Li Ming wasn’t sure how to feel about that meeting even though he was the one who had ultimately reached out. Still, since he had set it up, he would show up as well and have that talk. He was still doubtful about what to expect though.
When Thursday arrived, his heart was beating madly. The other day, Mo Fang had surprised him and he had been in a daze throughout that conversation. In fact, he didn’t think that he had said more than a word or two if even that had happened. Frankly, he couldn’t remember.
Today was different though. He had set up this meeting and he was going there in the hope of making sure what Mo Fang actually wanted. He had to be ready to have that talk so he couldn’t allow himself to be like that day again.
Could he do that? He didn’t know. In fact, he didn’t think that he could judge this until he actually stood in front of him. Maybe it would work out because this conversation would be had on his terms and not suddenly be pushed on him but maybe it wouldn’t. He’d have to see.
He reached the restaurant half an hour early, too nervous to stay at home and wait and too afraid to miss the right time. He nodded at the waitress and then sat down with a glass of water to have something to keep his hands busy.
Fifteen minutes later, the door opened again, bringing the breeze from outside with it.
Li Ming tensed and looked up. Of course, it was indeed Mo Fang. He … looked good. He had the other day as well but he had been too stunned to really take note of it. Now, he noticed though. He also noticed that it didn’t seem as deliberate as in the past but maybe that was his optimism speaking.
Mo Fang nodded at the waitress as well and then looked to the side, spotting Li Ming at the table. He went over, giving Li Ming a short greeting as well before he sat down. He didn’t speak up immediately and instead just looked at his face. Finally, he smiled faintly. “Thank you again for meeting with me. I wasn’t sure you would.”
Li Ming nodded. “I wasn’t either.” This was the truth and he saw no reason to spare Mo Fang’s feelings. Since he had already said that he hadn’t expected it, he might as well admit to it.
Mo Fang gave a hum and lowered his gaze. He had thought about how this conversation might go and how to start it in the first place. Now that he was here though, those ideas … they didn’t quite seem to work.
He kept quiet for a moment and then sighed before looking back up at Li Ming. “You probably felt weird about me suddenly appearing in front of you again. I wasn’t sure if I should do it either. You … made pretty clear back then that you didn’t want to see me again.”
“Why do it then? You’re not thinking of trying to get back together, are you?”
Mo Fang shook his head. “I’m not, no. I can see why you would think that though.” His lips curved up further and he shook his head. “To be honest, I simply want to apologize.”
Li Ming’s brows shot up. “Apologize?”
“Mn. Back then … I hurt you. A lot. More than I realized I have to admit. I didn’t think it was a big deal because it never was before and … I couldn’t see what I was really doing to you. That is why I continued to try and get back together which only made it worse for you. So … for all of that, I’m sorry.”
Li Ming stared at him, not sure what to think. He had expected a lot but an apology hadn’t been among those things. In fact, even though he had just heard it, he wasn’t sure what to do with it. “Why now?”
Mo Fang raised his brows, needing a moment to understand what he meant. Then, he gave a hum. “I guess it’s the first opportunity I got. I mean, you still had me blocked everywhere and I was in Europe these three years so it’s not like I could have dropped by like I did the other day. Also, it took a while to realize. I won’t deny that.”
Li Ming nodded slowly, still not sure what to think. “So … what now?”
Mo Fang looked at him and smiled. “I don’t know. I simply said what I wanted to and … what I felt I had to. I don’t know if it means anything to you or if it should even. I just felt that it was right. I owed you that apology. What you do with it … it’s up to you.” He shrugged his shoulders and then shook his head.
“You don’t have to worry that I’m going to harass you in the future. I’ll stay away. We might run into each other here and there but I swear it’s not going to be deliberate. I’m simply back in the city and I guess we share a few friends so there’s always the possibility. I won’t hang around at those times if you don’t want me to though.”
Li Ming had no idea how to answer. He looked at Mo Fang, trying to figure out what was going on. In the end, he could only rub his forehead and sigh. “You changed a lot.”
Mo Fang smiled. “I suppose so. Anyway, it’s been three years. A lot of things have happened in that time. That tends to change people and I guess for me, there was … a lot of room to grow.”
Li Ming nodded but he still wasn’t sure what to make of this. This person … he wasn’t the Mo Fang he knew and that made it incredibly difficult to really talk to him. It was as if he didn’t know him at all.