Back in the Yun Zou sect, Zhong Jing Yi was pacing up and down in his room. He didn’t feel much better than Qiu Ling. Somehow, he didn’t feel good about being with him but he also didn’t feel good about rejecting him. He felt like he was being torn apart and as if every decision he made would be wrong.
It wasn’t a wonder he felt like this. If the God of Love didn’t tie the red thread for someone, it meant that this person was damned to never find true love for in their mortal lifetime.
When crown prince Jing He had asked him to do so he had thought that Qiu Ling would stay in the Nine Heavens with him, guarding his immortal body instead of following his soul into the human world to take part in his trial. Thus he had thought that this step would enable him to save all those things one might encounter in a relationship for Qiu Ling and the time after his trial. He had wanted to save himself for the man he truly loved while making sure that Qiu Ling wouldn’t have to suffer.
In fact, asking the God of Love for help had only been one of the steps he took to ensure that his plan would work. After all, just because he wouldn’t find true love in the mortal realm it wasn’t said that he wouldn’t get together with someone temporarily.
Back then, he had fretted what to do about that. When his trial ended it would take some days but in the end, he would remember everything. Whether it was falling in love, marrying, kissing or even being embraced by a man, he might not have experienced it with his real body but he would still remember it. Wasn’t that essentially the same?
He didn’t want that. He had wanted Qiu Ling to be the man he experienced all these things with regardless of which body it concerned. But he never would have thought that the things he did for the man he loved would end up hurting that person.
In the end, Jing He had made too sure that nothing would happen and thus, his mortal reincarnation Jing Yi was now fretting over what to do. On the one hand, his soul recognized Qiu Ling which made him feel attracted. He couldn’t remember anything though and thus couldn’t understand those feelings. On the other hand, he subconsciously felt that he shouldn’t get into a relationship. Marrying? That was out of the question.
He was like a moth that was drawn to the flame but, as soon as it came closer to the brilliant light it desired, it would also feel the burning heat and recoil. He wanted to get close but he couldn’t.
Haunted by these feelings, Jing Yi couldn’t find any peace of mind. He didn’t know what to do. How much would he have loved to have someone to discuss this with! But who could he ask? He was in the same dilemma as last time: Shao Hai didn’t like this senior martial brother Qiu and Xiao Dong looked up to him. None of them would be able to give him good advice. He’d have to ask someone that was impartial and —
A knock sounded from the door and a voice Jing Yi had heard just a few days prior came from the other side. “Junior martial brother Zhong, I came to see you.”
Jing Yi stood up and rushed to open the door with a smile. “Senior martial brother Qiguan, how nice of you to come by!” He really was happy to see this person. Wasn’t he basically the answer to his worries? After all, they had already talked about this before and Qiguan Cheng Da seemed to have understood his worries very well. He would certainly know what to do. “Please, come in!” He motioned into the room.
Qiguan Cheng Da smiled and entered. “Junior martial brother Zhong. It’s been a few days. How are you feeling? Any better?” He took a seat on Jing Yi’s cue and smiled amicably.
Jing Yi sat down opposite him and sighed. “I told him today.”
“Already?” Qiguan Cheng Da’s eyes widened. Why was this damned boy this decisive? Couldn’t he have waited a while more?! He hadn’t managed to see that Grandmaster’s disciple even once! How was he supposed to establish a relationship with him like that?!
Jing Yi nodded. “He came by this morning. I felt like … I shouldn’t wait any longer. If he knows, then he can move on. That should be better.” He lowered his head and silently put a hand to his forehead. Somehow, he missed him now. But hadn’t he felt revolted when he was with him? He couldn’t understand himself anymore!
Jing Yi looked up again, his gaze troubled. “Senior martial brother Qiguan, I … I feel like I did the wrong thing. But then I … I also feel like I did not. What should I do?”
Qiguan Cheng Da almost snorted. What, having second thoughts now? Or was that your plan all along? Rejecting him to make you look better in front of him? As if you weren’t that easily available just because he has power? Don’t make me laugh! Everyone would be able to figure that scheme out!
Even though he thought this way, Qiguan Cheng Da still smiled on the surface. “Well, it’s natural to feel conflicted in such a situation. Why don’t you tell me what exactly happened?”
Jing Yi nodded and recounted what had happened. Qiguan Cheng Da seemed thoughtful. “Mn, I understand. Well, a big part of your problem should be that you actually took that Amethyst Lightning pill. It is extremely valuable. If you want it, you definitely have to marry him.”
“No, I don’t need it.”
Qiguan Cheng Da raised his brows. You still want to pretend? Alright. Then I’ll play my part. “Then you should return it as soon as possible.”
Jing Yi nodded. “I’ll do that.” He stood up and actually took the pill out in front of Qiguan Cheng Da. He looked at it worriedly.
Senior martial brother Qiu had said that he had searched for the materials himself and even found someone to refine it. Giving it back … It would probably hurt him again. All his good intentions would have gone to waste. When he went there and told him … he’d have to see him look like that again.
He remembered those sad eyes and his heart squeezed.
Qiguan Cheng Da stood up and walked over. “What is it, junior martial brother? You can’t bring yourself to do it?”
“I … I don’t want to see him anymore.” He pressed his lips together. If he just imagined going over to the inner sect … No, he couldn’t do that anyway. “He’s in the inner sect. How would I even go there?”
Qiguan Cheng Da’s eyes glinted. “If you don’t want to see him, you don’t have to. Actually, I know someone in the inner sect, so I go over sometimes. Why don’t you entrust the Amethyst Lightning pill to me? I can bring it back to him when I go over the next time.”
Jing Yi looked up but hesitated. This was his senior martial brother’s goodwill. Wouldn’t it be shabby of him not to return it himself? But even if he wanted to, it was true that he couldn’t enter the inner sect’s grounds. Eventually, he sighed and gave the pill to Qiguan Cheng Da. “I’m sorry I have to trouble you, senior martial brother Qiguan.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. It’s just a slight effort and our families know each other, after all. It’s the right thing to do.”
Jing Yi slightly bowed. Well, at least, he wouldn’t have to see that person again. He really couldn’t take his disappointment.
Qiguan Cheng Da curled his fingers around the pill. He really couldn’t believe how dumb that boy was. Giving up an Amethyst Lightning pill, especially if one had such a lacking aptitude? Really, even sleeping with that man once or twice wouldn’t be asking too much if it enabled one to get heavenly spirit veins.
With a smug smile, Qiguan Cheng Da kept the pill. He could hardly believe that he had been able to gain an Amethyst Lightning pill without having to do anything but listen to a laughable story. “Alright. I’d better go and see if I can return this right now. The sooner he has it back, the sooner you can be at ease again.”
“Thank you very much, senior martial brother Qiguan.” Jing Yi bowed again and showed him out of the room.
As soon as Qiguan Cheng Da was out of sight, Jing Yi sighed and returned to pacing up and down. Putting his mind at ease was easier said than done. He just couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Outside, the sky started to darken. Finally, when Jing Yi was about to go to bed there was once more a knock on the door.
He looked up and frowned. “It couldn’t be that senior martial brother Qiguan came back to tell me that he managed to return the pill already, could it?” He went over and opened the door.
The one on the other side wasn’t Qiguan Cheng Da. Instead, it was the person that had occupied Jing Yi’s whole mind since the morning.