Li Ming looked defeated when he said so, making Duan Zhi Hao feel guilty for bringing this up. Maybe he should’ve just tried to change the subject or offered some solutions at least. But then, he didn’t know what kind of solution was possible.
If it was him, he wouldn’t have taken that this seriously. Especially after months had passed, he would’ve just forgotten about it or only remembered it as an embarrassing situation where he had kissed somebody who wasn’t into him because somebody pranked him. He never would’ve thought about it any other way.
But Li Ming was different. He took this matter so much more seriously. Whether it was about this crush of his and the way they had parted ways, or about his ex, he couldn’t get past them easily. He needed time and to take deliberate steps to get back to a better state of mind.
Duan Zhi Hao didn’t feel like he could help with that. He kept quiet since he didn’t know what to say and was afraid he might just make it even worse. If he said the wrong thing, Li Ming might start to feel even more guilty.
After all, experience had shown that he would listen closely but then think about the matter and come up with his own conclusions for the matter he was trying to solve. He wasn’t sure if this time, he wanted to be a part of that. His moral compass might not be the most beneficial here.
Li Ming also noticed that an awkward silence enveloped them and rubbed his brow with a sigh. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up in the first place.”
“No, no, I was the one who asked last week. You just … sated my curiosity. It’s just that I don’t know how to help you. I would love to, I don’t know, talk it through or give some good suggestions, but I can’t think of anything. Seriously, if it was me, I wouldn’t take it this seriously. But even if I tell you that, it won’t change anything for you.”
Li Ming nodded. That was precisely the problem he had. He took these matters seriously and because of that, it was hard to extricate himself. “Well, I also feel like in this situation, there isn’t much that can be done.
“You know, when I saw him, I was of a mind to go over. Like, maybe not at that specific moment because he wasn’t doing well, but a bit later. But then I thought about what he would think if he noticed that I was there. If he realized that I was hanging around, watching him, waiting for an opportunity to do whatever. And I figured that he would get scared or maybe angry. I didn’t want to do that to him.
“I want to apologize to him, I really do but I feel like it wouldn’t be appreciated. He would not want to see me. He wouldn’t want to speak to me. And at the end of the day, an apology can’t change what happened. So if I did this, knowing that he probably won’t want to hear it, then I’m doing it for myself, to … get rid of my guilty conscience. It’s not right. I should only do it if I feel that it benefits him, not for my own sake.”
Duan Zhi Hao cupped his cheek and gave Li Ming a pitying look. This guy … he was making life hard all by himself. He pondered for a bit and then slapped the table. “You know what? You don’t need to reach out to him. Doesn’t he have a boyfriend? Do you know who he is? If you can grab a hold of him, you could try to sound him out. Anyway, while he might be angry and cuss you out, he might also be willing to give you some information. At the very least, you could make sure that your crush is doing well and not haunted by the memory or something.”
Li Ming stared at him and then immediately took out his phone, wanting to look up the Weibo of Su Yan’s boyfriend. One of his coworkers at the railroad station had shown him and he remembered that he had some kind of repair shop but he couldn’t remember the name.
Scrolling through the list of shops around, he still had no idea which one it might be. He tapped the table with his fingers and finally messaged Rui Lan.
Li Ming: [Ah Lan, I’m sorry for bothering you but do you remember what the shop of Su Yan’s boyfriend was called? Or do you have the link to their Weibo? It’s not urgent, so take your time. If you don’t know, it’s alright as well.]
He read the message over two or three times before he finally sent it. This probably wasn’t his finest hour and he might look like he was stalking Su Yan, after breaking it off with Mo Fang, but he’d have to take the chance.
Anyway, Duan Zhi Hao’s suggestion was good. If he did this and got even one word from Su Yan’s boyfriend that he was doing well, it would indeed help him. And if his boyfriend thought that apologizing would be alright or even help Su Yan, then he could finally do that. Not for himself but for Su Yan’s sake. Well, he’d see about that.
Li Ming put his phone to the side and gave Duan Zhi Hao a smile. “Thank you. That was … sage advice, really. I couldn’t have come up with that on my own.”
Duan Zhi Hao raised his hands, not sure what to say. “Well, we’re talking about a guy who punched you in the face so I wouldn’t bet on getting a response you can do anything with. So I’m not sure if this is really that good.”
“Well, it’s worth a try. Anyway, I’ve messaged a friend who should know his Weibo. I can contact him there. We’ll see how it goes.”
Duan Zhi Hao smiled and nodded, happy that he had somewhat managed to help him out. He just hoped that things wouldn’t get even worse after Li Ming did this. After all, this plan might also backfire in case he found out that that old crush of his wasn’t doing as well as he hoped. Well, better not think about it or he might jinx it.