Mo Fang wasn’t sure what to think. It wasn’t that he was unfamiliar with the notion of hiring a private investigator. To be honest, in the past, his maternal grandfather had often joked that if he ever were to get into a long-term relationship, they would hire somebody to look deeper into his boyfriend’s past than the person themselves was aware. So, of course, he didn’t think there was a problem with hiring anyone.
No, he couldn’t even say what exactly was giving him pause. If he thought about it, he had to agree with Si Tao: He didn’t know much about investigating. Especially with how few clues he had to find any relatives of Yu Ting that might exist out there, his path wasn’t smooth. So far, what he had was mostly general information on how to search, nothing specific about the family he was looking for.
So, what was it that made him so reluctant to do this? If he was honest with himself … it was likely the fear that he would lose his purpose.
He didn’t want to model any longer so his job couldn’t be any kind of grand aspiration any longer. He wasn’t looking for a new relationship so there was no need to go out and date. He had never really had a hobby either that he could focus on now. In short, there was nothing in his life that could occupy him. He felt as if he was drifting alone in the ocean with nowhere to go and nothing to do save for continuing to waver from one side to the other. That feeling … it wasn’t good.
At the height of that feeling, when everyone that could be contacted after returning to China had been contacted and every place that could be revisited had been revisited, looking for Yu Ting’s relatives had filled that void. If he went to a private investigator to hand that task over, then what was to become of him? What should he do with his time?
Si Tao leaned back and waved his hands. “Anyway, you don’t have to. It was just an idea.” He still thought it was a good one but with how Mo Fang was currently looking at him, he didn’t want to press the issue. With some things, it was better to stay out of them.
Mo Fang leaned back as well and slowly shook his head. “No, it … it sounds like a good idea. I just … I’m not sure.”
Si Tao gave a hum. “Well, you can think about it slowly. It’s not like I’ll lose his number in the next few days. Just send me a message or give me a call whenever you have made up your mind. If you don’t want to, it’s alright as well.”
Mo Fang nodded. To be honest, he knew that he should probably do this. Not accepting this kind of help … it’d be selfish, right? After all, it would lower his chances of finding Yu Ting’s relatives. Could he let that happen?
Mo Fang’s brows furrowed. Between feeling lost and wanting to accomplish this goal for Yu Ting’s sake, he should naturally prioritize the latter. As for himself … maybe after dealing with this, he would find another way somehow.
He took a deep breath and then forced a smile back onto his lips. “You know, you’re right. It’ll be easier this way. Instead of me tossing and turning for a long time without accomplishing anything, let’s put this into the hands of a professional. So … yeah, give him a call.”
Si Tao looked at him and faintly raised his brows. “Are you sure?” With the sudden change in attitude, he wasn’t that confident about Mo Fang’s decision. Even though he had been trying to talk him into this … well, now that he had, he also couldn’t help but worry.
Mo Fang nodded. “Yes, don’t worry! You’re right. I just … I just needed a moment to make up my mind. Thinking about it now, this seems like the best way to go about it. I want to know, after all, and he’s more likely to find out anything than I am. So … let’s go ahead with this.”
“Alright.” Si Tao nodded and pulled out his phone. “Let me see …” Scrolling through his contacts, he soon found the information he had saved back then. He didn’t click on it immediately and instead looked around. “Uh … how about going to the back to make the call?”
Mo Fang motioned at him. “You can go and talk to him first. See whether he had any time in the near future. I’ll get in contact with him another day then to discuss the details. If not, I don’t have to deal with it.”
Si Tao gave a hum. “Alright, if that’s how you want to do it.” He got up and gave Mo Fang another long look. “Uh … I’ll be back in a moment. You get something else to drink or some snack or something to fill the time. I’m sure it won’t take long.”
Mo Fang simply smiled. “Don’t worry. Just go and call.”
Si Tao gave a hum and finally went to the office in the back to make the call.
As for Mo Fang, he stayed at the table, playing with the half-empty glass of water next to him. He didn’t bother to order anything else. Right now, he just felt … like not moving a single inch.
Making that decision just now had felt like moving a boulder. Unfortunately, he still wasn’t sure if it was moving a boulder to take a weight off his shoulders or to crush his own heart. He didn’t want to think about it either.
He closed his eyes, trying not to let it bother him. Either way, he had to move forward somehow. Of course, that wouldn’t always be easy but that didn’t mean that he could shy away. Sometimes, the more difficult a decision was, the more right you were with your choice. In this case, that sure seemed to be the case.