OMF V11C20 None of It Could Be Disclosed

Xiang Yu was paying attention to the guards at the gate, afraid that they would come and make trouble. Still, since he was holding onto Jinde’s hand, he naturally also paid attention to him. When Jinde’s mood lowered, his grasp tightened slightly.

Xiang Yu looked up with a puzzled expression. “What’s the matter?” The guards hadn’t moved at all even though they seemed to be keeping an eye on them. He also hadn’t noticed anything else that was reason to worry but maybe Jinde had picked up on something he hadn’t.

Jinde sighed faintly. “It’s nothing. Just … I was suddenly reminded of Jin Ling.”

Xiang Yu lowered his head. “Oh.” He had also known Jin Ling and despite the fact that Jin Ling had been a demon, they had gotten along relatively well. He still wouldn’t have sought him out but if he ran into him in one of the halls of the palace where he had made his new home, he could still talk to him for a few minutes.

Jinde hummed. “Yeah. I don’t know what to say about it either. There is nothing I could have done I suppose and it isn’t like we had much of a relationship left and yet, I hate that he has already left this world. No parent should have to bury their child.”

Xiang Yu nodded. That seemed true but also really sad. He didn’t know what he could do to cheer Jinde up either. He couldn’t just say ‘Don’t worry, you’ll have a new one soon’. Even though it wasn’t wrong, he didn’t think it would comfort Jinde at all. He loved all of his children and he did so equally. Gaining one didn’t make the loss of the other any more bearable.

Jinde sighed and turned to look at Xiang Yu. “Don’t think too much. It’s something that happened and I’ve pulled out of the worst. From now on, while I will miss him and grieve his loss, I also know that I need to continue living my life.”

Xiang Yu nodded but still squeezed Jinde’s hand a bit more tightly. “I’m … I’m there, you know?”

Jinde nodded. “I know.” Although he really wasn’t sure if he wanted to discuss this with Xiang Yu. Even though he was, well, a fallen god and had originally been a trueborn god who had almost come of age, he still seemed like a child most of the time. He didn’t want to put any burden on him.

Next to him, Xiang Yu lowered his head and tried to inconspicuously touch the Mark of Wisdom. He didn’t know how to cheer up Jinde concerning Jin Ling’s death but maybe … maybe he could tell him something about the life he would have. After all, even demons had a soul that would be reincarnated. If he could get a glimpse of that and tell him, Jinde would certainly appreciate it.

“Huh?” Xiang Yu stared blankly as he touched the mark, not sure what to think.

Jinde looked at him quizzically, a bit worried about his current posture. If Xiang Yu continued doing this every now and then, he might expose something. He couldn’t let that happen.

Thinking of that, Jinde hurriedly pulled down his hand and then helped adjust the jewelry to make sure nothing peeked out. “You have to be careful. If you don’t need to use your Mark of Wisdom, better stay your hand. Each use is another possible moment in which you could expose yourself.”

Xiang Yu nodded and just turned back to blankly look at the gate. He didn’t tell Jinde what he had found. He didn’t know how to. Originally, he had thought he’d find a soul resting to wait for reincarnation. It wasn’t like he could do much with that information since only Tian would be able to reach that place but at least he’d have some information. Maybe he could have gotten a glimpse at when that reincarnation would be or what it would look like. Now though … he wasn’t so sure what to make of what the Mark of Wisdom told him.

Of course, none of this could be disclosed to Jinde. He was currently in a delicate state and still grieving Jin Ling. If he heard that there was something odd about his soul, who knew what that would do to him? Thus, he could only stay silent and pretend nothing had happened.

His mind continued to stay on the issue though. He knew he couldn’t just keep this to himself. He had to talk about it with someone. If Jinde couldn’t be that person, then … well, who should he go to? Leng Jin Yu? But he was Jinde’s husband and if he found out about this, he’d feel the need to share it. Even if not, he’d also agonize over whether to tell him or not. Qiu Ling would be in a similar conundrum but he wasn’t an option anyway because he was still unconscious.

Xiang Yu sighed. “I really hope we’ll find Jing He soon so Qiu Ling can wake up again.” Otherwise, out of all the people he knew, it seemed like … Xin Lan would be the only one to approach.

He tried to imagine that scene but failed miserably. Well, he could imagine something but it sure didn’t contain something like Xin Lan greeting him with a smile and patiently listening to his worries before coming up with a plan to help.

No, he’d probably curse at him again as soon as he saw him, then scold him for meddling, and finally, he’d walk off on his own to solve the matter without even telling him what he had thought of. It really was … too hateful. If only Xin Lan could have been a bit nicer, then he wouldn’t need to feel conflicted at such a time.

Thinking of this, Xiang Yu turned to the side and hugged Jinde, burying his face in his chest. Maybe he should really hold out hope that he’d find somebody better who would treat him like Leng Jin Yu treated Jinde or vice versa. He just … really liked Xin Lan despite all his faults.

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