Hua Lin Yu couldn’t help but smile. Xin Lan was always like this: No matter what happened, no matter what he did, he would be willing to make excuses for him. Even killing a person could be explained away.
“I don’t know about that. I didn’t see him do anything bad. I just … I felt so strange. Everything was … a mess. And then I picked up a weapon and …” He couldn’t even say it and just shook his head. Actually, maybe killing that man hadn’t even been the worst. No, much worse was what came afterward but he couldn’t bring himself to mention these things to Xin Lan. Even he should have a bottom line and he didn’t want to cross it.
Xin Lan just gently rubbed his arm. “It’s alright. You know, from what I’ve heard about the fruit of the beguiling night tree, it usually takes something real but … enhances it. It is like a dream you have at night, one that lulls you into a fake version of reality until you can’t distinguish it at all.”
“It did feel real.”
“Yes, because there is likely a real core to it. Did you ever … come close to killing somebody? Or thought about it?”
Hua Lin Yu immediately shook his head.
Xin Lan thought for a moment but then leaned down and cupped his cheeks, making him look up into his eyes. “You know you can tell me. I’m the last person who would judge you. I’m … aggressive, not prone to talking things through, and clearly willing to pick a fight at any time no matter who my opponent is. You can believe me when I tell you that I have killed more than one person in my life and I couldn’t care less if you did either.
“Honestly, if you were to tell me right now that there was somebody getting on your nerves and you wanted them gone, a word would be enough for me to take care of it for you. I’m that type of person. So no, I don’t care if you have killed before or had the thought to do so. You can be honest with me.”
Hua Lin Yu smiled but still shook his head. “I didn’t, that’s what makes this so difficult to accept.” Indeed, he had never even fleetingly thought of killing a person. He had just never needed to. Hadn’t he always been protected? Just as Xin Lan had said: If there had been somebody bothering him, others would have taken care of it. Why would he do so himself? And the vision also hadn’t felt like that.
Xin Lan hesitated but finally nodded. “In that case, it might be something from another life.”
Hua Lin Yu looked up again, his gaze puzzled. “Another life?”
“Mn.” Xin Lan nodded again, not sure if he was doing the right thing. He had seen how this played out with Qiu Ling and Jing Yi. He didn’t want to take the same risk. But he had a rough guess of just what Hua Lin Yu might have seen and with how this had happened, he would likely need the explanation. Also … maybe this could finally stop that craziness with that half-demon.
Yes, even though there was some risk involved, it seemed better to tell him the truth right now. Still, how to go about it was a question difficult to answer. The situation was favorable but it needed tact to make things clear to him. “You know that the dragon king currently has a lover from the mortal realm, right?”
Hua Lin Yu nodded. “He is currently here in the Hei Dian Sect.” In fact, he had just met him and he had mentioned how the fruit of the beguiling night tree had caused trouble in his relationship. Was that what he had meant?
Xin Lan noticed his thoughtful expression and hastily continued to explain. “What you might not know is that this mortal was originally a god from the Nine Heavens. They met and fell in love there but the gods have to do trials in the mortal realm. Thus, he descended.”
“And they got together again?”
“Mn, they did. But when he started to find out about his old life, it caused some problems. I don’t know the full story behind it. Anyway, the current king and I aren’t close. But I do know that it was this interference from his past life that caused their issues.
“Since he was able to remember some parts, don’t you think it’s possible it is the same for you? Maybe what you saw was less of a vision but more of a … memory that you uncovered. Maybe just with a few details altered to fit your current life.”
Hua Lin Yu furrowed his brows. “The man I killed …” He had looked like Xiao Li but he had distinctly felt that he wasn’t. The similarity had been big though. Not just in the way they looked but even in their behavior.
Had the energy from the fruit of the beguiling night tree just imposed Xiao Li’s face and behavior onto whoever it was his past self had killed? Or could it be that there was more to this?
He shook his head and sat up. “I need to speak to Xiao Li.” Yes, he needed to find out the truth. The whole truth. And Xiao Li was the only person who could tell him.
Xin Lan lowered his eyelids, trying to hide the expression in his eyes. He had hoped that telling Hua Lin Yu this could stop his madness regarding that half-demon but now, it seemed that it hadn’t. No, right after finding out, he would still go right back to him, lying in his arms, probably letting that guy soothe him.
“I shouldn’t keep you then.”
He let go of him but he didn’t dare to look at him. If he did … he really wasn’t sure if his heart could take it.