Xin Lan hesitated for a moment but when Jinde motioned again for him to come over, he finally did. Sitting down between them, he actually felt quite awkward. But on the other hand, he did want Hua Lin Yu back. He could probably bear the embarrassment if it finally benefited him.
“So, how far have you gotten?”
Xin Lan showed a hint of fatigue when he leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment. “Not far.” Opening his eyes again, he turned to Jinde, looking at him. There still wasn’t that feeling from before as if it had never existed. It did make him wonder if what Xiang Yu and Tian had said was right and he didn’t truly love Jinde and might, in fact, not be able to love at all.
Well, that wasn’t the question right now. “I had a talk with him back in the dragon realm already, saying that I would give him time to think things through. We agreed to return here so he could be with his family, and then maybe travel around a bit. I’m just not sure if it will be enough. When I went to speak with his brother today, he told me that they hadn’t actually told their family. I think Hua Lin Yu doesn’t know himself what he wants right now. He seemed really lost.”
Jinde put on a pensive expression. “I guess it is somewhat normal to get cold feet before a wedding when you are that young. But this really sounds serious. Do you think just giving him more time would be enough?”
“I have no idea. It might be but then again, this was completely unexpected. I thought that it would be a matter of course for us to get married. I thought that there wasn’t even any question about it.
“You don’t know this but from the moment I saw him when he was still a child, he would always hang onto me. He was … attracted to me for whatever reason. As if his whole world might revolve around me. I didn’t go to see him for a few years and it was still very much the same when I came back. I didn’t even think that there was a reason to doubt we would get married.
“And then after spending some time together, I developed feelings myself and wanted to go forward with it. But now …” He shook his head and sighed. “It was completely unexpected. So I can’t guess what is going on in his head or why he suddenly did this. Maybe he really just panicked but then he would’ve told me, right” And when I spoke with him, it rather seemed that he really didn’t want to marry me. I can’t understand. When did this happen? We were spending every single day together.”
Jinde couldn’t help but feel that this was odd as well. “Nothing happened?”
“Well, nothing I can think of. And I’m really not sure how to go about this other than trying to be patient, giving him a bit of time, and hoping that it works out somehow.”
Jinde nodded slowly. “If there’s anything I can do to help you, just tell me. If you want me to speak to him …”
Xin Lan shook his head. “I don’t think that that would work. You don’t know him that well and to be honest, he might feel even more pressured. I’m afraid that this might be a problem with this. Maybe he felt pressured to marry me. Maybe he feels like he’s missing out.
“I don’t know. It would be easier if he talked honestly with me. But I feel like he isn’t in that place yet. I guess I can only see how things go.” He dropped the subject and looked around, trying to find something else to talk about. “So, what do you intend to do after you’re healed now? I think you wanted a child? Have you already decided on when to start?”
Jinde really wasn’t used to Xin Lan being so straightforward about these things. Before this, he rather never would have known and had never really asked for information. He hadn’t understood it back then but he suddenly realized this after he found out how Xin Lan felt about him. To ask him about this now … it had to mean that he really was over this.
Jinde only hesitated for a moment before he reached out and took Leng Jin Yu’s hand. “To be honest, we were thinking of taking a bit of time first. We’ve missed out on quite a few things as a couple over the past years because I was always busy with healing myself. Now, we should just spend time on ourselves. So I guess it’ll be a few years before we attempt anything. I was also thinking that it would make sense to go back to the dragon realm for this.”
Leng Jin Yu looked over, raising his brows in surprise. He hadn’t heard of that particular information before. “The dragon realm? Are you sure that this is a good idea?” While he didn’t need to worry about Jin Ling anymore since he was healed, there were some other problems considering his identity.
Jinde smiled, knowing what it was that Leng Jin Yu was worried about. “I know what you’re thinking. But honestly, it is our best bet. A child will need to be nourished with spiritual energy constantly. If something happens and one of us needs to leave, then it wouldn’t do to have the child be in the mortal realm.
“And you know that this kind of thing can happen. We’ve had it happen before. Even though you told the God of War that you want to stay in the mortal realm, he might have a task for you later on and you might not be willing to say no at that moment. Or maybe Qiu Ling will need my help someday and then I won’t be able to stay here for as long as we need to for the child.
“I just don’t think that it’s worth the risk. It’s better to relocate to the dragon realm for some time and wait there until the child is born. After that, we can return immediately. I’m not trying to force you to stay with me in the immortal realms.”
Leng Jin Yu nodded but it was obvious that he was still worried.
Xin Lan looked from one person to the other and finally cleared his throat. “If you’re worried about other people, you could also stay at my place. It is so far out of reach that it is unlikely for anybody to come by. “You can nurse the child for as long as you need to without being distracted at all.”
Jinde’s gaze lit up while Leng Jin Yu stared at Xin Lan with some doubt. This person … was he still the Xin Lan that he had gotten to know?