Jing He watched Qiu Ling’s movements, a little puzzled why he seemed so distant. Still, hearing his words, his heart which had been high-strung these days finally calmed down again.
Lowering his head, he gave a faint smile. “There really is no need to apologize. This situation …” He wasn’t sure how to say it and finally just shook his head. “Even though I didn’t know the details, my uncle mentioned that you had lost somebody important to you. Based on that, I could also understand that you didn’t come back. How could I fault you?”
Qiu Ling gave a hum. “It’s good if you can understand but still. The trial is a major issue for you. You finally waking up shouldn’t have been ignored like this. You must have been wondering.” Yes, knowing Jing He, he would think about it from all kinds of points of view, and who knew what he’d come up with?
Actually, as soon as Qiu Ling finally snapped out of his own delusion, that thought also occurred to him and he couldn’t help but worry. It seemed that there was a high likelihood of something going wrong between them if he let this happen.
He cleared his throat, slightly leaning forward. “Either way, I’m happy if you’re not angry at me because of this. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Jing He hastily shook his head. “Not at all! How could I be angry?” Yes, if anything, he’d have to be angry at himself for failing to keep Qiu Ling’s attention. Qiu Ling definitely couldn’t be blamed for that. “I’m just relieved that you feel better now. You … you do feel better, right?” He carefully looked at Qiu Ling’s expression before lowering his gaze again.
He didn’t look any different from usual. He was still that handsome and charming man. At most, maybe his smile wasn’t as bright as before. But was that because he was still sad because of what had happened before or …
Qiu Ling hummed faintly. “I am a lot better, yes.” He hesitated, thinking of what Tian had told him. He was supposed to remind Jing He of what the two of them had spoken about but he had no idea what that might be and it was likely that it would be a long time before Jing He actually remembered that talk. If he told him now … wouldn’t he freak out because he had somehow managed to get into contact with the supreme ruler?
Qiu Ling’s expression turned subtle. He knew that Jing He had always been fascinated by the story of Tian and Xing. Now, his beloved had somehow managed to meet that man. He currently couldn’t remember but when he did … what would he feel?
Qiu Ling rubbed his forehead, suddenly feeling tired. He had some issues stemming from his heritage. In fact, if he was honest with himself, he was incredibly insecure in this regard. He didn’t feel like he deserved Jing He’s love but he craved it nonetheless.
So far, he had been able not to worry too much because whoever dared to try and become his rival in love could just be beaten back. But if it was Tian? Well, there was no such chance. That was a person he couldn’t win against. And unfortunately, it was also a person who actually had a chance of making his beloved waver.
Qiu Ling pursed his lips. This situation had never happened before. Even when it came to Xin Lan who had that kind of status in the dragon realm that could be considered higher than his own based on reputation and strength, he wouldn’t have worried. But Tian was just something else entirely.
Of course, that thought was ridiculous.
Qiu Ling closed his eyes. Jing He loved him. He didn’t doubt that. In fact, he knew that Jing He had carved his own soul to ensure that nothing would change about that so by now, it could almost be said that being with him was pretty much the same as being with another dragon who was affected by the curse on their race. He really didn’t need to worry.
The problem was that, deep down, he felt like Jing He might regret his actions. What if he heard of Tian or remembered him and then started to wonder what could have happened if he hadn’t gone ahead before his trial and made that carving? Although even if he did, would Tian even be interested?
Qiu Ling sighed and opened his eyes again, giving Jing He a deep look. His beloved was so beautiful, his personality was pleasant, and he was so attentive, it was hard for him to imagine how anyone couldn’t be in love with him. But then, Tian had also been deeply in love with Xing. And from the sound of it, he had found him in the end after all. So why worry about this?
Qiu Ling cleared his throat, telling himself not to be ridiculous. Anyway, if the supreme ruler suggested you should tell somebody something, then it would be idiotic not to do so. Not to mention that he had gotten a rather vivid reminder during Jing He’s trial that having some honest talks was best for a relationship even if those talks were tough.
Finally making up his mind, Qiu Ling placed his hands back on the table and looked at Jing He. “Other than that apology, I feel that there are a lot of things we should talk about. But right now, you are probably overwhelmed by what you remembered already. Can I ask … how much was it? And how long do you think it will take to remember the rest?”
Anyway, even if he knew that he should say it, it might be best to carefully introduce the topic. He didn’t want to scare Jing He after all. And suddenly hearing that the supreme ruler you had been talking about before knew about you and was even very much aware of your situation … he had to admit that that might sound a little scary.