The air surroundings Xin Lan seemed to become gloomier by the minute. Wu Ya looked on, unsure how to deal with this. His skills in dealing with other people really weren’t that great. The most time he had ever spent with another person would probably those years spent traveling with Chun Yin and Jinde. And had never been in a situation like this.
He pondered for a moment and then just picked up another jar of wine, opening it, and putting it down in front of Xin Lan. “Anyway, you can’t change it right now. Just drink some more. Tomorrow, things might already look better. It’s never too late. In any case, you’re alive, he is alive. Just try again if it doesn’t work out this time.”
Xin Lan turned to look at him and his expression slowly turned blank. Try again? At first, that thought seemed ridiculous. Since it hadn’t worked the first time if it didn’t work the second time either, why should he try again? Clearly, they weren’t meant to be in that case. But then again …
Originally, he had always thought that Jinde was his only chance at finding love in this life. He had thought that there was nobody else but him who could make him happy. But he had clearly been wrong. Other than Jinde, there was somebody else he could fill his heart.
In fact, thinking back now, he felt that maybe Tian hadn’t been wrong. He hadn’t really loved Jinde. For sure, he had found him quite tempting. And why not? Jinde was an attractive man. He was also somebody with status and grace, somebody that was looked up to not as much as him but in quite the comparable way in the dragon race actually.
So with time, he had felt that this person — who was on top of all that even able to treat him normally — would be the perfect match for him. He had clung on to that thought, hoping that this one thing could happen to him that would make that suffering from before worth it. But no matter what he hoped for, it hadn’t changed anything. He had still stayed alone because Jinde couldn’t requite his feelings no matter how much he would try.
Now though, when it came to Hua Lin Yu, he didn’t have the same calculations. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have that much of a status and wasn’t even a dragon. He was alright with that. He didn’t care. As long as it was Hua Lin Yu, he didn’t mind. Even if there wasn’t the Hua family behind him and the Jian Yi Sect, he still wanted to be with him. So clearly, his feelings for him were deeper than they had been for Jinde.
But if that was the case … Why would he stop fighting? He had held out hope for so long in regard to Jinde, much longer than it had been logical considering the circumstances. So why would he give up now that there was an actual chance? In any case, did it really matter if they got married now or later?
Things weren’t lost yet. Even if Hua Lin Yu was to fall in love with another person for some time, he wasn’t a dragon. He could fall in and out of love freely. As long as Hua Lin Yu didn’t come to hate him, it would be enough. He could always try again.
Xin Lan’s lips curled up a little and he finally nodded. “You might be right. Maybe there will still be another way in the future.” He emptied the first jar of wine and then picked up the second. “In any case, do I not have any good qualities? Why wouldn’t he fall in love with me or want to marry me? Even if he needs more time to realize it, I just need to stick around.”
Wu Ya nodded and raised his jar toward the sky, hoping to encourage him. “To time.”
Xin Lan gave a laugh. This Wu Ya … he was probably of the same generation as Jinde and Chun Yin. Clearly, compared to others in his tribe or in the dragon race, he had already lived long although it couldn’t compare to the time that Xin Lan had witnessed. But no matter what, he wasn’t wrong in this case.
“To time. In any case, you’ll also find somebody one day. Just go out of the mountains every now and then. Staying in there … do you really believe that your perfect partner will be delivered to your door?”
Wu Ya laughed at that and shook his head. “Maybe I was hoping for that. In any case, it happened the last time. Why can’t it happen again? But yeah, after I deliver the two of you to the capital and we have a look around, I’ll follow you out of our territory. And I’ll go on my own travels.
“I don’t believe that there is nobody out there for me.” He smiled brightly, his eyes glittering like stars. Yes, there were other people out there. There would definitely be somebody among them that he could get along with. He didn’t have to worry.
Xin Lan nodded and the two of them drank together, not bothering about how the time was slowly passing by and the night getting even deeper.
Next door, Hua Lin Yu was still lying awake, wondering just when Xin Lan would return. But one hour passed and then two and he still wasn’t back by the third one. It really made him feel that maybe he had done something wrong. Maybe rather than waiting before they returned from the spiritual beasts’ territory, it would be better to go ahead with it soon.
Maybe that would make Xin Lan doubt less. Maybe it would even make himself doubt less. After all, if the decision had been made, then it had been made. You couldn’t take it back after you were married, could you? Maybe doing that would be best for the two of them. He just didn’t know how to bring it up. Even less so after the conversation they had just had. He really should have thought this through beforehand.