SML C24 I’m Scared

Finally enlightened, Mo Fang got back into the mood for the plan he had originally come up with yesterday. He hurried to adjust his expression to something that looked happy but not too happy, mixed with a bit of woe. “I’m very well. Thank you for asking, Bro Li. How about you?”

Li Ming didn’t know what to answer. He gave a short smile and then continued changing, his mind churning. In the end, he couldn’t help but steal a few more glances at Mo Fang. Despite what he had just thought, Mo Fang didn’t look too happy right now. So maybe he had originally gotten it right and only misinterpreted his reaction just now? Ah, he just didn’t know anymore.

Meanwhile, Mo Fang’s movements slowed down. He had started changing his clothes before Li Ming even came in so he naturally wouldn’t need much longer. But if he finished, then what kind of reason would he have to stay here? Then Li Ming wouldn’t have a chance to ask him and he wouldn’t be able to complain about Lan Heng. Then how would he continue with his plan?

When Li Ming pulled himself out of his thoughts, he noticed that Mo Fang’s actions had slowed to a crawl and he almost seemed to be staring into space. Even if he wasn’t unhappy, he was at least in a strange mood.

Li Ming only hesitated for a moment longer and then took out his jacket, pulling it over his shirt before he closed the locker. “Mo Fang … I don’t want to press it but I’ve already felt yesterday that you seemed a bit … off. And you’re also looking a bit stressed this morning. Are you sure that everything is alright?”

His words pulled Mo Fang out of his reverie and he turned to look at him, his expression still lost. This time, he didn’t even need to act the part. He just wasn’t quite sure how to answer this.

Li Ming unwittingly helped him out of the situation. “You don’t have to tell me. I know we don’t know each other that well yet so … It wouldn’t be that surprising if you felt strange about telling me. But … If you really have any problems, then you should go and talk to somebody about it. I’m sure there are a lot of people who would gladly help you.” He gave a reassuring smile, hoping that his words would cheer Mo Fang up a bit.

Mo Fang indeed requited his smile and then closed the door of his locker as well. He leaned against it and gave him a long look. “Thank you. That really means a lot to me. Actually … It’s nothing much. But I feel like I would be bothering you if I spoke about my problems all the time. You just said it yourself: We don’t know each other that well yet. If I always talk about my personal problems, you might feel that I’m taking advantage of your politeness.”

Li Ming felt helpless when he heard that. “You’re really thinking too much. If you want to talk about it, then I’m willing to listen.” A few days ago, ah, maybe even yesterday, he might have tried to send him to either his father or Zhi Bao Yu. But now, he had seen just how Zhi Bao Yu had reacted to him asking her for that favor. And when this might be about his previous relationship again, it could very well be that going to his father with his problems would be embarrassing. So, what else was there to ask?

He didn’t know about Mo Fang’s other friends outside of the people in the railroad station but a lot of couples shared the same social circle. It could very well be that the people Mo Fang knew a little better were also acquainted with his ex-boyfriend. In that case, talking with them would really be awkward. He probably wouldn’t want to risk that.

Li Ming motioned at the bench and sat down, looking at Mo Fang expectantly.

Mo Fang seemed to hesitate for a moment before he sat down next to him, looking down in a way that made his hair fall down and almost cover his eyes. “I don’t even know how to say this. You see, the other day when you helped me move my stuff from Lan Heng’s apartment, I thought that things were finally completely over.

“I mean he cheated on me and I really can’t imagine being with somebody who treats me like that. And then I also got my things and thought that that was the last time I saw him. But …” He sighed and shook his head, making his hair fly. “Yesterday, Lan Heng stood in front of our door. I … I was very surprised. I never would have expected that.”

Li Ming looked at him in horror. His impression of that Lan Heng really wasn’t good. “He turned up at your family’s place? What did he say?”

Mo Fang looked up, giving a wry smile. “That he was sorry, that he wanted me to forgive him, that he wanted us to get back together? Honestly, I don’t understand him either. If he really loved me, why would he have cheated on me? But if he doesn’t … Why did he come then?” He put on a lost expression, making Li Ming feel even worse.

That guy! Not only had he treated him badly when they were together, but he had even reacted violently when they got Mo Fang’s things. And now, he wasn’t willing to step back and leave him alone when Mo Fang wanted some time to heal from his heartbreak? This was going too far!

“Have you told him that you don’t want anything to do with him anymore?”

Mo Fang nodded. “I did. It … It really wasn’t easy. You see, even though I’m hurt by what he did, it’s not like I didn’t love him. I just … This all feels unreal.” He looked up, falling silent.

Li Ming watched him with worry and finally reached out and patted his shoulder. “I know it’s hard. If things go down the drain with somebody you love, that is always hard to accept. But … with a bit of time, things will certainly get easier.”

Mo Fang nodded. “That’s what I thought. It’s just that … I’m afraid he won’t leave me alone. What should I do then? I was able to say no yesterday but what about today? What about tomorrow? Really, I just don’t know if I can do this. I’m scared.”

« ToC »

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