just lost consciousness and then woke up again in this room.
How nice if that would really be the case! To find out that maybe, by some miracle that he didn’t deserve, Jinde had been paying attention to him after all and had somehow found out what Biao Han had planned. With his skills as a refiner, he could’ve saved him. It probably would’ve been easy for him. And then … they could have had the life that they always wanted. It would’ve been possible.
A pity that this was an illusion that he could only give into for a short moment. He was no time to waste on it. “Ah, if the circumstances had been normal, you would definitely be right. But they weren’t. Even though I didn’t love her, she was still the mother of my child. I just never had my guard up against her.
“And I guess I can’t deny that half of the time living there was actually spent with my thoughts still in the capital city. That day wasn’t any different. So she probably used a weak moment to achieve what she wanted.” He smiled faintly, keeping the rest of the truth to himself. If he told him, Jinde would only blame himself. And that was nothing that he wanted. No, it was best if he just thought of this as something unfortunate that had happened but was long in the past. He really couldn’t hope for anything more.
Jinde continued to look at him, his gaze sympathetic. “Did it take long?” This was something he had always feared. Obviously, that woman hadn’t loved Chun Yin. Most likely, she had even hated him. She had no reason to gift him a quick death. So when he thought about it, he had always feared that maybe Chun Yin would have suffered that day. That thought made it even more agonizing to think about.
Chun Yin shook his head though. “No. She … made use of the situation. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been able to kill me. There was no time to try and torture me no matter how much she might’ve wanted to do that. Don’t worry about it.”
Jinde nodded, feeling at least a little bit better.
Chun Yin couldn’t help but ask a question of his own. “That … There’s one thing I’d like to ask you. I don’t know if this is even something that you know but what about Qiu Ling? Currently, I don’t remember everything. Just that that husband of yours seems to have met him already. So I know that he definitely survived. What happened to him? The day … was he able to run away? Has she ever bothered him after that?”
Jinde hesitated. He really didn’t know if he should tell Chun Yin about it. After all, this was something that certainly hadn’t heard turned out as he had thought. But then again, it was likely that in the few hours before his time was up, Chun Yin would remember everything anyway. As such, maybe it was better if he told him directly.
He kept quiet for a moment and finally shook his head. “She didn’t bother him again. In fact, she couldn’t. That day … Qiu Ling killed her. He must have seen what had happened or at the very least he must’ve connected the dots. And then, he did the only thing he was able to do.”
Chun Yin stared at him, unable to believe what he heard. “He …” His expression turned blank first and then complicated. He still didn’t seem to know what to say.
Jinde looked at him, feeling a little compassionate. “It wasn’t easy, believe me. I guess he will have suffered a lot. But he has made it through. And now, he’s doing better.”
Chun Yin nodded and then couldn’t help but question further. “He’s together with somebody now, isn’t he?”
Jinde nodded. “The Son of Heaven. He is currently on a trial so …”
Chun Yin nodded slowly. “Ah, it seems this is also something that I will never be able to be a part of. I’ve missed most of my son’s life. I really messed up both as a husband and a father.”