As for the other part of the couple, it couldn’t be said that things were alright either. Currently, Hua Lin Yu was leaning against the railing of the junk and looking out at the landscape that was floating by beneath them.
Xiao Li stood not too far away, not saying anything but his gaze did stay on Hua Lin Yu. He had figured that with how obsessed that youth was with him, he would definitely be safe. But only now did he realize just how much of a dangerous game he had played.
Clearly, even if Hua Lin Yu felt something for him, his feelings for Xin Lan weren’t shallow either. And if this affair with him was really just a youthful folly, then in the future, he might need to worry about being killed by that dragon. Because clearly, as soon as Hua Lin Yu decided that he did not want to be with him anymore and rushed back into that man’s arms or got with anybody else, revenge would follow suit.
He slightly furrowed his brows, wondering what he could do. At the moment, it didn’t seem like Hua Lin Yu would reconsider immediately. But then, it was hard to say. He really looked depressed. But then, that was the easiest state to influence him in. He just needed to be careful. If he was too forceful, it wouldn’t help his case. No, he needed to show that he was the better partner, the one who understood him and could deal with anything for him because he loved him deeply. Surely, Hua Lin Yu would lap that up like nothing.
Thinking of that, he sighed audibly and walked over, leaning against the railing next to Hua Lin Yu. “You know, if you regret it, I could understand. After all, there is a lot between the two of you. The few weeks with me probably can’t compare.”
He narrowed his eyes while he looked out, wondering if he had done a good enough job. Giving in, letting him decide, reassuring him that no matter which decision he made, he would be alright with them, that should be the right path, right?
Hua Lin Yu froze and then wildly shook his head, turning to Xiao Li and grabbing his arm. “That’s not it! I …” He shook his head again even though not with as much fervor, not sure how to explain himself.
Xiao Li made sure to keep his expression open and turned to look at him. “It’s alright. You can tell me everything honestly, no matter what it would mean for me.”
Hua Lin Yu sighed again, feeling that he really was doing everything wrong today. “There really is a lot between Xin Lan and me. But it’s not that I regret not choosing him. I know that you are the right one for me.
“It is just … I would have wished that he was able to realize that as well. That he could see that the two of us won’t work out together in the long run and that I’m better off with you. Then, maybe it wouldn’t have needed to end like this. Maybe the two of us even could’ve stayed in contact. I really would’ve liked that, you know? After all, even though I don’t love him like that, he still means a lot to me.”
Xiao Li looked at the youth that was clinging to his arm and couldn’t help but feel that that dragon was really pitiful. Who had ever seen a person as cruel as this? Somebody who could say with a smile that he missed you and would like to stay in contact while at the same time, they were breaking your heart?
Even though he was half demon, there was still enough human blood in him to understand that what Hua Lin Yu was currently doing was quite torturous for his actual partner. When it came to himself, he would only lose out on benefits. But that dragon? Well, for him, this was like pulling out his heart and then stomping it underfoot. Not that he would make that clear to Hua Lin Yu.
He gave a faint smile and then fully turned around to him, gently pulling him into his arms. “I can understand that. I’m sorry that things didn’t work out that way. But you know, maybe you shouldn’t give up hope yet. Right now, the situation is still new for him. After all, he wasn’t there when we met. He didn’t see how everything played out. Maybe after a while, he will get over it and be more open to staying in contact with you just like you want. That is still a possibility, isn’t it?”
Hua Lin Yu really wasn’t sure if he should believe that. He might not be able to completely understand the consequences of what he had done, but he did know Xin Lan. And he knew that he wasn’t somebody who would ever accept being second best.
If he stayed around, he would never not try to get between him and Xiao Li. That was something that he absolutely couldn’t let happen. Because even though he didn’t want to admit it, he did hold some feelings for Xin Lan. And those were not the same kind of feelings he had for his family or the senior martial brothers and sisters from the Jian Yi Sect, or anyone else he had met over the years. No, Xin Lan wasn’t just a friend. He did love him. Just not as much as Xiao Li.
But knowing that, he couldn’t really keep him around, could he? In any case, that would be dishonest towards Xiao Li. Wasn’t that why he had evaded Xin Lan so much over the last weeks in the Jian Yi Sect? Wasn’t that why he had always lashed out when Xin Lan approached him?
Yes, was afraid of what would happen if the two of them were still close. Because even after meeting Bai Mu, even after finding Xiao Li again, he did realize that he wasn’t completely over Xin Lan either. No, he really had to feel guilty toward both parties.
This was a situation he never would’ve thought he could get into but now, it was too late. And it wasn’t like he could change his feelings. The only thing he could do was to try and make sure that he would not betray Xiao Li. And for that, keeping his distance from Xin Lan was definitely the right decision.