Xin Lan stopped in his tracks and stared at the fallen god in a daze. Xiang Yu was still wearing the robe Jinde had given him but he had taken off the jewelry covering up the Mark of Wisdom at some point, exposing this sign that was proof of his identity as a fallen god.

As long as he didn’t focus on the black mark, Xin Lan had to admit that Xiang Yu looked like a beautiful youth. His figure showed a hint of fragility as he quietly lay there, one hand hanging from the side of the daybed while the other was loosely draped over his body. It was a peaceful image that he could have looked at for a long time.

Of course, this picture was marred by the fact that this was his home which Xiang Yu really had no business being in, and that this damned fallen god had vanished two days ago and simply stayed here instead of coming back and telling them what he had found out. Thinking about it this way, he should actually be angry at him!

Xin Lan’s brows indeed furrowed as he thought about it and he directly walked over, shaking his shoulder. “Wake up!” He’d really like to hear just what Xiang Yu had to say in his defense. Breaking into his home was one thing. To be honest, he hardly expected anything else from this guy. But just disappearing like that? That wasn’t alright! Didn’t he realize that people were worried about him?

Xiang Yu didn’t react so Xin Lan shook him once again. “Wake up already! Do you have any idea that people were worried about you?!” Of course, he wouldn’t admit that one of those people had been him and simply let Xiang Yu assume.

Well, at the very least, that was what he intended to do. But even after shaking Xiang Yu for the second time, the fallen god didn’t open his eyes. He simply continued to lie on the daybed quietly as if he hadn’t noticed him at all.

Xin Lan stared at him and finally realized that something was wrong. With the senses of a fallen god, he should be easy to wake up and yet, he hadn’t moved at all. Usually, Xiang Yu should have opened his eyes by now and then erupted considering how quick to anger he normally was but it seemed as if he had neither noticed when he came in, nor when he shook him or raised his voice. This … absolutely wasn’t normal.

His heart raced and he shook his shoulder again, this time a lot gentler than before as if he was afraid to hurt him. “Xiang Yu?” Even his voice lowered unconsciously. Maybe this was counterproductive but he couldn’t help himself. He suddenly felt a sense of dread coming over him. He should have realized earlier but … Xiang Yu wasn’t moving at all. He wasn’t just silently lying there, he was lying there … as if dead.

Xin Lan gulped, his mind very unhelpfully conjuring up the memory of Hua Lin Yu dying in his arms. At that time, they had still spoken just a moment earlier and then, he felt his lover take his last breath and finally lay still. Xiang Yu now … didn’t look much different.

Xin Lan took a shaky breath and glanced at Xiang Yu’s chest but it didn’t move now either. Not wanting to believe it, he raised his hand next, checking under his nose but couldn’t feel the slightest air current. He really wasn’t breathing.

Xin Lan’s hand shook and he hastily retracted it. Just what was happening? It couldn’t be that Xiang Yu was … dead, right? He gulped again and slowly sank to his knees next to the daybed, shaking him once again as if this would help at all. When nothing happened, he simply pulled him closer, staring at the familiar face blankly.

He didn’t love Xiang Yu. Not in the way he had loved his reincarnation, Hua Lin Yu. At most, he had felt some physical attraction toward him and had been asking himself whether more was possible based on their shared memories of that trial. Still, it had been far from love. For all it was worth, he shouldn’t feel so … distraught.

What did it matter to him if this fallen god was done? They had no connection, no mutual feelings, maybe not even a future where all that may change. At most, this had been a fleeting thought, one kept for another day when everything else had been dealt with satisfactorily. So why … why did his heart hurt so much?

He pulled Xiang Yu tightly into his arms, once again reminded of the way he had held Hua Lin Yu at that time. He reached up, his fingertips brushing over his cheek, for the first time feeling the soft skin that was rather similar to Hua Lin Yu’s.

Looking at him like this, Xiang Yu seemed even younger than usual and oh so peaceful as if there had been no disastrous past that shattered his soul, no millennia as a fallen god, no arguments between the two of them. Yes, he seemed like he would be the docile type who just wanted to snuggle up to his lover, listen to him telling stories of the past, and bask in the feelings they shared. Maybe once upon a time, he had been precisely that type of person but he would never find out.

Xin Lan leaned closer until their foreheads touched, feeling uncomfortable all over. He had still been thinking about him and what he wanted to do about him in the future just a few minutes ago but now … it was already too late. The choice had been taken from him, making him feel an emptiness inside that had already engulfed him after Hua Lin Yu’s death.

Lost. He simply felt lost and he didn’t know how to find a new direction. Now, that seemed even more impossible than it had just an hour ago.