LWS V2C27 A Brilliant Idea

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Su Yan couldn’t believe what was going on. Somehow his life seemed to get more embarrassing with each passing hour. He fled back inside and took the seat at the counter over from Old Lao. Nie Chang came in behind him, the ordered food in his hands. He handed half of it over to Lao Lao and wanted to stay with Su Yan but his boyfriend heartlessly chased him away.
“Go, go! I have to work!” Su Yan pulled his notebook over while picking up his chopsticks with the other hand and opened the text editor again. He’d just concentrate on work, then Nie Chang wouldn’t be able to do any more embarrassing things to him.
Nie Chang sighed, picked up his part of the food and bent down to Su Yan, giving him another kiss on the cheek. “Alright. Then work hard. I’m in the back if you need anything.”
“Mn.” Su Yan just murmured but didn’t look up so as to not give Nie Chang any ideas.
A few moments later, Nie Chang’s steps slowly drew away. Su Yan took a relieved sigh. Being in a relationship wasn’t all that easy.
For a while, he just ate his food and stared blankly at his text editor. He didn’t manage to keep that up for long though. His thoughts automatically flew to the suggestions the Lovely Writing System had given him. He didn’t know about the second and third yet but the first one was definitely something he could accept. In fact, the more he thought about it the more he felt like it was a brilliant idea to have the story develop in a more linear manner.
Ah, actually, his fingers were itching now.
Su Yan finally couldn’t take it any longer. He put his chopsticks aside and started on a new first scene.
[Yun Bei Fen looked up at the bearded old man who was holding his hand with big eyes. “Master …”
“Mn? What is it, Fen’er?” The man crouched down next to him and gave a brilliant smile that made him look ten years younger.
Yun Bei Fen pointed in front of them. Is that the sect you’ve talked about?”
His master nodded. “It is. This will be your new home from now on. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll like it a lot.”
“Mn!” Yun Bei Fen smiled back. Since his father died he had been alone most of the time even though his uncle and his wife had taken him in. He felt lucky that this old grandpa had come by. Wouldn’t it just be like having a family again?]
Su Yan paused. He hadn’t really thought about it and just written whatever came to mind but right now he felt like he had had the best idea ever. Mentioning about Yun Bei Fen’s family right at the beginning would explain his great relationship with his master and also why he was so intent to see Mei Chao Bing as part of his family later on. Hah! He really felt like a genius now.
With a smile on his lips, Su Yan went back to writing the scene. He still had to bring up the male lead in a convincing way.
[Yun Bei Fen followed his master onto the sect grounds. Coincidentally, this was the day when the new disciples would be tested and then admitted if they had the aptitude and passed the sect’s tests.
He curiously looked around, his gaze soon locking onto a few youths who were facing each other with swords drawn. Yun Bei Fen watched as the two youths on one side charged at the lone one on the other side with a cry.
He worriedly tugged at his master’s sleeve. “Master! Look over there!” He pointed at the three boys but his master only laughed.
“Don’t worry about that, Fen’er. It’s just one of the tests for those disciples who are a little older. Look, they’re wearing different robes. The boys in the gray robes are the ones that want to be admitted to the sect. The one in the white robe is already a disciple. He’s called Mei Chao Bing. His master is actually one of our elders.”
“Mei Chao Bing.” Yun Bei Fen repeated this name with sparkling eyes and continued to watch the fight.
Even though Mei Chao Bing was up against two people simultaneously this seemed like a breeze to him. He weaved between the attacks, his sword sometimes lashing out with the flat side and striking the thigh or the arm of one of the applicants. Those two stood no chance against him.
Right then and then, Yun Bei Fen decided that he wanted to become just like this Senior Martial Brother Mei: Strong and graceful and handsome. He even felt that this person was a much better idol than his old-looking master. Well, his master could just be his second father.
Thinking like this, Yun Bei Fen turned back to his master, gripped his hand and smiled brightly. It really was nice having a family again. Maybe in the future, he might get to know his idol better. Then he could finally have a big brother. Hadn’t he always wished for that?]
Su Yan leaned back and stretched his arms. He felt quite satisfied with this first scene. It was short but since it was just for giving the readers a small look at how Yun Bei Fen’s good feelings for Mei Chao Bing came about that was probably alright.
“This is done …”
He pursed his lips and scrolled through the other scenes. If he understood correctly, the system wanted him to take out all flashbacks. That would also include the story with Mei Chao Bing’s master but he had no idea how to do that at all. He certainly couldn’t put that at the beginning, too, could he?
No, that wasn’t possible. It would just be like jumping around from place to place without getting to the real story. It would be better to have the story of how those two became lovers after this small scene at the beginning.
Then how to deal with the rest? He frowned a little. The best thing might be to just cut that part out or at least reduce it. But would it still have the same impact? He couldn’t imagine it. So, he’d probably have to just try it out.

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