There wasn’t anything Rui Lan could do to help Li Ming in that regard so the two of them soon bid goodbye and both went back to doing their own thing.
For Li Ming, the problem he had just mentioned was indeed a difficult matter to deal with. Over these last few weeks, he had started to examine not just the failure of his relationship with Mo Fang but also his own behavior.
He had come to realize that maybe he was too rigorous in expecting the truth hundred percent of the time but he had reaffirmed for himself that he didn’t like hiding things. Since he would spend a considerable amount of time at his workplace and with his coworkers, it was even more important to him that he worked at a place where he could be himself and didn’t need to hide anything.
While right now, he might be single so it didn’t matter too much, that would change sooner or later. At that time, if his boyfriend ever came to surprise him at the end of his shift or walked him to his place of employment, he didn’t want to have to try and come up with an excuse as to what was happening.
No, he wanted to be able to be honest about it and say that this person was the one he shared his life with and wanted to grow old with. And if he wanted that, then finding a place that would be accepting of his orientation was something that he couldn’t compromise on.
Li Ming also realized that this wouldn’t be easy. After all, it wasn’t like the laws were much in favor of people like him. He could only hope that there would be some companies that paid attention to this by themselves to appeal to certain customer bases.
Not that he was too optimistic about that. He had been looking through dozens of job openings and the companies behind them but hadn’t found even a single one that mentioned their stance regarding gay people. Somehow, he was starting to feel like this might be a lost cause.
He rubbed his forehead and closed the laptop, not wanting to think about it any longer. Anyway, he still had time. If he wasn’t able to find something in the next few days, then he could still do another course after the current one. Even though he wanted to get back to work soon, that was a way to win some time which wouldn’t affect his chances to find a job afterward negatively. And he didn’t want to make a decision just out of desperation.
He knew himself. Working at the railroad station for so long had also been because he had felt comfortable there. While he knew that, going forward, he should be more open and try not to continue living the same way, he still wanted a place where he would be able to stay several years without feeling that it was too much to bear.
If he wanted change again, then it should be because he wanted to move forward for his own sake, not because he couldn’t live with the current situation anymore. So yes, he needed to make a smart choice.
For the time being, he went to make dinner, feeling that he should take his mind off things first. If you focused on something for too long, you would only start to miss the point. So by now, a break was truly in order.
He took his time both with preparing the meal and eating, not wanting to rush himself. Anyway, it wasn’t that late yet so he could still casually browse a little afterward. If he didn’t find anything, then tomorrow was another day. Surely, sooner or later, he’d stumble upon the right thing. He didn’t believe that there wasn’t a single job out there for a gay security guard.
After tidying up in the kitchen, Li Ming retired to the bedroom, casually lying in bed, and balancing the laptop on his legs. He picked up right where he had left off, scrolling through some lists.
He still checked for the same thing, now sometimes looking at the company’s website first before even reading the specifications for the job. But no matter how he went about it, he couldn’t find a single indication that any of these companies were queer-friendly.
Ah, it figured. Nobody wanted to be open about this. If anything, they’d probably try to subtly let it on and just play both sides. If he applied and got one of those jobs, he’d probably only find out how the actual climate in the company was for a gay man after he started working there. That really wasn’t the kind of surprise he was ready for.
Li Ming sighed and then wondered what to do. He did have several queer friends but none of them were security guards. So it wasn’t like he could ask them specifically about that. But maybe he could ask around in general to see if they had been satisfied with the treatment they got at one of the companies they had worked at in the past. At least some of those should also hire security, right?
Yes, that might be the best option. Thinking of that, Li Ming put the laptop away and instead picked up his phone from the bedside table, starting to send out a few messages asking for advice.
He probably wouldn’t hear back immediately and would then need time to go through everything but he finally felt better when he had sent the last one. At the very least, there was a chance now that he would get news from a reliable source. When it came to the opinion of people he actually knew, he trusted it much more than whatever he could find online.
Feeling that this matter had been taken care of, he took a look at the time and raised his brows, afraid that he might have been looking for too long. For now, he went to sleep.
The next day, he’d need to get up early to go to the course. As for everything else, he’d deal with that either before he left, was on break, or maybe when he came back. By then, he might already have a few leads. Actually, thinking of it, he really was looking forward to it. It made him feel that his life was back on track.