SML V4C38 Maybe It’s a Sign

Duan Zhi Hao also didn’t know what to say. Truth be told, in his younger years, he had been a bit of a player. He hadn’t gotten that easily attached to the people he dated, and usually, his relationships wouldn’t last long. When he was in his late twenties, that had slowly changed and by now, he was looking for a relationship that would last.

But because of those years, it was hard for him to put himself into Li Ming’s situation and really understand what he was going through. He had definitely never been so deeply in love that he would have this much trouble letting go of someone. Anyway, which bad breakup couldn’t have been dealt with a night of drinking and finding a new object of desire?

But then, Li Ming clearly wasn’t the type for that. Most likely, when it came to him, he wouldn’t get together with a person if he didn’t have deep feelings for them and if the breakup had come suddenly, he wouldn’t have had the time to really come to terms with it. Add on a layer of feeling betrayed, and this was indeed something that should be difficult to extricate himself from.

He thought for a while and then shook his head. “Honestly, I don’t know what to say. It’s clear that this matter hit you pretty hard. I think that being confused for a while and not knowing how to go forward isn’t strange. And honestly, maybe it’s not bad.

“You know, over the years, I’ve realized that actually, being single isn’t all that bad. Yes, there are things you can only have in a relationship and it can be beautiful with the right person. But I think that sometimes, you just need some time to yourself. And if that’s the case, why bother rushing to get over it? Just give yourself time! Doesn’t matter if you feel guilty or happy, just let it out until you feel ready for something new. After all, with time, those feelings also fade.”

Li Ming gave a hum and then nodded. “Yes, what you said is true. In fact, maybe breaking up and having to get over it is a bit like … grieving somebody. Of course, the person is still there, but they aren’t in your life anymore. I guess it’s normal to have some feelings about that. I just need to remind myself of that and then slowly work through it. I shouldn’t think too much.”

Duan Zhi Hao reached out and heavily patted his shoulder. “Exactly like that! Anyway, that restaurant shouldn’t be far away anymore now, should it? Let’s go there, take care of that as well, and drink a bit. I’m sure that you’ll already feel a bit better when we’ve done that.”

Li Ming couldn’t help but smile. “You mean talking to Si Tao or having a few drinks with you?”

Duan Zhi Hao laughed. “You don’t strike me as the drinking type if I’m being honest.”

Li Ming chuckled but nodded. “Actually, you can also be quite observant.”

“It’s not that I’m observant, it’s that you’re too easily seen through. You’re that type of honest guy. Doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t lie, doesn’t cheat, or anything that my grandmother wouldn’t morally approve of.”

Li Ming wasn’t quite sure what to make of that but finally just nodded. “Yes, I guess that does fit me a bit.” Although, his own grandmother would be scandalized if she knew he was gay.

While he had told his immediate family, his grandmother did not know about that yet and he honestly wasn’t sure if he should tell her. While he hated hiding these things away, he also knew that there were some things that maybe shouldn’t be said in some situations. There was a good chance the older generation would completely break with him if it came out and at the same time, it would break their hearts.

That wasn’t something that he wanted, no matter how unfair it might be that he had to hide a big part of himself. Because of feeling torn about this, he had been worrying about that matter as well. But it was the type of thought that came and went only in some special situations.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, realizing that once again he had unwittingly thought of Mo Fang. Because yes, of course, the last time he had pondered this question was when he thought that he and Mo Fang would be serious and long-term. And that had made him wonder if it wouldn’t be time to tell the rest of his family after all and also see if his parents had finally been able to come around.

Now, it didn’t matter anymore. That really showed that he was prone to overthinking, didn’t it? Such a matter that wouldn’t even be important anymore in the near future, he had put so much thought into it.

But then, maybe that was also a sign. Maybe, while things with Mo Fang hadn’t been able to last, it was a wake-up call that he had to make some hard decisions. Yes, maybe it would be best to indeed go and tell the truth to the rest of the family. Then, when he really met somebody that he liked, they would have an easier time accepting it.

Duan Zhi Hao looked at him and realized that he was a bit absent-minded, and couldn’t help but wonder if maybe the topic had gotten a bit too heavy. He was trying to come up with something that he could say to lift Li Ming’s spirits a bit when they had already reached the door of the restaurant.

“Well, it’s here. Let’s go in.” Saying so, Li Ming pushed those heavy thoughts away, opened the door, and stepped through, his gaze wandering to the bar where he had once sat with Mo Fang.

Now, it was time for one more awkward conversation. He really hoped that this would indeed help him with going forward. Well, at the very least, he would have taken care of his guilty conscience on two accounts already.

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