Jing He’s gaze flickered and he took a shaky breath to try and calm his mood. This description of his ideal spouse … unfortunately, it was exactly right. And even more unfortunately, there was no way to admit to that.
He could only try and deflect, reminding the dragon king that once again, he was overstepping the bounds of decency. But even that was especially hard. The situation reminded Jing He a little too much of the dreams he had had for the past few days. Being held closely by this man … hearing him whisper such sweet nothings into his ear … this was precisely what had been experiencing in his dreams. Most likely, it was what he secretly longed for. So now that it was being fulfilled outside his dreams, how could he just push this man away? No, he really couldn’t bring himself to do so.
Qiu Ling was stunned when he didn’t get an answer. He wasn’t quite sure if he should take his success as silent acquiescence but just thinking of the possibility made his heart thump.
He leaned forward, slightly lowering his head until his lips were directly next to Jing He’s ear. “You might think I’m going too far but that is indeed the kind of answer I would love to hear from you. In any case, the things you don’t consider perfect yet, I’m willing to change for you. As for my ideal spouse, I likely do not need to talk about it. I know exactly who that person is.” He reached up, his hands lightly brushing Jing He’s shoulders.
Looking from outside, these two seemed incredibly intimate. But only they themselves knew how nervous they were.
Jing He still couldn’t help but think that he should reject this man while he still couldn’t bring himself to actually do so and with each minute that passed, his guilty conscience at not doing what was to be expected of him grew heavier.
On the other hand, Qiu Ling felt incredibly lucky that Jing He had not reacted badly but the longer his beloved didn’t say anything, the more he couldn’t help but worry that maybe he had gone so far past the line in the sand that his beloved didn’t even have the words to scold him anymore. That even the faint possibility existed made him worried beyond belief. He could not screw this up!
Finally, it was Qiu Ling who gave up first. He leaned down further as if to kiss Jing He’s shoulder but held back at the last moment. “Alright. I won’t tease you any longer.” He let go of his shoulders and then stepped back, waiting for Jing He to turn around.
Jing He did so but his expression was a little blank. Tease him? Was that what it had been? Was this man just teasing him? The words he had just spoken … had they really just been spoken in jest? The thought of that made him worry and his worry made him speechless, unable to answer. It seemed that now that he had finally realized and accepted that he was in love with this man, things would get even worse between them. This really wasn’t something he was happy about. He searched for some words to say and diffuse the awkwardness between them but his mind stayed blank. There were only his worries in there.
In the end, it was once again Qiu Ling who spoke up. “I hope I didn’t go too far just now. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He was actually worried now. He knew how Jing He was. After several years of pursuing him, it would be strange if he hadn’t understood yet. And he had even been warned several times by others.
He naturally didn’t need anyone’s help to find out that what he had just done was quite daring. It was just that usually, Jing He would just quickly admonish him but not seem to dwell on it too much so over time, he had gone ahead and done a few things that he was sure he would get in trouble for. As long as nobody else saw and as long as he didn’t go further after Jing He told him not to, he felt that it wasn’t a problem. Now though … things seemed to be a bit different.
Jing He hurriedly shook his head but he still wasn’t quite sure what to say. Of course, the dragon king had gone too far. But saying so to his face … also didn’t seem right. Finally, he could only deflect. “I’m sure that Longjun didn’t mean to.”
Qiu Ling lightly pursed his lips, feeling that he had dug his own grave there. Now, his beloved was once again calling him by his title. He had hoped that they would finally be able to go over to using just names. Well, now really wasn’t the time to point that out after he had just made trouble. “Yes, I wouldn’t want to put you in a difficult situation.” He definitely wouldn’t say that he didn’t want to hug him though or have that future together he just imagined. In any case, that was a lie and a good dragon such as him definitely shouldn’t lie.
Qiu Ling looked at Jing He but the two of them had once again fallen silent. Now, this was quite awkward. He pondered for a moment and then just went over to sit at the table. “I hope your father didn’t give you grief because of my visit before. Had I known he would react like this, I probably would have left before but I felt that it wouldn’t do us any good if I just slipped away all the time. I’m not afraid to confront your father. I did mean what I said about wanting to marry you after all. Sooner or later, your father will have to accept the fact that I’m your suitor.”
Jing He’s heart thumped once again and he stood on the spot as if thunderstruck. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. He was naturally happy to hear Qiu Ling’s words but he couldn’t admit that. He also didn’t feel like admitting that his father had indeed been angry because of the dragon king’s visit to his palace. After all, wouldn’t that be badmouthing his father? That didn’t seem like the kind of thing he should do. But what to say then? “I’m sure … my father has a very high opinion of Longjun.”
Qiu Ling looked at him a little strangely. He felt that his beloved’s lie was a little too easy to see through. Ah, but on the bright side, his beloved was probably just trying to lift his mood. “Thank you for saying so. I’m afraid your father might think differently though. In any case, you shouldn’t worry about it. At the very least, your mother likes me.” He smiled, feeling that there was nothing wrong with saying this.
Jing He stared at him, wondering where this man took his confidence from. But then again, it probably wasn’t that strange either. Did Longjun have any reason not to be confident? Not to speak of being his ideal spouse, was he not the ideal man for just about anyone? His looks, his strength, his status … What about Longjun wasn’t perfect?
He lowered his head, his gaze flickering constantly. Such a man … would he really wait for him? He might still be saying that he did not mind his father’s attitude now but for how long would that be true? If his father didn’t reconsider, if he didn’t show him that he had actually started to be interested as well, would Longjun really keeps this up?
He doubted it. In any case, right now, there might be nobody else going after the dragon king to take away his attention. But what if that happened? Surely, he was not the only person able to see his worth.
If someone of the dragon race were to proposition him, maybe he would figure that it would be easier? In any case, there were certainly some excellent women and men around there as well. Somebody with a high status in the dragon king’s own race, somebody who would be completely honored to be with him, who wouldn’t make problems, who would even be able to freely show their appreciation of his love, instead of having to hold back because it was seen as indecent in their race … Such a person would be able to hook him, no?
Jing He also sat down at the table, feeling sick to his stomach. He hadn’t realized this before. He was actually walking on thin ice. He had believed that it didn’t matter at first, he had even hoped that the dragon king would lose interest. But after he hadn’t, he had slowly opened his heart. Now, the idea to lose this man’s interest was mind-numbing to him.
He didn’t want that to happen. But what was he supposed to do? He had nothing to give. And just today, his father had once again made clear that he would not accept the dragon king as his future husband. It would be quite difficult to actually make him reconsider. And without that, no matter his own feelings, he would not be able to be with this man.
It seemed that things … were hopeless.