Jinde was eager to finally have that child but he wouldn’t just ignore the other one to do that. Seeing Qiu Ling like this, he also knew that he needed to be careful. He had been in a fragile state not long ago and even though he said that he had no problem with him and Leng Jin Yu having this child, he was certain that there should be at least some mixed feelings about this. If he didn’t take the time to speak to him now, then when would he?
Hesitating for a moment, he turned around completely and reached out, putting his hands on Qiu Ling’s shoulders. Then, he just looked at him.
Under that gaze, Qiu Ling couldn’t help but feel a little strange. He had always been closer to Jinde than he had been to his own father and he knew that — despite the long time they hadn’t seen each other — Jinde was still able to understand him. He just was that type of person.
Being looked at by those golden eyes, he suddenly calmed down. Closing his own, he took a deep breath and then shook his head. “It’s not about you having this child. I … I’m just anxious about going in the water.”
Jinde looked at him and smiled faintly. “I know.” Qiu Ling might’ve never mentioned that he was afraid but he didn’t have to guess much. In any case, underwater, especially out in the open sea, most dragons would take on their other form. And for Qiu Ling, that was a bitter topic. So really, it was no surprise that this was his reaction.
Qiu Ling opened his eyes again, not sure what to make of this. “Then …”
Jinde grabbed his arm and turned back around to the sea. “Then, you will take as much time as you need before we all go together.”
If Qiu Ling had been afraid of the water itself, he wouldn’t be doing this but what this child worried about wasn’t that. It was exposing his true colors in the truest sense of the word.
But they were alone here and even if they weren’t, one day, Qiu Ling would have to face this. There were also several people that knew by now, so he should gather his courage and confront it directly, taking the next step of accepting himself for who he really was.
Qiu Ling clenched his hands into fists, staring at the ocean in front. He also understood what Jinde was doing but that didn’t mean that he was happy about it. If he could get around this, he gladly would.
Yes, he also understood that he couldn’t run away for eternity. And it was probably better to confront this when he was with people he trusted while there wasn’t an emergency. That way, he’d have the time he needed to get used to the thought before actually doing it.
Just imagining what kind of situation he could get himself into otherwise … Well, he had had enough disasters for the rest of his life, so really, he’d be very happy if another one didn’t occur or he was at least prepared to face it head-on.
Leng Jin Yu watched the two of them but didn’t say anything, instead turning away and looking at the sea himself. He knew that Jinde would be able to deal with this, probably much better than he would be able to.
If it was him … he was afraid he would have nodded even if he was a bit disappointed, and then left Qiu Ling where he was. It hadn’t even occurred to him that maybe it would be better if he tried to argue this point. It made him wonder if this was because his relationship with Qiu Ling wasn’t close enough or if there was something more to it.
Was he not strict enough? Then as somebody who would soon be a parent, did he need to change something about that? He found himself to be in a dilemma there. But then, there was a difference between trying to guide a young child and trying to get along with a child from a previous life that had already been an adult for a long time. He couldn’t believe that the overlap between these two options was that huge.
While Leng Jin Yu was thinking to himself, Qiu Ling stared at the water, finally taking a small step forward. He could probably do it. Anyway, it wasn’t like he hadn’t entered the water previously. He had done so, it just hadn’t ended that well. The panic he would feel when he did … he didn’t want to go through that again. But then, Jinde and Leng Jin Yu were right there. If he couldn’t take it, the two would definitely fish him right out of the water. There was nothing to worry about.
Jinde patted his shoulder after seeing him try. “Take your time. We’re a day early. If you really can’t do it, we can just come back tomorrow.”
Qiu Ling didn’t necessarily need to come down with them but since they had already talked about it, he felt that it would be best if he did. He wanted this to be a thing for the whole family. That might be selfish — especially looking at Qiu Ling’s mood right now — but still, he wanted this. Wasn’t it alright to be selfish sometimes?
Qiu Ling nodded and then took another moment before finally nodding again. “Alright, let’s do it.” He wasn’t sure if he was ready but this was the best state he could get himself into. He didn’t see this getting any better.
Jinde took a deep look at him and nodded as well. “Alright. If you feel that you can’t hold on at any moment, just give us a sign. We’ll stop immediately.”
Qiu Ling nodded and then gently pushed him back to his husband. “Anyway, I’m just accompanying you. What are you doing, clinging to me like this? Go get your husband!”
Jinde chuckled but still grabbed his husband’s hand before reaching back out and grabbing onto Qiu Ling’s sleeve. “You know, I have two hands. I can hold onto my husband and our child at the same time.”
Qiu Ling really wanted to complain but seeing the gentle look in Jinde’s eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to do so. In the end, he could only mumble to himself. Anyway, in another ten months, Jinde would have three people to hold onto but still only two hands. At that time, what did he want to do?
But knowing Jinde, he’d probably still have some smart-ass response so Qiu Ling didn’t bother trying. Instead, he just followed the two of them to the edge of the shore until the water was lapping over their feet. And even though he had still been anxious just now, his heart actually calmed down.
What the future would bring … he didn’t know. But the two people next to him, he trusted them. Surely, with them at his side, things would turn out well.