Xin Lan might have tried to hide his reaction but Hua Lin Yu was right beside him. He at least caught a glimpse of it.
Seeing Xin Lan like this, his own heart squeezed in pain. This was what he had done to him. Because he had behaved the way he did, Xin Lan was now suffering. He hadn’t … no, he had seen it before but being head over heels for Xiao Li, he hadn’t wanted to admit to that.
He hesitated but then cupped Xin Lan’s cheeks and made him look up. “I … I’ll be back in a bit. You just wait here.”
Xin Lan looked at him in confusion, not sure what to make of this. Why would he want him to wait? Why would he come back? He wanted to ask but he was afraid of the answer so he finally just nodded. “Very well.” Anyway, if it was Hua Lin Yu asking, he would never say no.
Hua Lin Yu smiled and then leaned down until their foreheads touched. He had missed Xin Lan a lot and he really wished that he could tell him but it would be selfish to do that before he had completely made up his mind and he didn’t want to be selfish any longer. No, this time, he needed to get behind things and then figure out what to do once and for all.
The two of them stayed like this for a moment until Hua Lin Yu pulled back with a smile.
“Wait for me.” With that, he turned around and left.
Xin Lan continued to sit on the ground, staring at the door blankly. To be honest, he didn’t want to wait. Especially after the way Hua Lin Yu had just bid him farewell, he wanted to accompany him and not leave his side for even a heartbeat. After all, whenever he wasn’t at his side, things tended to go wrong. But unfortunately, he also understood that he needed to be patient.
Sighing to himself, he pulled out his transmission stone and contacted Jinde. Since Qiu Ling had gone through him before, it would be better to let him know that Hua Lin Yu was alright.
Jinde reacted immediately. “How are things down there?”
“Alright. He woke up and …” He glanced over to the door, his expression lost. “I don’t know. He had some kind of vision. Maybe … it’s going to help with our situation.”
Jinde nodded. “That would be good for you.” Although he couldn’t help but think that this sounded a lot like what had happened to Zhong Jing Yi and that really hadn’t worked out all that well. Not to mention … “What are going to do about Zheng Yin though?”
Xin Lan turned back to the transmission stone, not sure how to answer that. He had turned to Zheng Yin after Hua Lin Yu pushed him away for real. It had been his way of taking his mind off things, of simply indulging in the physical pleasure until the pain in his heart and soul dissipated. It had worked … to a degree. But, of course, it wasn’t like the love he felt for Hua Lin Yu.
If his lover was willing to take him back, there was no doubt that he wouldn’t go back to Zheng Yin. Why would he? The reason for why he stayed with him in the first place would have vanished. But yes, that would require some words at least.
Jinde sighed when he saw his reaction. “It’s lucky for you that that boy seems to know exactly where he stands with you. You’re going to hurt him with this though.”
Xin Lan nodded. “I know.” But honestly, he hadn’t cared about that at the time when they started and now … now it wasn’t any different. He would still do it all over again if he was put into the situation once more because only this way would he be there when Qiu Ling contacted Jinde today and only this way could he rush to Hua Lin Yu’s side and gain him back. “Well, let’s wait for how things turn out here first. I’ll explain to him afterward.”
Jinde nodded. “Very well. Then … I shouldn’t disturb you.”
“Mn.” Xin Lan nodded even though there currently wasn’t anything he could disturb and he was the one who had contacted him in the first place. He simply cut the connection, put the transmission stone away, and turned back to look at the door, a faint smile on his lips.
Hua Lin Yu, his Xiao Yu … to think that they might still have a chance after all … Just a while ago, he had almost given up hope. But now, things were finally looking up.
He raised his hands and shook his head. Who knew that things could turn out this way? If he had known, maybe he should have let Hua Lin Yu know the truth from the very beginning. But then again, he might not have believed him or even if he had believed him, the pull of his past life’s obsession might have been stronger and caused him to try and see past whatever had happened at that time, finally wanting to build a future with that Xiao Li.
Thinking of that, Xin Lan’s eyes narrowed. The main problem of that approach was also that he didn’t know enough. He hadn’t cared about Xiang Yu in the way he cared about Hua Lin Yu right now. No, he had only looked into him for the sake of the goals he wanted to achieve. And then, that fallen god had somehow started to have some weird thoughts about his motives, getting in his face every now and then to lecture him.
Throughout all of that, he had only found out that he had been married once to a man of the demon race and then, somehow, he had fallen right there in the demon realm, killing not only his husband but his husband’s whole family in the aftermath. That wasn’t odd to do for a fallen god but as for what had made him fall … he still didn’t know and maybe he would never find out.
Thinking of it like that, maybe it was better that he hadn’t tried to explain from the beginning. There would have been way too many holes he couldn’t fill in after all. Unfortunately, this also meant that he had needed to let Hua Lin Yu see it for himself and that was something he did regret. His lover should not have to suffer like this.