Back in the mortal realm, Hua Lin Yu was sitting in his room, holding the earring that Xin Lan had gifted him. Since the day Xin Lan had convinced him to take it after all, he had always worn it, not taking it off even once.
He had even started to use it because it was so practical, proving how much thought Xin Lan had invested into this. Storing things in there was much too easy and it was simple to carry around. It was mostly hidden beneath his hair as well so nobody would ask any questions. For the time being though, he had never used the transmission stone embedded in it. Now, he was pondering if he should.
What Hua Lin Rong had said had made him reconsider his actions. At that moment, he hadn’t meant anything bad by it. And even though his brother probably thought badly of him for what he had done, he was still sure that his intentions hadn’t been bad.
He hadn’t thought that Xin Lan would react like this. And even though he had hurt him, he still didn’t think that it would have changed anything between them if he had seen. It was just that at that time, he had finally decided for sure that he wanted to go forward as a couple together. And most likely, he had wanted to take down even the last barrier between them as a symbol of that.
He realized now that he had been wrong. Even though his intentions had been good, he had hurt the person he loved. That was something that he had still failed to realize even when Xin Lan walked out. Clearly, when it came to knowing each other, Xin Lan was much better at reading him than he was reading Xin Lan.
Even back in the spirit beasts’ territory, he had needed quite some time to understand that Xin Lan had become jealous of Wu Ya when they spent so much time together and he had taken joy in listening to his stories. As his fiance, he should have been able to realize that at just one glance, shouldn’t he? But even after traveling together for so long, he couldn’t do it.
Was it really that his heart was not in? Thinking about that, he wasn’t sure how to feel. He did think that he loved Xin Lan. When they were together, he felt safe and comfortable and he could imagine spending his life with him. He had no trouble doing that at all. Whether it was together with his family in the mortal realm or Xin Lan’s place in the dragon realm or anywhere else really, he could see it. He was sure that they would be happy too.
Since that was the case, that had to mean that he loved him, right? And to be honest, in moments like back in the spirit beasts’ territory when he was confronted with Xin Lan’s feeling, he felt bashful. His heart would thump like crazy and he wouldn’t even be able to look at him because he just couldn’t take it. Not in a bad way but in a way where he wouldn’t know where to look but at his hands because Xin Lan meant so much to him. That was love, wasn’t it?
But even despite all that, there were still so many problems. So maybe the love that was there wasn’t enough. He wasn’t sure about it. He also didn’t know who to ask. He felt like his brother was more and more against his relationship with Xin Lan. And he couldn’t talk about it with Xin Lan without hurting him.
But who else was there? His parents and grandparents … he felt like it wouldn’t be good to ask them either. Maybe there would still be his Master but she had never been in any relationship herself as far as he knew. He didn’t think that she would be able to tell him anything valuable.
He really didn’t know where else to go though. His senior martial brothers and senior martial sisters maybe. But then they might want to get involved in his relationship. They were a nosy bunch after all. Especially when it came to him.
He sighed and rubbed the earring, thinking back to the moment when Xin Lan had originally given it to him. He had panicked back then but he still remembered it vividly. Now, he really wished that his feelings had been different back then, that he had just accepted the proposal immediately. Then they wouldn’t be in this situation.
Well, no matter what, he needed to decide if he wanted to contact Xin Lan. It had been quite some time. If Xin Lan went back to the immortal realms, then it wouldn’t be that much but he would still like to know if he was alright and if he had already forgiven him.
He raised his hand and his spiritual energy flickered but he finally didn’t touch the earring. Instead, he sighed and lowered his hand again before putting the jewelry back onto his ear. Then he got up and went to find Wu Ya.
In any case, Xin Lan would return on his own. The spiritual beasts would tell him that he was here and then he would come to speak to him. His big brother would talk to him first so he would know that he hadn’t meant anything bad by it.
After all that, they would be able to have a talk without a problem. Yes, going about things this way was certainly for the best. He shouldn’t rush into anything. It was better if Xin Lan had more time to calm down. He didn’t want to see him angry. He just wanted things to be like before where they had gotten along easily, with no troubles to be seen. Yes, that would certainly be nice.
Imagining that, Hua Lin Yu sighed to himself and then knocked on Wu Ya’s door. In any case, it should still be quite a few days before Xin Lan returned no matter where he had originally gone. That was something that he would have to live with.