He kept quiet for a moment and then shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think straight at that moment. I was just so worried about you that I only thought of what I could do to save you. Thus, I rushed out immediately without a word. Now that you mention it, I shouldn’t have done that. It would have been better to say something.”
Hua Lin Yu looked at him quietly, torn between believing him and doubt. What Xiao Li said wasn’t impossible but … his heart was in turmoil and his mind continuously flashed the picture of that man in his vision. How could things be so easy?
His brows furrowed and he tried to think of that situation when Xiao Li found out what had happened to him. “Even if you wanted to help, why come here of all places? My Master said it might be dangerous, that this An Rong might be after me. Haven’t you considered that you might put me in even more danger?”
Xiao Li looked at him doubtfully. This was the first time Hua Lin Yu was arguing with him like this. Even after giving an explanation, he still doubted him. It seemed that things really weren’t simple. “I can only say again that I am sorry. I didn’t mean to make trouble. I just wanted to save you.”
Hua Lin Yu wanted to believe him, he really did. After all, this was the man he had loved since the moment he saw him, the one he had spent many months with. How could he be willing to admit that there was a deeper reason why he did so and not just his actual feelings? But no matter what, there were just so many odd things about the current situation. “You didn’t even come to look for me.”
This was probably the most doubtful point. When Xin Lan heard what was going on with him, he immediately rushed to his side, no questions asked. He had stayed with him, quietly talked to him, and led him back simply by being there. Why could Xiao Li not do the same? Why go to another place and search for some kind of herb when he couldn’t even be sure what was wrong with him in the first place?
Xiao Li put on a hurt expression. “Xiao Yu, what’s wrong with you? What are you accusing me of?”
Hua Lin Yu felt a pang in his heart when he saw that expression but it wasn’t the same as before. No, he didn’t feel guilty for doubting him. He didn’t even feel pain. He felt … a sense of alienation. As if he couldn’t understand what he even liked about this person.
He froze, not sure how to react to this. Xiao Li and he had been together for a while. He had sworn up and down that this man was the love of his life. Was all of that supposed to be over just based on some kind of vision? It didn’t seem to make sense. But something just felt so wrong about Xiao Li’s current expression. He couldn’t even say what it was but he felt … that it was revolting. It made him feel lost, empty, and also a little angry. It wasn’t a good feeling.
Xiao Li saw his odd expression and wasn’t sure what to make of it. Usually, Hua Lin Yu should start to forgive him by now at the very latest. What exactly had he seen? He furrowed his brows and lowered his head, finally feeling that he should figure that out first. Maybe then he could really solve it.
Otherwise … hadn’t that Grandmaster Shen and Sect Master Fei mentioned that even the dragon king and Xin Lan might be unable to win over that An Rong? In that case, his current situation still wasn’t hopeless yet.
He narrowed his eyes before he restored his previous expression and looked up again. “Xiao Yu, what did you see in that vision? Could it be that what you’re saying now has to do with that? Is it that you are angry with me because of that vision? Then why not tell me about it? I’m sure we can solve this together, just like we always do.”
Hua Lin Yu furrowed his brows. Yes, all this had indeed started with the vision. The worst thing was that he still wasn’t sure what it meant. “I saw you in that vision.”
Xiao Li nodded. “So it was like that. Did I do anything to anger you in it? I’ll apologize for that!”
Hua Lin Yu shook his head. No, in the vision … that man hadn’t done anything, had he? It was him who … killed him. He was in a daze for a moment when he thought about it but then he told himself that he wasn’t the kind of person who would kill for nothing. No, there should have been something before. Not to mention … that man’s gaze had been so cold, almost as if ridiculing him.
Thinking back to that gaze, his heart erupted in flames of anger. He didn’t know what had happened before but that gaze alone and those taunting words he had spoken made clear it couldn’t be anything good.
Without conscious thought, his mind repeated those few sentences to him: That wasn’t any different. What are you going to do with that? Don’t take it too hard. It’s nothing personal. Are you sure you know how to use that?
Which of them hadn’t dripped with sarcasm? That man looked down on him, he didn’t take him seriously. He had probably never thought that he would indeed swing that blade to behead him. And then … then there was also what he himself had said when he held that head in his hands: I won’t let you break your word again.
Whatever vows had been spoken before, this man hadn’t made true on them. He did not dare to guess what they were but he couldn’t help but think how Xin Lan had always warned him of Xiao Li because he was a demon and they couldn’t love. That kind of person … they were likely to break their vows as well, weren’t they?