OMF V5C72 I Apologize for This

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“Qiu Ling. We’ve already talked about this and more than once. I can’t stay with you. I know there is no way to make this up to you and I’m sorry for that but there is nothing I can do about my feelings. I … don’t love you anymore.” His heart squeezed painfully and he tightened his lips. Ah, he didn’t want to do this. Why did there have to be Qiu Ling if there was Tian already? Was fate playing a joke on him?!
Qiu Ling knitted his brows. “That can’t be.”
Jing Yi’s expression softened. “I don’t regret even one day I spent with you. That was … a very important part of my life and I’ve truly cared for you. But in the time I spent in the secret realm I realized that it really was just that. I cared for you but I didn’t love you. Take it as me being too young. I didn’t know what love was so … I mistook the feelings I had for you for it. Only now that I’ve really fallen in love did I realize how wrong I was.”
Qiu Ling’s expression blanked. His beloved … didn’t love him back? That couldn’t be! Why would he … He turned to look at Leng Jin Yu who furrowed his brow in return.
“What’s so good about him?!” Qiu Ling clenched his fists, his arms trembling. “He’s … He’s weaker than me and less handsome and he doesn’t care about you as much as I do either!”
Jing Yi’s heart throbbed. He had seen Qiu Ling this disturbed only a few times and each time worried him. Leaving him … really wasn’t a good decision. He should have kept his promise and accompanied Qiu Ling for the rest of his life however long it took. But there was also his promise to Tian. Both of them were important and neither of them should be broken. What was he supposed to do now?
He took a step forward and cupped Qiu Ling’s cheeks. “You’re right. I know you care the most about me. And you definitely are the strongest and the most handsome man I’ve met in this life.”
“Then why …”
Jing Yi hugged him and stroked his back. “I’m sorry, Qiu Ling. Sometimes … it’s just not that easy.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from tearing up. Hugging Qiu Ling like this … It was so familiar. Ah, he would miss this. He could only hope that he would find Tian soon. Without any of them, his life seemed so empty.
Leng Jin Yu didn’t feel good when he watched Qiu Ling and Jing Yi either. He knew that Jing Yi was misunderstanding something else entirely. He should clear it up. The Son of Heaven had passed a major trial, after all. “It’s not how you think it is.”
Qiu Ling turned to him and his eyes narrowed. His beloved wasn’t as indifferent to him as he pretended. He was sure about this. It was all this guy’s fault. He should just … His fingers twitched and his claws once again appeared. Yes, he would just take out his rival. Then his beloved would come back to him and —
“Qiu Ling.” Jing Yi let go of him and stepped back. “Don’t do this.”
Qiu Ling didn’t listen. He didn’t want to listen. He would just …
“Don’t.” Jing Yi stepped further back until he stood in front of Leng Jin Yu. “Qiu Ling, I understand how you feel but … this is making matters worse. It isn’t easy for either of us and it would hurt me deeply if you injured him.”
Leng Jin Yu cleared his throat. “Junior martial brother Zhong, this —”
“Senior martial brother Yu.” Jing Yi turned to him and smiled wryly. “You know about my feelings.”
“Yes, but —”
“I … I apologize for this. I never wanted to make trouble for you but … this is the only thing I can do.” He grabbed the lapel of his robe, tiptoed and pressed his lips onto Yu Jin’s.
Leng Jin Yu froze. Ah? What was going on here? Wasn’t Zhong Jing Yi’s reincarnation convinced that there was a lover from a past life called Tian that was waiting for him? Then why was he —
Someone in the crowd around them harrumphed. Fabric rustled when the person turned away and his steps receded. Leng Jin Yu caught up with reality again. Jinde! That had definitely been Jinde’s voice!
He grabbed Jing Yi’s shoulders and pushed him back. “I’m sorry.” He turned away without waiting for an explanation or any response at all. He didn’t care about that. He only cared about what Jinde thought. “Wait for me!” He hurried through the crowd and tried to catch up to the person in front of him.
Jinde accelerated his steps. He definitely didn’t want to talk to this person! His hands curled into fists inside his sleeves.
Leng Jin Yu didn’t give up though. He made his way through the crowd and finally saw Jinde in front of him. He had donned a hat with a veil to cover his hair and face but there was no doubt it was him. He would always recognize him.
“Wait! It’s not what it looked like!” He reached out and wanted to grab Jinde’s arm to hold him back but the fabric ran through his fingers.
“Not what it looked like?” Jinde laughed without any humor and stepped back even further. “You already cheated on me once. You already refused to marry me twice. Whatever it looked like … it’s obvious what your meaning is, isn’t it?” He looked at the person that had refused to budge when the Sect Master wanted to make him leave. Just a few hours ago he had been so sure that things would be different this time. He had thought that he just needed to make him give in, that they would spend a night together and then the rest of their lives. How come everything went wrong again? Was this some kind of curse?
“Jinde …”
Jinde shook his head and sighed, the disappointment obvious. “Let it be. If you don’t want me … I’d rather not bother you at all and stay alone. It’s also … not too bad.” He turned away, his heart squeezing painfully.
Not too bad. Ha. What a lie. But he really couldn’t bring himself to make a scene again. After all, that hadn’t helped with Chun Yin either. In the end, he would lose him anyway.

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