LWS V3C23 Not Planned Well Enough

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Su Yan once again thanked his lucky stars that he had such a great boyfriend when Nie Chang placed the notebook in front of him that he had forgotten at home. Su Yan leaned over and rewarded him with another kiss before hurriedly opening the document where he had started planning his story.
He read over his previous notes once before pondering the plot. He still only knew that Dou Fang Hai had to end up as Ziju An’s disciple somehow so that they could fall in love.
But he couldn’t just declare it a coincidence now, could he?
Mn … Dou Fang Hai would probably turn up on the day when all disciples would be taken in. They would have to take some test to make sure they were suitable to become cultivators. In that test, Ziju An had to somehow learn of him.
Maybe he was drawn in by some part of Dou Fang Hai’s personality? But the protagonist was supposed to be a troublemaker. In that case, the explanation could only come from Ziju An’s personality instead. Maybe he …
Su Yan pursed his lips. Ziju An was a quiet and refined person, a role model of a cultivator. Wouldn’t he want to have a good student who could make him proud?
Ah! No! This wasn’t true! Well, alright, it was true but it was wrong that he would need a highly talented person for that. As someone who reached the peak, he probably thought that he could even make someone with mediocre talent like Dou Fang Hai’s into a splendid cultivator. So, maybe he would just casually pick one of the disciples or even decisively ignore those with higher talent to give a chance to someone who didn’t have as high an aptitude?
That was it! Su Yan’s eyes gleamed and he hurriedly typed the idea down. Ah, this was really great!
He leaned back and took a relieved sigh. This had really been the biggest problem in planning. The rest was quite easy. Dou Fang Hai would just undergo the typical xianxia tropes like being a representative at an assembly or taking part in an auction and encountering some arrogant young masters and everything. Naturally, his master would help him with everything. And while doing that they would slowly develop feelings.
Huh. Easy-peasy.
He read everything once again before copying it with a nod. Then he opened the system and copied his new notes into the window where the general information about the story, as well as the information on his two main characters, was already saved.
He rubbed his hands and finally clicked on the [submit]-button. The system started to calculate and a row of familiar messages rolled over his screen. Su Yan wasn’t sure if he imagined it but it seemed that the first few messages came a lot faster than before.
[Processing answer.]
[Evaluating setting.]
[Evaluating characters.]
[Evaluating plot.]
[Identifying problems.]
[Compiling suggestions for improvement.]
[Appraising skill level.]
[Organizing results.]
[Setting: 4/5
Characters: 4/5
Plot: 3/5
Overall rating: 3.7/5]
Su Yan’s face lit up at the first two results. Achieving four of five points wasn’t bad considering that the system had always found something until now and that this was only the second complete story he had thought up using the system. It really was a satisfactory result.
Unfortunately … He frowned when he saw the not so good result of the plot. Three points probably couldn’t be considered bad but he still felt that he also deserved four points there. After all, what else could he have written down? There were a lot of the things that people loved about xianxia stories and he had even noted down that the main characters would fall in love while doing these things! What more did the system want?!
There was nothing he could do about it though. Well, maybe he could at least find some kind of explanation for that rating in the suggestions. Not reconciled with his result at all Su Yan read on:
[Evaluation: The host has managed to plan an outline that can be used to instantly begin writing a new story and introduce it to your audience. Not counting some minor issues the host’s skill in planning a story can be considered satisfactory. Please try implementing the following suggestions for further improvement.
1) Finalize details regarding your setting like the name and other relevant information on important places.
2) Also think about the past of your characters to give them more depth.
3) Be as specific as possible in the description of your plot. Note down scenes that will influence the main plot of your novel. Important milestones of a relationship like the moment one of the two characters falls in love, their first kiss or their first night together should be included and linked to other events in the story.
Hint: Remember to adjust your outline to changes that may occur while writing your new story.]
Su Yan raised his brows. So the system wanted him to include even more details? He had actually felt that he had done enough in that regard. But, well, thinking about it now that might not be true.
The sect the two main characters were part of didn’t have a name, neither did the peak that Ziju An led. He should have thought about such things. As for the backstory of the characters … He didn’t really think that it was necessary. Ziju An was so old already. Was he really expected to plan all of that? It would be alright for Dou Fang Hai though. Mn, yes, he would do that when implementing the suggestions.
The last one was giving him a headache though. He had thought he had already planned the most important part and he had listed a few things he wanted to have in there. Why was the system still expecting more?
Argh, well, if it wanted him to … Grumbling, Su Yan went back to work and started editing his document. As soon as he came to the notes about the plot he noticed a problem though: He had honestly no idea when the things the system suggested would happen.
How was he supposed to know that?! He hadn’t planned that much yet!
Suddenly, Su Yan realized that his system was actually right. He really … hadn’t planned well enough.


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