Jing He’s thoughts were easily led astray. Originally, he had thought he was doing well and adjusting to the dragon realm step by step. Even though there was no big difference compared to before, he felt that he had already acted quite daring compared to his usual behavior which should be more in line with what the dragons and his husband would expect of him. But now, he was once again plagued by doubts.

Did Qiu Ling not like his touch? Did he feel that he was going overboard? Did he prefer him to be more restrained? Or could it be that there was something else bothering him? A lot had happened today so it wasn’t impossible and he truly wanted to believe that it was the latter because that would mean that his husband wasn’t dissatisfied with him. Still, his first instinct was always to search for the fault on his own side.

Pushing through such a belief wasn’t easy at all and he didn’t even know where to start. Without knowing the truth, his thoughts would always circle around the same topic and he had grown up believing himself to be inherently wrong. Where would any conviction come from that he wasn’t? Simply getting married couldn’t absolve him from such a self-image.

The speed of brushing through Qiu Ling’s hair slowed as the doubts continued to grow. He reminded himself that his husband had asked him to be more open and he also understood that the flaws his father-in-law had spoken of earlier were, in part, his inability to overcome his fears and simply face the issues in front of him by asking or expressing his thoughts. He knew this was what he should do but … it was scary to think about. What if the answer he received would confirm what he had feared?

When his hand stopped moving, Qiu Ling was pulled out of his trance and realized that he had caused his beloved to worry again. He lightly cleared his throat and raised his head, tilting it to look at Jing He. “My love …”

Jing He looked at him with wide eyes, afraid of the words that were to come.

Qiu Ling continued to gaze at him, his throat dry. This … this really wasn’t easy. He wanted to take this further but he was still afraid of hurting Jing He. Holding back and not explaining would hurt him in another way though. How could he let that happen?

He gulped and then took a deep breath before slowly reaching up and cupping Jing He’s cheeks. He held his lover’s gaze and quietly encouraged himself. They loved each other and Jing He had always been forgiving, not to mention … it wasn’t like his beloved had any comparison at hand. If things weren’t perfect, he wouldn’t even realize. As long as he didn’t actually hurt him, imperfect skills wouldn’t be an issue. And as for hurting him … he just had to go at this very, very slowly.

With another shaky breath, he leaned closer, bridging the gap between them. He felt Jing He’s body heat where they touched and the silky feeling of the few strands of hair that were hanging down in front of his shoulders, lightly brushing the fingers that were still cupping his cheeks. His beloved’s faint breath hit him, making his arms tense.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t screw this up.

Qiu Ling’s lips finally touched Jing He’s. He didn’t dare to use any strength and forced himself to relax as much as he could. That short caress felt like the wings of a butterfly, fleeting and almost illusory.

Still, Jing He’s worries calmed down at once. He still wasn’t sure what had happened just now but … it certainly didn’t seem as if his husband was unhappy with him. On the contrary, this kiss made him feel cherished as if he was a fragile treasure in his eyes that ought to be protected well in his hands and couldn’t be touched at random.

Jing He relaxed and his hand moved once again, brushing through his husband’s hair, while he rested the other lightly on his shoulder.

Qiu Ling pulled back after that first kiss and hummed. His beloved had lowered his eyelashes but there was no invasion in that action, only a hint of shyness. He licked his lips, his heart once again agitated. This … was exactly how he had imagined this night to go.

He smiled and pushed all those extraneous thoughts aside, once again leaning closer to show his beloved his appreciation.

This kiss lasted longer than the previous one but it wasn’t any less gentle. He had kissed Jing He with more force in the past, sometimes almost forgetting himself in the feeling. Now though, he only wanted Jing He to get comfortable and slowly lose himself in this feeling. When he did … they would be ready to go further than this.

Qiu Ling’s hand slipped down to Jing He’s neck and he caressed his cheek with his thumb. He still didn’t dare to do more, only this kiss and this touch, until his other half was used to this and could accept it easily.

When he pulled back this time, he looked at Jing He’s face again. Those beautiful eyes had completely closed and those petal-like lips had lightly opened as if waiting for another kiss. Qiu Ling continued to look at him, his heart overflowing with love. He knew his touch should convey all of what he felt but he still wanted to share more than this.

“I love you more than you can imagine.”

Jing He’s eyelashes trembled and he opened his eyes, gazing at his husband. “I … love you too.” He only spoke slowly, his heart fluttering too much. He wasn’t sure why but … this kiss seemed different from usual and so did Qiu Ling’s reassuring words. It was as if, after getting married, something had inevitably changed between them. Well, it was a change he liked very much.