The two of them texted for a while longer until Mo Fang excused himself to go and take care of ‘some things’. At the very least, that was the excuse he gave Li Ming. In actual fact, he just didn’t want to seem too needy. He was afraid that that would scare Li Ming off.
Originally, Li Ming didn’t have a problem with that. But after the last message had been sent and he went on to go about his usual day, he just couldn’t help but check his phone every few minutes as if he was hoping that Mo Fang had actually messaged him again.
Catching himself looking at his phone for the second time in just one minute, Li Ming put a hand to his forehead and shook his head at himself. “Li Ming, what are you doing? You just told him yourself today that you need some time to figure this out. If you’re going to behave like this, then why did you even ask for that?”
Honestly, he still thought that it was better to make sure first but he couldn’t help but feel stupid at the same time. Looking at how they had gotten along the last few days, how he couldn’t help but be attracted to Mo Fang, how they could talk about almost anything despite only having met just recently, and also how he had reacted to his kiss, there shouldn’t have been any doubt in his mind at that moment. Why had he hesitated? He was probably just overthinking things.
Sorting through his laundry, he wondered how things would be tomorrow. They would meet up in the morning and then go out for a jog, spend more time together, maybe even go on a date afterward …
Actually, should he go on a date if he was taking time to think things through? Or maybe he should tell him that he had finished thinking it through? That was really …
Li Ming stopped in his tracks when he noticed the shirt in his hands. This was what Mo Fang had worn in the morning. After the jog, he had changed into his own clothes and then left both the shirt and the pants in the bathroom to deal with that later. Now, he had actually moved out so Li Ming took care of it on his own.
“If we were living together, this is probably how it would be every day.” Thinking of that, there was actually a fuzzy feeling in his chest. He really liked being with somebody and taking care of them. It was probably why he enjoyed cooking and also part of the reason why he had finally become a security guard.
He really wanted to help people. He had always wanted to do that. And being in a relationship was nice. The closeness, the affection you could show each other, how you weren’t just alone with your thoughts but had somebody to talk about and spend your time with, how you could explore new things together … Yeah, he missed that.
And with Mo Fang … He was pretty sure that it would be amazing. From the bit that he had seen so far from him, Mo Fang was gentle with others but could also be a really fun person to be around. He was humorous and didn’t mind showing that but at the same time, he was also very empathetic. Mo Fang was probably everything he wished for in a boyfriend.
“I’m an idiot.” This was the second time he told himself that today but the reason was a completely different one this time. The first time, he had actually thought he had taken advantage of Mo Fang. Now, he realized that he had actually messed things up for himself.
“Any person that would hesitate when a gorgeous person like Mo Fang tells them that he’s attracted to them and asks them to go out with him would be an idiot to say no if they felt even the slightest bit of attraction back. How could I do that?”
He shook his head at himself and then continued to take care of the laundry, deeply regretting it. And the worst thing was that now that he had said he needed a bit more time, it would be awkward to just tell Mo Fang he had reconsidered. He would look completely indecisive.
Then again, he really was indecisive. Maybe it would be better to admit to that now than to wait for things to go any further. And anyway, Mo Fang was waiting for him to make up his mind. If he did so earlier, then that would probably be for the best.
He took out his phone again and looked at the messages once again, reading through all of them with a smile on his lips. Maybe he should tell him immediately. But then again, Mo Fang had said that there were some things he had to take care of. He would probably bother him. But he really wanted to hear his voice. Maybe they could actually meet up in the evening today already?
He sighed and forcefully put his phone away, leaving the bathroom to go and prepare dinner. It wasn’t actually time yet but he might as well do it now. Anyway, he needed something to occupy his hands and, hopefully, his mind, or this would continue to haunt him.
As a result, half an hour later, Li Ming looked at the bowl of stew in front of him with a disgusted expression. Really, so much for keeping both his hands and his mind occupied. Obviously, while his hands had been occupied with making the stew, his mind had still been lingering on Mo Fang.
Adding salt twice was such a beginner’s mistake. Thankfully, Mo Fang wasn’t here to eat with him or his confidence in his skills would really take a plummet. Should he ever get the opportunity to cook for him again, he had to make sure that he was actually there with his thoughts and didn’t embarrass himself.