Well, if there was one thing that he currently had a lot of, then it was time to work on himself. And he intended to make full use of this opportunity.
For the time being, he wasn’t looking for a new job. He was keeping an eye out in case he found something he would be especially interested in. If something like that crossed his path, he would definitely go for it. But otherwise, he had decided that he would take some time off and just live off his savings, doing some things to take his mind off what had happened with Mo Fang, find back to himself, and take a step towards the future.
He didn’t know for how long he would do this. For now, he was thinking of at least one month but he might also continue a little longer. Naturally, he wouldn’t just sit around at home though. No, there was a lot to do. If he was alone, he would just be thinking more about Mo Fang. But if he had something to do and some company, then things would be different. Thus, that was what was on his agenda for the next few weeks.
As for his specific plans, there were two main objectives that he wanted to reach: The first was filling his time sensibly to justify quitting his old job and taking time off afterward.
He didn’t want to apply to a new job and have to answer the question of why he hadn’t immediately gotten something new. That would just be too awkward. He wasn’t somebody who would lie but talking about his personal reasons just didn’t seem right. While he could skirt around his orientation, just admitting that it had been due to personal reasons and even a breakup didn’t seem that good either.
A security guard was somebody that their employer needed to be able to trust in all situations. If they felt that he wasn’t emotionally strong enough to deal with personal setbacks and keep them out of work, that wouldn’t reflect well on him. Thus, he would just pretend that he had resigned because he wanted to reorient himself and take the next step in his career. Anyway, it wasn’t wrong even though the breakup had started it. If this could ensure that he didn’t get asked any awkward questions, he would gladly go this route.
He had already looked around and there were a few courses that would look good on his resume. Who knew? After doing all that, maybe he would really be able to take a step forward in his career.
This was something that he hadn’t thought too much about because he had been happy at the railroad station. But now, he might be at a point in his life where it was the right thing to do. Also, with new surroundings came new opportunities. He might find a completely new perspective.
As for the other objective he wanted to reach, it was proving to himself that he could live well without Mo Fang. Since their breakup, he had often felt that going through each day without him was a chore. It was as if all the fun had been drained from his life.
He remembered how exciting every moment had been when Mo Fang was still at his side. At the end of the day, while it was mostly due to Mo Fang’s company, there was more to it. Because they had been going on dates whenever they had a day off, they had made a lot of plans. And they had put a lot of effort into finding something that they would both like or would at least want to try.
Before Mo Fang and he got together, he hadn’t done nearly enough of such things. So that was something that he wanted to change as well. From now on, he would plan something exciting for himself every now and then. It would surely enrich his life.
Also, even if he went out alone, there would be other people at whatever he had planned. This was the perfect chance to get to know new people. Not in a relationship sense but just as acquaintances or friends.
To be honest, being alone was something that felt strange. Before this, even after Mo Fang and he had broken up, there had at least been the others from the railroad station. But now, it felt as if there was nobody left in his life.
He knew that wasn’t true. If he wanted to, he could always call one of the others and ask them to hang out. He could also visit the other friends he had. He could probably even try to better the relationship with his own family.
So yes, there was no reason to panic. It was just that with so many things in his life ending, everything felt so … final. It was a strange feeling.
He shook his head at himself and tried not to think about it any longer. In any case, he had a plan for how to go forward. Now, the only thing he needed to do was actually doing that.
He didn’t think that everything would be easy, but he also knew that this was something that he could do. He just needed to keep at it and try his best. Then in one way or another, he would manage to get through this. That was a matter of course.
In life, there was always a way forward. It might not be easy to be seen and you might have trouble letting go of what had been before but it wasn’t like you were stranded. No, everyone had options. And while some sacrifices might need to be made, things weren’t over forever because something in your life had ended.
He took a deep breath and then smiled to himself, feeling that as long as he kept this positive attitude, he would be able to manage. Yes, he just needed to believe in himself and his goals and then take it one step at a time. In the end, he would arrive at a point where he would have a new goal in mind. He could definitely do that.