Rui Lan brushed through his hair, wondering what exactly he should say. He really believed that there wasn’t anything that he could do. In any case, it wasn’t like he could teach Li Ming some tricks on how to perform better in bed. He could at most try to calm him down. But that was also not that easy. After all, Li Ming wasn’t worrying without reason. Mo Fang had indeed had quite a few partners already. That meant that he was able to compare. For some people, that thought really was vexing. After pondering for a while, Rui Lan finally knocked on the table. “You are seeing this completely wrong.”
Li Ming raised his brows, not quite sure what Rui Lan meant. “How so?”
“You are thinking that because he has had so many partners before, he’ll think you’re not good enough. But think about it: With all these guys he’s been sleeping with, there are bound to be guys that were worse than you. Even if you’re not the best, you’ll not be the worst either. I’d say that considering that you have some experience at least, you’ll at least be in the middle-field.”
Li Ming stared at him, not sure what to think. It wasn’t that Rui Lan was wrong … but it really wasn’t easy to think of it like this. In any case, Mo Fang had told him about a few of his previous boyfriends but he also hadn’t mentioned that many and they had never talked about them in regard to that topic. Thus, he couldn’t say for sure whether or not there had been some about whose performance Mo Fang really wasn’t happy. But come to think of it … “Do you think I should just ask him? About his experiences, I mean.”
Rui Lan scrunched up his face. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean I probably wouldn’t ask my girlfriend it.” He wasn’t sure if it was any different in gay relationships though. Maybe things were different between two men? In any case, he definitely wouldn’t want to hear his girlfriend talk about how other guys were in bed. It would be such a downer. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to get rid of those thoughts.
When Rui Lan mentioned that, Li Ming also started to doubt the idea again. Maybe it really wasn’t a good idea to speak about it. Even though he felt like Mo Fang would probably be willing to answer that kind of question, he also wasn’t sure if he would indeed be able to deal with the answer. If he couldn’t … then he would only have himself to blame. So, yes, maybe it would indeed be better not to try. If he didn’t do it, nothing would happen, but if he tried, it could go wrong. He knew which option was safer.
Unfortunately, this brought him back to square one. He did realize that Rui Lan was probably right. It was unlikely that he would be the worst that Mo Fang had ever had. But in any case, he was still a little anxious about it. After all, where there was a lot of comparison, things might seem worse than they were.
He sighed and leaned back, rubbing his face. “I’m sorry that I even asked about this. I know you probably also can’t help me. I just thought that maybe you have some kind of idea what I could do.”
Rui Lan could only press his lips together, looking a little apologetic. He knew that Li Ming had hoped for that. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have called him out here. “In any case, you haven’t been together for long. Won’t there be a little more time until things happen?”
Li Ming sighed in response. “Well, if this was just about me, then you’d be right. I don’t mind waiting. But Mo Fang seems to be a little different. I think he feels a bit like I’m pushing him away. Like I’m not taking him seriously enough. I think that physical closeness is something that is very important to him.”
Rui Lan nodded, not surprised at all. In any case, with how he had seen Mo Fang jump from one relationship into the other, he really didn’t think that he would want to take his time with this kind of thing. He’d either go for it immediately or nothing would happen at all with these guys. And something told him that Mo Fang was not the type to just go without for too long. “He’s putting quite a bit of pressure on you, isn’t he? Are you sure this is the right thing for you?”
Li Ming smiled and his expression softened immediately. “This is definitely the right thing. I really love him. There are just some things that we need to communicate a bit more about. In regard to this … it’s a bit difficult because we have different needs and finding a compromise won’t be easy. I also know that.
“I won’t be pressured into anything but I also don’t want to make him wait forever. So I am trying to slowly bridge the gap. In any case, there are a lot of things you can do before sleeping with each other. I think that as long as I’m willing to show him physically as well that I am into him and that I’m serious about this, he wouldn’t mind too much. It’s not like he’s incapable of waiting.”
Rui Lan gave a hum and raised his brows, picking up the bottle of beer again and taking another gulp. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that, but you’ll have to know that on your own. In any case, if you can take some more time, do it. Make sure you won’t regret this.”
Li Ming shook his head at him but didn’t bother to say anything. In any case, he had told Rui Lan more than once that he was sure about this relationship. There were just some minor differences that they would have to overcome as a couple. But when they did, it would just make their relationship stronger. He was sure of that.