With that thought, Hua Lin Yu tugged at Xin Lan’s sleeve and then motioned outside. “How about going to sit down for a while? We’ve been traveling for quite a bit. It’s not like I’m tired but it can’t be wrong to preserve a bit of strength.”
Xin Lan glanced at him, wondering if there was some deeper meaning to it. The smile on Hua Lin Yu’s face suggested that this was indeed the case. While he wasn’t quite sure what he intended, he wouldn’t let go of an opportunity to spend time with him and also make sure that he wouldn’t be able to run into Bai Mu. He grabbed Hua Lin Yu’s hand and then walked outside with him, leading him over to the lake, and sitting down at the edge.
This was also something that Jinde had liked to do. Most likely, he would be doing this with his husband now. Sitting there together, enjoying the light breeze in that dimension, the refreshing feeling of the water at his feet, leaning his head against his shoulder, and just enjoying the time spent together …
Xin Lan’s expression turned a little ugly when he thought of that. He really wished that he could just ignore this and focus on Hua Lin Yu next to him but this place brought back so many memories.
For years, he had watched Jinde pine for Chun Yin. He had seen him take all the blame for those arguments with Chun Yin’s demon wife, hold out for the slightest sign of Chun Yin’s feelings for him, tormenting himself over and over again, until he was absorbed by that loneliness and he finally gave in to the temptation that Jian Heng had put in front of him.
If only … If only he hadn’t been cursed. If only there had been a chance to fall in love with somebody else, then he wouldn’t have ended up like that. But most likely, if he went to ask him now, Jinde would say that it had been worth it. Sure, he probably still missed Chun Yin a little but he was happy with that husband of his. He was satisfied with the life he had gotten even if he had needed to sacrifice a lot and still couldn’t appear in public again yet.
He was satisfied with so little after just gaining the reincarnation of the man he loved. And the worst thing was that this guy was even a human who might or might not stay at his side. Who could guarantee that in a few years, his heart wouldn’t have a change?
Hua Lin Yu looked at Xin Lan’s expression that didn’t seem to get any better and wondered if he had committed another faux-pas. He hesitated for a moment but then reached out, putting his hand on Xin Lan’s arm. “You know, you can tell me if there’s something bothering you. I might not understand everything but I can at least try to do so.”
Xin Lan was pulled out of his thoughts and turned to Hua Lin Yu, his expression a little spooked. Yes, why was he still thinking about this? He should focus on what he had right now. No matter what happened was his Master, it wouldn’t have anything to do with him. He should just … look forward to his own future.
He leaned closer to Hua Lin Yu until his breath brushed over his cheeks. “This place brings back quite a lot of memories. In the future, just stay close to me while we’re here. I feel better that way.”
Hua Lin Yu gave him a long look, trying to figure out whether Xin Lan was saying the truth or not. If he had lived here, it really wouldn’t be out of the ordinary if he had a lot of memories from this place. He wasn’t quite sure if his presence could really make such a big difference though. He felt a little doubtful of that. After all, they hadn’t been together for that long. But then again, maybe that was precisely it. Maybe having somebody at his side that didn’t have to do with all that had happened here really helped Xin Lan calm down and not get lost in his memories.
“If it really makes you feel better, then I will definitely do so.” He reached out and cupped Xin Lan’s cheeks, leaning forward to give him a kiss. “Just tell me if there’s anything else I can do for you. We’re a couple now. We should help each other when we can.”
Xin Lan gave a hum and looked at Hua Lin Yu more deeply. Right, they were a couple now. And just like with his previous lovers, he would definitely treat him well. He had always done that but never expected something in return. Maybe this time, that could be different. Just for once … How nice that would be.
Hua Lin Yu’s smile became a little strained when he was stared at that way but Xin Lan didn’t talk at all. “Is … there something on your mind? I mean something specific you would like to talk about?”
Xin Lan didn’t quite know how to give voice to what he wanted. He lowered his gaze and then reached up to rub Hua Lin Yu’s head. “Not getting married whether it is according to your people’s customs or my people’s customs for the time being doesn’t mean that we can’t get close at all, right?”
Hua Lin Yu raised his brows, not quite sure what they had suddenly arrived at that question. “Of course not. There’s nothing bad about being close. In fact, it’s something I’d be happy about.”
Xin Lan nodded. “Very well. Let’s just … sit here for a while then.” He put his arms around Hua Lin Yu, pulling him up against his chest and enveloping him in a tight hug. He really just wanted to be close to somebody for once. To be loved with all that person had until the dark day that person died.
That kind of experience … It really was something he longed for. And he wouldn’t waste another day to get it.