Just when Qiu Ling arrived at the doors of the library, Jinde threw down one of the books, raking a hand through his hair and groaning. Qiu Ling stopped in his tracks, wondering if he was interrupting something.
Leng Jin Yu looked up from the scroll he had been reading, raising his brows. “Nothing yet?” When it came to matters like the problem that Xin Lan had, he couldn’t help but in regard to Qiu Ling’s situation, things were different so he was reading through the materials in the library as well.
Thanks to his own past life, he knew as much about the dragons as somebody who had been born one, save for some details regarding how things were currently in the realm. And thanks to his current life, he was also a lot more studious than Chun Yin had been so it wasn’t a problem to support Jinde in this. But even with the two of them together, so far, they hadn’t really made any progress and it seemed that Jinde was just shy of reaching his breaking point.
Jinde shook his head, lowering his hand and looking at his husband. “This matter, I don’t think we will find a solution anytime soon. And to be honest, don’t even mention Jing He waking up, it would already be enough if we could just help Qiu Ling somehow. But I don’t even know where to begin. This kind of thing is always a delicate situation and I’m afraid that this will need much more time and effort than anything else we’ve tried to do in the past. I’m not sure if we’re up to par here.”
Leng Jin Yu nodded, not feeling that this was a surprise. He remembered how he had been when he had left the capital city back then. His soul had been bound to Jinde’s, and then they separated out of his own volition. As a result, he weakened further and further. That was one of the reasons why Biao Han had been able to kill him in the end.
If Jinde had still been around, even if they couldn’t see eye to eye because of their circumstances, he would have done better. But to be without your soul-bound partner, that was torturous. And to imagine that that person might not only be far away because you had separated for their own good but that they might be gone forever from this world … He couldn’t even begin with that.
Jinde picked up the next book that he had pulled off one of the shelves before, hoping to find a solution. He didn’t open it immediately though and instead looked at his husband. “You know, maybe we should wait.”
Leng Jin Yu who had just turned back to the scroll looked back up, not a doubt in mind what Jinde was talking about. The thought had crossed his mind as well. “I think that might be for the best. Having another child while our first one is in such a precarious situation would just be wrong. Anyway, it’s not that we’d never have one, just that … it’ll take some more time.”
Jinde nodded, his throat constricting. “I feel like this is the first time I’ve heard your call Qiu Ling ‘our child’ instead of just yours.”
Leng Jin Yu gave a huff and raised the scroll again, shaking his head. “So you say but I bet he has always seen you as more of a parent than me. Whether it’s in this life or the last. Well, in this life probably even more so than in the last but it figures. Anyway, yes, let’s not rush anything.”
In front of the door, Qiu Ling closed his eyes. He had walked in pretty much at the beginning of the conversation so he knew what this was about. Hearing this … he didn’t know where to feel about it.
On the one hand, he was more than happy to hear himself be called their child. And he also couldn’t help but feel warm when he heard that they would even postpone having the child they had wanted for his sake. But on the other hand, he also couldn’t help but feel guilty.
Back then, his father had separated from Jinde because of him. If not for his mother being pregnant, he would have gotten back together with Jinde and kicked her to the curb without a second thought. Which really, that would have been the better decision. But because of that child, he had decided to stay with her.
And now, the child that they finally wanted to have together … was it supposed to once again be an afterthought? No, he didn’t want that for them. These two … even though he wasn’t related by blood to either of them, they were his family. And yes, he probably saw Jinde as a bit more of a parental figure than he regarded Leng Jin Yu as one because he knew him from when he had still been a child but he did feel that both of them were family. And he couldn’t do that to his family. He just couldn’t.
Thinking of that, he closed the door behind him with an audible thud before he walked over and leaned against one of the shelves. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he gave the two of them a smile. “You know what? If I’m going crazy and might even die as a result, it would be nice if the two of you could get moving and finally have that sibling of mine. If you wait even longer, it might be too late. And I’d really like to get to know them so … just set a date.”
Despite mentioning the possibility of his death, he looked completely at ease saying this. But Jinde knew him better than that. He got up and walked over, pulling Qiu Ling into his arms. “Oh, child, don’t say such things. No matter when we have that child, you’ll definitely be around to see them grow up. I’m not letting you get away that easily.”
Qiu Ling smiled and hugged him back, closing his eyes while he buried his face in Jinde’s hair. This … was indeed the feeling of having a family. After all this time and after everything that had gone wrong, regaining this was probably the best thing that had come out of this trial that he had shared with Jing He. Even if things were to come to an end, he would never regret this part. Never.