Li Ming hurried to put on his clothes and then closed his locker, rushing out of the changing room at the railroad station. He glanced in both directions before he ran in the one away from the service counters.
He went home on another way than yesterday, taking a couple of turns he usually wouldn’t, and then even went to a supermarket we had only been buying groceries at a couple of times. Having done that, he finally made his way home, glancing around furtively a few times when he entered the neighborhood to make sure that he didn’t run into Mo Fang.
As it turned out, Mo Fang hadn’t been as good of a partner as he had thought but he was even worse to have as an ex. Actually, he hadn’t thought that this would be a problem. After the first awkward moment of seeing each other again where he finally told him face-to-face that it was over and that he didn’t want to get back together, he had thought that that would be it.
In any case, he had seen how things had ended between Mo Fang and Lan Heng. Mo Fang hadn’t wanted to see him at all. After thinking about it for a while, he was pretty sure that that part at least was true. Because while Mo Fang might be able to act like a different person, he couldn’t make Lan Heng do the same for him, right? And whether it was Si Tao or Bian Huan, both had expressed a strong dislike for the guy. He was pretty sure that there was a reason for that. So no matter what, at least that break-up should have been true.
Now, he had thought that their own breakup would be the same: deciding that they didn’t want to be together anymore and then just both going their own way, neither side bothering the other. But oh, he had been so wrong!
Li Ming finally reached the door of his apartment and heaved a sigh of relief when Mo Fang wasn’t waiting in front of the door again. He hastily let himself in and closed the door behind him again, immediately carrying his groceries into the kitchen. He put them down on the table and then just sat down, rubbing his forehead.
He kind of dreaded to do it but he still pulled out his phone, switching on the screen only to see that he had twenty-five unread messages, all from the same number. He sighed again and put his phone down, wondering just how long Mo Fang wanted to keep this up.
By now, it had been two months. He really would’ve liked to use this time to heal from what had happened and then not think about dating for a while, and maybe one day, he would meet somebody who was genuinely sweet and not just pretending to be, somebody who he could really have the life with that he wanted. But Mo Fang just wouldn’t leave him alone and to be honest, that was really making things difficult.
He pushed himself up and started to put the groceries away, trying not to think of the past. Unfortunately, he really didn’t have the mental fortitude. He had been happy with him. And even though he realized that probably nothing of that had been real, it still didn’t change the fact that he had been madly in love with him. And to see Mo Fang try so hard to get him back was not making things any easier. How was he supposed to get over it this way?
He closed the door of the fridge and then went to sit down at the table again, picking up his phone and clicking on the messages despite better knowledge.
He scrolled through him, not sure what to think about a single one of them. At first, Mo Fang’s messages had all been just apologies, telling him that he hadn’t wanted to lie, that there had been reasons, that he wanted to talk, all these things. Then, other things had slowly made their way in there: A ‘good morning’ when they both had the early shift, a ‘good night’ if he knew that Li Ming would go to sleep early, and sometimes even some small news.
Throughout all this time, Mo Fang had actually continued to work at the railroad station, using the opportunity to get close. It was aggravating.
The messages today weren’t any different. In fact, they were probably worse. Just last week, Mo Fang had very excitedly messaged him that he had started a cooking course.
At first, Li Ming had had no idea why but after a while, he figured out that Mo Fang was probably trying to relate to him on some kind of level. He had probably hoped that this would get them closer together again.
After all, sharing a hobby was something that could help a lot of couples grow. They had also cooked together once, a very sweet memory they shared. Making him think of the good times like this that they had had in the past was clearly something that Mo Fang would be happy to do.
Li Ming reached the last message, one that was actually a photo of a peculiar-looking dish that Mo Fang had made, and felt a major headache.
He should probably just block him. He knew that he should. But it just … it seemed so wrong somehow. He didn’t want this to happen but it just didn’t seem right. He couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He knew that this was probably because, deep down, he still hadn’t managed to come to terms with all of this. Even after these two months, even after all the apologies, he still didn’t understand why Mo Fang had done all this. And that was why he had such a hard time letting go.
Well, that and the harassment from his ex-boyfriend. It really would’ve helped to have some time to himself. But by now, it was already clear that he wouldn’t get that if he didn’t take some drastic measures. And for the time being, he really wasn’t sure if he was able to do that.