Roulette Saturday fell on Oh. My. Fate?! again so here are an additional two chapters for you!
After finishing his talk with An Bai and Xiang Yong, Qiu Ling returned to the room where Jing Yi was still sitting and reading the books. He stopped in the doorway and watched him for a moment, actually feeling a bit better than before. As it seemed, talking with somebody else about his problems was really helpful. He smiled faintly and then went over, reaching down and giving Jing Yi a hug from behind. “I’m sorry.”
Jing Yi hadn’t noticed that Qiu Ling came in and turned around with a surprised expression, not quite sure what to think of this. “What do you mean?” Even though their general situation was a little tense, it also couldn’t be called Qiu Ling’s fault. In any case, there was nothing he could do about it.
Qiu Ling continued to hold onto him, his brows slightly furrowing. “These last few days … I was a bit muddleheaded. All the time, I was having a guilty conscience towards either Jing He or you. And because of that, I guess I wasn’t quite like usual and that probably made you feel neglected and maybe even scared because of the current situation. I’m sorry about that. It shouldn’t have happened.”
Jing Yi’s expression became difficult at that. He definitely wished that things could go back to how they had been before. That they could just spend every single day together, being the happy couple they had originally started out as. But he also knew that with the situation they were in that wouldn’t be possible. To have Qiu Ling say something like this now actually gave him a bit of hope but thinking about it further, he knew that it also wouldn’t change anything.
“Even if you say so, it won’t change the heart of the matter. There’s still no way for Jing He and me to exist at the same time. There’s no way for him to wake up before I die. It’s not that I don’t understand that. So I know why you are feeling conflicted.”
Qiu Ling let go of him, pulled the other chair over, and then sat down in front of him. He reached out and took his hands, looking at them thoughtfully. “It can indeed not be changed. But even though that is the case, that still doesn’t excuse my behavior. You’re my lover. In the very same way that Jing He is my lover. Even if he can’t wake up while you are alive, that doesn’t mean that I can just be like this toward you. Since we’re a couple, I should treat you right.”
Jing Yi looked up at him, still not quite sure what to think about it. “And what about Jing He?” In any case, this was always what it boiled down to, wasn’t it?
Qiu Ling smiled faintly. “Jing He … I will explain to him when he wakes up, no matter when that is. In any case, this is his trial, you are his reincarnation. I am sure that he will be able to understand.”
Jing Yi still didn’t quite dare to believe this. This had probably been going on for far too long so he didn’t believe that Qiu Ling would really be able to just come to terms with it like this. After all, even a millennium ago in the mortal realm, they had already been arguing about this. Because of Jing He, there were things that Qiu Ling refused to do. Marrying him had been the first one, teaching him how to fight the second one. There were quite a few things where Qiu Ling had decided against him. He really didn’t think that that would suddenly change. So why would he now suddenly change his behavior? He really couldn’t imagine that.
Qiu Ling smiled faintly when he saw Jing Yi’s expression. “I know you can’t believe it right now. It’s no wonder after how I behaved. In any case, it’s alright. Just take your time. After all, I also took my sweet time coming to terms with this. Why shouldn’t you have the same right? But in any case, I will show you that I am serious about this. It might take a bit longer until the two of us manage to settle into a routine here in the Nine Heavens but I am sure that it is possible. I want to work on this together. As a couple, I’m sure that we can make this work together. That is what being a couple is all about, isn’t it?”
Jing Yi gave a faint hum. What Qiu Ling was saying there did indeed sound quite good. He wasn’t sure if he could trust it yet but at the very least, it sounded a little better than before. He squeezed Qiu Ling’s hands and leaned forward, looking into his eyes. “If that is the case, then don’t keep anything else from me, alright? No matter what happens, I want to know. You don’t have to explain much but at least tell me if something happens.”
Qiu Ling was confused at first and needed a moment until he realized that Jing Yi was talking about this matter with his father. He didn’t want to be left out. Realizing this, Qiu Ling nodded. “I promise you. I’ll definitely do so. Although … are you sure that you really want to know everything? Here in the Nine Heavens, there are quite a few places that connect me with Jing He. Hearing that … might upset you.”
Jing Yi smiled, pulled his hands out of Qiu Ling’s, and then hugged him. “I’m not that fragile. In any case, telling me the truth is still the better option compared to me making up something on my own. I’d rather hear it from you.”
Qiu Ling nodded and hugged him back. “Alright. Then I will tell you in the future no matter what it is that I encounter. If you change your mind about it, you can always tell me though. I will not insist on anything.”
Jing Yi smiled. “Don’t worry. I definitely won’t.” In any case, knowing was much better than not knowing. Because only if he knew could he decide how to deal with it. And that was what he needed to do right now.