Li Ming rubbed his forehead and then shook his head at himself once more. He didn’t know what else to say. This was already what it boiled down to. But, of course, he understood that this had to sound strange to Zhao Chen.
His boyfriend gave him a long look but then nodded. “Well, it’s good if it’s just that. I guess that guy has more than enough people who can’t get over him. Would be a pity to add you to that list.”
Li Ming smiled wryly. “I assure you, that’s not it. I … I’m not like brother Linghu in this regard. I wouldn’t even want to get back together if he stood in front of me now. Anyway, I was the one who broke it off and I don’t regret it. If I was in the same situation once again, I’d still do the same.”
Zhao Chen kept quiet for a moment longer but then smiled. “Well, I guess your situations aren’t comparable in that way. I still don’t get it though. Even after brother Linghu said it was his energy, I just couldn’t imagine.”
Li Ming shook his head as if he couldn’t either but, to be honest, he knew exactly what Linghu Jiahao had meant. After all, if not for the fact that he had found out that Mo Fang had manipulated him throughout their relationship, he would have wanted to grow old with him. He simply had that kind of charm.
Li Ming really didn’t want to think about it so he motioned down the street. “Whatever. Let’s not talk about him any longer. It’s gotten late so we should go home. We both have to work tomorrow, after all.”
Zhao Chen gave a hum and the two of them continued to walk together for a bit of the way before it was time to bid farewell. Then, they both returned home, turning in for the night.
Lying in bed, Li Ming couldn’t sleep though. He simply couldn’t calm down. In his mind, he saw Zhao Chen’s expression again when he brought up that he was jealous and then also how he looked at him after his explanation. Clearly, Zhao Chen didn’t believe him when he said that he was over Mo Fang.
Li Ming rolled over onto his stomach and picked up his phone. Holding it in his hands, he hesitated with the screen still switched off though. He wanted to … take a look. Just a short glance. But he knew that he shouldn’t. He was in a new relationship that finally looked like it would go somewhere and there was already trouble because of Mo Fang. Trying to find out more would just end in a disaster.
He persuaded himself and put the phone down again, not even turning it on for a second. Then, he rolled onto his side and faced the other direction. He should just sleep and not think about random things. Anyway, what did it matter if Mo Fang was in a relationship? Whether it was a short one or a long one also wasn’t any of his business. Not to mention that Mo Fang still seemed to be abroad. So really, what was he getting all worked up for?
He quietly lay in the dark and then cursed, pressing his eyes shut. What type of guy might Mo Fang be dating right now? Actually, after sitting at the same table with two guys who had dated him before and also vaguely knowing that Lan Heng through the things he had been told by others, he felt like Mo Fang didn’t have a specific type either.
He opened his eyes again and stared into the darkness around him. Linghu Jiahao had said something this evening … something about not being sure what he was actually looking for.
Mo Fang should be the same. He had never known what he wanted so he chased one guy after the other, just hoping that it would work out. He couldn’t stay alone for long. As soon as he broke up with somebody or the other person broke up with him, he would immediately get a new boyfriend.
He had probably never taken the time to reflect on what had gone wrong. He had never taken the time to heal from whatever disappointment and anger had been left over. Was it really a wonder that he had ended up the way he did?
Not that that made it okay. In fact, thinking about it this way, it hurt even more. After all, this meant that none of those boyfriends had ever really meant something to him. Mo Fang … simply couldn’t stay alone. He might even be afraid to be alone for a longer period of time.
Had it been the same with his current boyfriend? Was he also just …
Li Ming shook his head at himself and finally turned back to the other side, picking up his phone and switching on the screen after all. He opened Weibo and looked for Mo Fang’s profile.
He had blocked his contact back then so Mo Fang wouldn’t continue to try and bother him but he did know that he had his own Weibo page that he would regularly update. As a model, that should be expected. He just didn’t know if he was still doing so after going abroad.
Weibo wasn’t used over there, was it? So maybe now, Mo Fang had a different page on some other international platform and there would be nothing on him here. In that case, he wouldn’t find anything. Well, that might also be good. He shouldn’t be looking in the first place. He was only doing this because he wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise.
Yes, this was only so he could get the facts, calm down, and finally fall asleep. After he knew, he absolutely wouldn’t beat himself up over this. This was simply … sating his curiosity.
He nodded to himself but just then, he finally found the right page. Opening it up, he scrolled down, ignoring the last couple of updates until he found a picture. Then, he could only stare helplessly.