What Xiang Yu wanted … Xin Lan only knew too well. After all, the fallen god had told him directly. He wanted a do-over for his trial because his original one had been botched up by meeting that demon who ended up making him fall. He wanted a lover and a happy life and he had wanted him to give that to him.
Xin Lan didn’t even need to think for a moment to figure out what Xiang Yu would want in this situation. No, if he was able to watch while the trial proceeded and comment on it, he would likely scold him for being stupid that he had let this happen. He would hate to see himself with a man that looked just like his husband.
As for knowing the truth or not … If it helped him see that this guy was a good-for-nothing, he’d naturally want to be told just so that he could get rid of him. He likely also wouldn’t mind knowing that it was another trial as long as could get out of it what he had set out to get: a lover who treated him genuinely and made him happy, giving him the life he had wished for.
The problem was that Xin Lan couldn’t care less about all this. He shook his head before he even allowed himself to think it through. “I don’t care what Xiang Yu would want. I’m not in love with him. The one I love is Hua Lin Yu and this is his life so I want to do what is right for him. Screw what Xiang Yu wants.”
Yes, while he had made a deal with that fallen god, his mortal reincarnation Hua Lin Yu was his lover, not Xiang Yu himself. This situation couldn’t be compared with Qiu Ling who was enamored with both of them.
Jing Yi looked from Xin Lan to Qiu Ling and back again before retracting his gaze. In the past, he would have given a lot to hear Qiu Ling say ‘screw what Jing He wants’ even once. Now … well, he knew it wouldn’t happen anymore. And he was surprisingly calm now that he saw another man act the way he wished Qiu Ling had acted.
Qiu Ling had noticed his gaze and shifted in his seat uncomfortably. This really was like Xin Lan holding up a mirror so he could take a deep look at how it was done. But then, he also didn’t need to take this to heart. They were in different situations after all.
Qiu Ling cleared his throat after shaking off the uncomfortable feeling. “Either way, you can’t know what result you will get from telling him or not doing anything. Jing Yi’s situation also isn’t really comparable. Maybe just wait until he returns and then see about it.”
Xin Lan sighed, feeling that maybe this was indeed the only possibility. “Well, there is nothing left to say then.” He got up but still looked at Fei Bai Mu. “You … don’t need to worry too much. I guess as long as he doesn’t recover more memories than this, it should be alright. And he didn’t seem exactly eager to see more.”
Fei Bai Mu nodded. She could imagine that very well. If he had really seen what Xin Lan assumed … that wasn’t something Hua Lin Yu could easily deal with. He had been spoiled while growing up after all. “I hope you are right. Either way, we can only wait and see. Then later on, no matter what happens, we should support him.”
Xin Lan nodded and then motioned to the door. “I’ll go back to the other room. If Xiao Yu comes to find me, I don’t want him to misunderstand.”
Fei Bai Mu nodded and then watched him leave. She sighed when the door had closed behind him and turned to Jing Yi. “I know you can’t say anything about his situation but … it’s not easy, is it?”
Jing Yi shook his head. “It’s not. But then, our situations are different. What I’ve always struggled with …” He hesitated for a moment, glancing at Qiu Ling before he turned back to Fei Bai Mu. “What I struggled with the most was feeling less than as if I was always the second choice only. Your disciple … he clearly isn’t in that situation.”
Fei Bai Mu kept quiet for a moment but then nodded her head. “No, he indeed isn’t in that type of situation.” Just listening to Xin Lan just now made that abundantly clear and she herself … she also preferred the disciple she currently had over that unknown fallen god. And then there were the Hua family members who adored their youngest member more than anyone. So yes, even if Hua Lin Yu found out, he shouldn’t struggle too much with that part of his identity.
Thinking about it this way, she felt reassured but at the same time, there was still some uneasiness in her heart. She couldn’t explain it even to herself. After everything they had talked about, it seemed as if there should be no problem going forward, and yet, she felt as if this wasn’t over yet. Maybe it was because she hadn’t been able to talk this through with Hua Lin Yu yet or because she didn’t know what Xiao Li was going to tell him.
Yes, maybe after he returned from asking Xiao Li, she would finally be able to calm down completely. After all, much relied on the reaction he got to whatever questions he wanted to ask Xiao Li. Until then, there was indeed still reason to worry even though that worry couldn’t change anything.
Fei Bai Mu took a deep breath and then shook her head. “Well, this matter will resolve itself with time. Anyway, it’s not something for you to worry about. Wasn’t there something else you wanted to do? If you want me to, I could still bring you to the Ye Zhong Order. I could probably make it back here in time before Xiao Yu returns so I wouldn’t mind.”
Jing Yi thought for a moment but then shook his head. “No, you don’t know when your disciple will return so it’s better to stay here. Anyway, aren’t there still Xiao Dong and Qiu Ling? I’m sure that between the three of us, we’ll be able to find the sect. Speaking of which though … we should really leave now.” With that, he nodded at Fei Bai Mu, as well as Shen An De and Ai Hua, and then got to his feet so they could go and invite the last person to his little gathering next week.