Chun Yin lowered his gaze, unsure how to react to this. There were many things he wanted to say. Even if there had ever been time to think it through, he probably wouldn’t have known what to start with. At this moment … it was even worse.
He had a vague notion of what had happened. How he had died, how he had been reborn as a human, and fought his way up to finally ascending to the Nine Heavens, returning to the human realm and running into Jinde again, even managing to reunite with his child. But none of that was too clear at the moment. He even felt like there were large parts missing completely while others were slowly getting more distinct.
The last thing he could really remember though was how Biao Han had driven the blade into his chest and how he saw Qiu Ling approach, intently looking at him to signal him to run and save at least his own life. After all, he hadn’t known that she only wanted to kill him. Well, it seemed at least that had worked out. His son had survived.
In the end, Chun Yin sighed. He really would’ve liked a moment to close his eyes and sort through the memories from this new life but he didn’t dare to. Back when he died, he had thought that he would never see Jinde again. To be gifted one last opportunity … He did not want to waste a single second of it.
Unfortunately, Jinde didn’t seem happy to see him at all. Instead, his expression was vigilant and forbidding. There was even a hint of rage in his eyes.
Chun Yin could only smile wryly. “You don’t need to worry. This isn’t permanent. It is only until the last remnant of my soul has been integrated into the reincarnated one. After that, I will completely cease to exist.”
Jinde didn’t know how to answer. He stared at him, unable to either get close or to pull away. He just didn’t know what to make of the situation. This person clearly looked like the one that he loved, his husband of a millennium. But at the same time, he knew that currently, it wasn’t him. Instead, the one he got back was somehow his lover from the far past, the one he had thought he lost forever.
The strange thing was … he had always thought that if he ever got into a situation similar to Qiu Ling’s where he would have to choose between Leng Jin Yu and Chun Yin, he would have a hard time. He had thought that maybe because Chun Yin had been there first, he would be hung up over him and not be able to even consider the other person. After all, when thinking back, he still felt heartache over his loss and when he looked at one of the many paintings he had done of Chun Yin, his heart would squeeze painfully.
But now that it seemed to have happened, the feeling of dread at the thought of never getting his current husband back was too strong. And the relief washing over him when Chun Yin told him that this was only temporary erased any last doubts that he would not be able to make the choice.
No, to him, his husband, his lover, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was Leng Jin Yu. It was not Chun Yin anymore. While he had once loved this person, that was a thing of the past. Maybe at the time when Chun Yin decided to stay with his wife instead of divorcing her and getting together with him or maybe at the time when he decided to leave the capital city and take Qiu Ling along, he had already given up. Yes, between Leng Jin Yu and Chun Yin, he would always choose the former. Most likely, even if this was Chun Yin in his actual body, it wouldn’t change a thing. The decision had already been made deep down in his heart quite some time ago.
He took a deep breath and then sat down at the table, closing his eyes for a moment.
Chun Yin watched him, trying to engrave this moment in his memory. He knew that it was useless. After all, it wasn’t like he was given a second chance at life. In just a few hours, he would be a thing of the past. So what was he supposed to do with that memory?
But even though he knew that, he couldn’t help himself. He felt as if he had woken from a long slumber after a dreadful nightmare. Naturally, he would want to look at the person he loved. It was a pity … he could only watch from afar now. That person didn’t even want to get close.
Chun Yin gave a faint smile that showed at least part of the regret and pain he felt at this moment. Taking a shaky breath, he forced himself to speak up again. “Didn’t you want some answers? Since you have me back for a moment, you might as well ask me directly.”
Jinde opened his eyes and looked at him. It still felt wrong to see Chun Yin in that body but he couldn’t deny that he longed for those answers. And while Leng Jin Yu would clearly remember, it wasn’t quite the same to hear it from him. Thus, in the end, he nodded.