LWS Chapter 50 Independent But Lonely?

The rest of the day passed by in a blur for Su Yan. When he was finally back home, lying in his bed with a pillow hugged to his chest, he only had a vague recollection of how the workshop ended and the things that followed after. It seemed Nie Chang had driven him to a restaurant afterward, a nice restaurant even, and they had eaten but he couldn’t remember what had been on his plate. He hadn’t tasted anything and if Nie Chang had actually said something, then he hadn’t heard any of that, either. He just knew that he somehow ended up in his apartment again.
Su Yan sighed. His mind was still a bit hazy. All that was left inside was that scene of Nie Chang saying „Oh. Here. This is for you!“ and handing him that heart-shaped chocolate.
He had said it so casually. As if … as if it was a normal thing, something he might say every day. Well, the thing he had said was something he could say every day. But what about that chocolate?
Su Yan nervously bit his nails. Maybe he was over-thinking this but it had really felt as if Nie Chang wanted to say more with this.
„It can’t be!“ Su Yan shook his head and hugged the pillow closer.
But looking back at this day … He had felt the whole time as if something was wrong. Su Yan slowly let go of the pillow and stood up. He went into the kitchen and looked at the flowers on the table.
Those were alstroemeria. He clearly remembered telling Nie Chang once that those were his favorite flowers. Thinking about it now, it didn’t seem like a coincidence that he had gotten exactly this kind.
And then there was that car. It was also the one he liked and they had talked about that, too. And the first thing Nie Chang had done was asking him if he liked it. Why should that be important? It was his car! What mattered was if he himself liked it, not some friend. But Nie Chang had watched the advertisement again and obviously watched really closely to know for sure what they showed and what not.
And then there was that thing he said: ‚Since it’s mine, it’s obviously your car, too. Naturally, you’d be disappointed if we couldn’t have it.‘ What was with that attitude of ‚what’s mine is yours‘? They weren’t in a relationship! They were friends! Just friends. They always had been …
Su Yan went back and sat down on his bed once more. His gaze was growing distant and a bit dazed.
Just friends. Could he really still say that? He hadn’t noticed before but after spending the whole day with him he felt like something had changed between them. The way he felt when he was close to Nie Chang and the thing that happened in the park … That wasn’t how he should feel about a friend, was it?
Su Yan raised his hand and absentmindedly touched his lips. Nie Chang had pressed him against the tree and done these things to him. But even now when he thought of it it hadn’t felt like that kiss Li Ming forced on him in the subway. Yes, actually, he still felt his heart race when he thought about that kiss with Nie Chang. And that short moment in the workshop …
Su Yan blushed when he remembered how naturally Nie Chang had invaded his mouth. That definitely wasn’t something friends would do! No wonder the guy from the row behind them had said something like that!
He covered his face with his hands and laid down. Oh god, what was he supposed to do now?! He needed advice!
Su Yan lay there and just stared into empty space. Damn. Who to ask? He couldn’t go to Nie Chang with this, that was for sure. But who else was there?
Just when Su Yan pondered who else he knew his phone vibrated. He took it out and grimaced. It was actually a message from Nie Chang. With trembling hands, Su Yan opened it:
[Sweet dreams]
Su Yan stared at the message and gulped. What was he supposed to respond? Should he respond at all? But if he didn’t, then wouldn’t Nie Chang wonder what was going on? Ah, what if all this was just a misunderstanding and Nie Chang didn’t even like him?!
Before he could find an answer the Lovely Writing System suddenly opened up on its own. It showed him the text that signified that he had somehow managed to finish the next task:
[Curiosity, ambitiousness, and audaciousness. Those are traits the explorer often has. Whether it is traveling to far away places or trying something new and exciting where he lives the explorer will always follow his own will without caring about conventions or other peoples’ opinions.]
Su Yan pressed his lips together. Really, he would have liked if Nie Chang had thought a bit more about conventions and the others’ opinions. He had felt so embarrassed when that guy told them to get a room!
[The explorer might have problems to rely on others and rather try to do everything himself. A truly independent but sometimes also a lonely man. This character trait might be a good link between the protagonist and a male lead, whether it be a first, secondary or tertiary male lead.]
Su Yan felt a bit strange reading this. Indeed. Nie Chang was really independent. He was able to manage the repair shop all alone and he seemed to be doing pretty well. Whether he was lonely … Su Yan had never thought so. But maybe that wasn’t true? Maybe Nie Chang was indeed missing company? After all, he had never had a girlfriend all these years. Or, well, a boyfriend. But maybe he wanted to have one.
Is that what this is about? Is Nie Chang just lonely and now he has somehow gotten the impression that I’m into men so he thinks we might make a good couple? But Nie Chang said that he had liked that person for a long time already.
Argh! Su Yan pulled up his blanket and hid his face. He didn’t know what to think! He really felt like Nie Chang had given him lots of little hints but this might only be wishful thinking. After all, what would happen if Nie Chang really got himself a boyfriend? He’d be left all alone! No, he didn’t want that!
Su Yan sat up again and pouted. This was really too much! He didn’t want to lose him. But it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. He laid back down and rolled over on his side. What to do? He didn’t want to lose him but it wasn’t like he could seduce him to keep him at his side, could he?
Su Yan started to seriously ponder this issue. In the end, if he wanted to seduce him, how would he even go about it?

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