RSH Stratagem 43: Be a Little Daring (3)

Qiu Ling looked at him and his own heartbeat picked up. He couldn’t help it. He could roughly guess where Jing He was looking and they were close, very close. Not to mention that right now, Jing He was sober and should be in a good state of mind. It was precisely the kind of situation that seemed suitable for deepening the connection.

He gazed at his face for a moment and finally leaned forward, quickly pecking his lips before backing up.

Jing He gave a sound of surprise, his eyes darting back up.

Qiu Ling looked at him, quietly requiting that gaze. “I apologize. That was … inappropriate.” He didn’t look apologetic though.

Jing He stared at him, unsure what to say. Usually, saying that it was inappropriate was what he did but now, Qiu Ling had already said the words. What was there left for him to say? Should he just nod to affirm? But that seemed impolite.

He was at a loss and could only look at him in confusion which did nothing to dispel the mood between them that suddenly seemed to have become even more ambiguous.

Qiu Ling watched the flush on Jing He’s cheeks deepen and leaned in again, this time brushing his cheek with his lips. At the same time, he changed his grip on his hands, interlacing their fingers.

Jing He’s lips parted and he took a faint breath. Qiu Ling had kissed him before. In fact, he had done quite a few outrageous things over the years. But with how long he had needed to figure out his own feelings, it hadn’t felt like this at the beginning. No, right now seemed special somehow.

Qiu Ling’s gaze deepened. He knew he had to tread carefully still but … this opportunity was a bit too good to let go of? He hesitated for just a moment and then aimed at the corner of Jing He’s mouth, placing another kiss there before he tilted his head to the side. “I’m sorry. I got carried away for a moment.” He whispered the words into his ears and still didn’t let go of his hands, holding them gently.

Jing He closed his eyes, tilting his head upward. He knew he should say something to discourage this but, actually, he wanted him to continue. He wanted to know … just how it would feel if Qiu Ling went any further. What would he do? When would he stop? Would he even?

His grip on Qiu Ling’s hands tightened without him even noticing and his eyes misted over. Right now, he should push him away. The thought occurred to him but he didn’t follow through. There was no strength in his body anyway and no desire to try and regain it.

Qiu Ling stood motionless, giving Jing He time to adjust. He could hear his breath that was slightly out of order and carefully hung his head, making sure that Jing He couldn’t see the faint smile contained in his eyes.

A minute or two passed by until Jing He managed to wrest back control of his thoughts. He took a deep breath and finally freed his hands from Qiu Ling’s grasp. “I … I don’t think we should …”

Qiu Ling pulled back and turned his face to him again, waiting for the rest of the words. They didn’t come though.

Jing He stopped when their gazes met and his breath hitched again. Just now … thankfully, nobody had seen. But then, Qiu Ling knew what had happened. He knew that he hadn’t protested, that he had simply let him do that, and had hardly been able to control himself afterward.

He hung his head in shame when the thought hit him and he tightly clasped his hands together, his body tensing. “Tomorrow … maybe we shouldn’t go out together.”

Qiu Ling’s brows faintly furrowed together. That wasn’t the effect he had wanted to see. He shook his head and then reached up, cupping Jing He’s cheek and brushing over his skin with his thumb. “Don’t think too much. That was my fault just now. I …” He tried to look for a good excuse but couldn’t find one. Well, in that case, he should just be shameless. “I couldn’t control myself for a moment. You don’t have to take it to heart.”

Jing He glanced at his expression and seeing no disgust there, he slightly relaxed. “This … this isn’t good.”

Qiu Ling gave a hum and pulled his hand back, feeling that he would really overdo it if he continued at this point. He couldn’t help a short quip though. “It felt good though.”

Jing He stared at him, his face red. Yes. Yes, it had felt good. A little too good which was precisely what worried him. “That kind of thing shouldn’t be done between people who … who aren’t …” He wanted to say ‘married’ but knowing Qiu Ling, he would just say that they should get married then and he wasn’t sure if he would have the strength to turn him down right now.

Actually, the longer this between them went on, the more difficult it was to protest. Anyway, he loved him and Qiu Ling liked him back. They had done things that should not be done between people who weren’t lovers and they had been in situations that were ambiguous at best and could be called completely indecent or depraved at worst. At this point, why was he refusing? It would be best to say yes, to get married to this man and allow him to make him his.

At that point, at the very least, nobody could talk no matter what happened between them. And yes, of course, he would also be more than happy to give himself to Qiu Ling. It was just that … he still didn’t think his father would agree.

Jing He felt spiritless when he thought of his father’s attitude. So many years and yet, nothing was getting better. He had no hope that in the future, his father would accept Qiu Ling. No, this was probably as far as they could go: Him keeping quiet as he let Qiu Ling have his way with him in secret. Oh, just thinking about it, he felt that his morals had completely collapsed. If anyone knew … where would he put his face?

Jing He lowered his head and his body tensed again, the grip of his hands getting stronger once again. “I think it … it might be better if Longjun left.”

Qiu Ling cursed himself inwardly but still nodded outwardly. “Of course. Then … I will come and get you tomorrow morning.” He didn’t let him refuse and simply rushed out, clicking his tongue at himself.

He had been too hasty. Yes, it was right to turn up his flirting a little but that had been too much. Jing He still wasn’t ready to accept it. He needed more time. Until then, while he could be a little daring, it couldn’t be too much. Especially in the next few days, he couldn’t repeat this.

No, he needed to slow down again. Being more explicit in his words was alright but touching him was still out of the question. He had just proven that to both of them.

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