Mo Fang kept quiet for quite some time. At first, he was just internally screaming about what kind of shitty world this was where a good guy like Li Ming would actually chastise himself to the degree where he wanted to give up on his love life altogether. Then, he hastily formulated a plan. He had to nip this problem in the bud.
After a moment, Mo Fang inched closer and then sat up halfway, finally reaching out and grabbing Li Ming’s head. At the very least, he was still able to see the frame of his body so he was able to accurately grab onto his cheeks. Otherwise, this really would’ve been embarrassing.
“Bro Li, promise me that you won’t do anything stupid.”
Li Ming raised his brows. “What are you talking about? I’m just thinking that maybe I’m not as good of a boyfriend as I thought I was. I’m not going to question the rest of my life over that.” The rest of the time he might spend in a relationship? Sure. But there was more to live for than just that, wasn’t there?
Mo Fang shook his head and sighed, his breath lightly caressing Li Ming’s face. “I know that. I meant … you shouldn’t give up on dating just because of that. You made one mistake in all these years. I don’t believe that there was more than that one.
“After all, otherwise, do you really think your exes would still be on speaking terms with you? Believe me, I’ve dated enough assholes to be able to tell you that that’s not the case. They do something you can’t forgive them for, then you kick them to the curb, and never speak to them again.
“Even if they hadn’t been able to speak out while you were together, you would’ve found out about it when you broke up or sometime later than that. So … you’ve definitely been a good boyfriend to them. And for making just one mistake and even a mistake that you’re honestly regretting now … I think it’s too much to give up on yourself like this.”
Li Ming couldn’t help but smile at that. Mo Fang was really good at comforting people. “Thank you. It’s nice to hear that.”
Mo Fang smiled at him as well, feeling good that he was actually being praised by his crush. “Anyway, you should try to get over it. I know I’m probably not the right person to talk considering that I still have such a hard time forgetting about Lan Heng even though he was admittedly an actual asshole but … it’s been a bit of time since that Su Yan left, right?
“Yes, you did something wrong but you shouldn’t dwell on it. You shouldn’t dwell on him either. You … gave him two years of your life. It just didn’t work out. That doesn’t mean that it won’t work out with somebody else though. Who knows? There might already be somebody else waiting for you. You wouldn’t want to deprive that person of their chance of happiness, would you?”
Li Ming kept quiet for a while, trying to see what Mo Fang was saying. Letting go … It was easier said than done. But he had given him the very same advice. He would be a bit of a hypocrite if he said that it was impossible now, wouldn’t he? “I’ll try.”
Mo Fang gave a happy hum. “That’s what I wanted to hear!” He kept close to him for a while longer before finally pulling back his hand, not without taking advantage of the moment and patting Li Ming’s chest, feeling the strong muscles beneath his fingers. Pretending that nothing had happened, he spoke up again. “I guess we should go back to sleep then. If we stay up any longer, it will be five soon and then we’ll have to go on our jog without having slept enough.”
“Mn. We should do that.”
Mo Fang lay back down, slightly turning toward Li Ming in the dark so he would be able to roll over later on.
Li Ming was lying on his back, feeling a bit strange. He could still feel the warmth from the place where Mo Fang had just touched him. It was something that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Actually, it would be very nice to be in a relationship again. Being close to another person … that had felt very good. And if he was honest, then he did miss being able to do that a little.
Just take this night as an example: After getting over being flustered at the beginning, it had actually been quite nice to hold Mo Fang in his arms. And now, being touched by him gently, it also made him feel quite good. If he could, he would want this to happen more.
Yes, he should try to get over Su Yan. While he felt that two months were too short, he could work on that. He should find a way to deal with it. He didn’t know how yet but he did have to. Otherwise, he would never be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone in the future. And that … It wouldn’t be good for him and there might indeed be somebody missing out if he ever tried dating again but still wasn’t able to put it down. He couldn’t let somebody else suffer for his own shortcomings. Not again.
He turned to face Mo Fang and couldn’t help but reach out lightly, brushing his arm. “Thank you. Talking about this with you … I feel like I needed that.”
Mo Fang used the opportunity to inch a bit closer. “If you need to talk, then I’m there for you. It’s like you were there for me when I needed you.”
Yes, he would definitely be there. And he would make sure that Li Ming noticed it every single time. That would definitely make him feel much, much closer to him.