RMN C399 An Understanding He Had Lacked

Yun Bei Fen blinked his eyes in confusion. “He has a name?”

Blue butterfly and Mei Chao Bing looked at him in surprise.

The senior raised her brows, not even sure what to say anymore. In the end, she could only point at her own nose. “Do you think I’m really called blue butterfly?”

Yun Bei Fen still looked at her puzzled and then turned to his senior martial brother. “She isn’t?”

Mei Chao Bing had no idea how his little bunny had even come up with that idea and shook his head. “No, not that I’m aware of. Those are … more like titles that were bestowed upon them by the sect I guess.”

Blue butterfly cleared her throat to pull back their attention. “Actually, those were names we gave ourselves. The sects had nothing to do with it.”

Yun Bei Fen turned back to her, his expression still as curious as before. “Then why blue butterfly?” He had figured that it made for a good name for a child. He hadn’t doubted it for even a moment. With the black warrior, it was a bit different but he could still consider that a name.

Blue butterfly chuckled as if she had certainly heard a very good joke. “Well, originally, I was the one who had the biggest problem coming up with something. You see, when it came to the others, they had a pretty easy time finding something that they wanted to use.

“Your sect’s Tong Chen, he is most famed for his sword arts. Among the four of us, he was definitely the one with the highest attack power and he was also somebody who did not want to be reduced to just his ability. While he was the one who had figured his out the first, it was one that had brought him a lot of pain.

“The name that he was known under wasn’t one he wanted to reflect that. He wanted it to be … himself, something that he cherished about who he was as a person, not as whatever everyone else saw in him. He was sure that one day, he would be known as a seer more than anything else. So he wanted his name to carry the character for ‘warrior’.

“None of us had reason to disagree about that. You see, I might complain that I’m a bit detached from the world but I don’t think it can compare to what the black warrior has gone through. Seeing the future, that is a heavy burden.”

For once, blue butterfly actually looked very serious. When it came to these friends of hers, she really felt for them. Her ability, even though it had brought her pain when she was younger, she was able to deal with it a lot better by now. She wasn’t sure if the same could be said about the black warrior. Whenever she spoke to him, it sure didn’t seem that way.

She shook her head and took a sip of her wine, looking up at the sky. “I guess I don’t need to tell you. That last big thing he foresaw, it was the destruction of his own sect. The place he grew up in, one that he deeply cherishes, and he had to watch its demise.

“It is only one possibility, of course, but it is still likely. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have seen it. But the thing is that whatever he does, he doesn’t know how it will influence the outcome. He can tell others about it but their decisions will then be based on that knowledge. It might influence what happens and it might not be in a good way. In fact, he might create a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

Mei Chao Bing furrowed his brows and couldn’t help but feel that he finally understood the problem with the black warrior’s ability. With blue butterfly, he had actually had an easier time. With the black warrior, he had wondered what the downside could be.

Yes, it was also something that was related to other people but he hadn’t quite figured out how that was able to make somebody unhappy. But now, that she mentioned it, he could see it exactly: If you were able to see the future but there wasn’t a surefire way to prevent the bad things you saw, would that not weigh on your conscience?

You had the ability to change things, simply because you knew about them, but you were always missing that last piece of the puzzle. If it was him, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle it.

Mei Chao Bing’s brows drew further together and he couldn’t help but wonder even more just what kind of ability his Master had gained. Had it also been like that? Then, maybe he understood better now just why things had turned out the way they did.

It really was a pity. With a bit more help from the sect, with a few more people around him, maybe his Master wouldn’t have turned out like this. After all, that seemed to be the difference between his Master and the black warrior: Back then, there had been three people around him that shared the pain of having an ability. Maybe that support had meant that he was able to stay in the sect, to stay true to his own beliefs and his roots. His Master, on the other hand, clearly hadn’t had that.

Back then, maybe his Master had already been such a taciturn person that was difficult to open up to others. And as a result, when he really needed somebody at his side, he wasn’t able to take it. That … As bad as the outcome was, as much as he felt that his Master had made a mistake, he couldn’t say that it wasn’t understandable.

He thought back to the years that he himself had spent in isolation after his Master’s betrayal. Yes, that had been brought about by others. If not for what his Master had done, it wouldn’t have happened. But the truth of the matter was that at that time, nobody had been there for him.

Song Mu had turned his back on him for the sake of his sister. Even though he was willing to forgive him by now, that didn’t mean that it hadn’t hurt at the time and left him reeling. Those people who had always been eager to receive his pointers when his Master was still part of the sect, suddenly, he had seen neither head nor tail of them.

Who had really still been there for him? Among all the people of the sect, there had only been Yun Bei Fen who was unwavering in his support.

As for the Sect Master who had been somewhat of a support back then, he realized now that part of that had been guilt. All those years, Zhang Guan Yu had suspected him of being a traitor, as the one who would bring about the downfall of the sect. Now, he was merely trying to make up for that.

He really couldn’t say that this was a person that had supported him in the way he might have needed. And also, he couldn’t just rely on the Sect Master. That wasn’t the same as the people of his own generation.

So yes, he somewhat understood what his Master might’ve gone through. It didn’t excuse anything, but it did give him an understanding he had lacked before.

« ToC »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s