Qiu Ling watched helplessly as Jing He continued to cry. Just what was happening? Had he said anything wrong? He had asked him whether it had hurt to exchange for his vision at the Spring of Fate so maybe Jing He had remembered how much pain it had indeed caused him and the memory caused this behavior? But then, why ask him that question?

For a moment, he stared at him in doubt, just quietly stroking his back in the hope it would help somehow. At the same time, his mind continued to churn. Asking him what would have happened if he were to choose his father … that ought to be because he had seen something. As for what that might be …

Qiu Ling thought back to his own father who had been separated from Jinde for over a hundred years before his death and couldn’t help but wince. Others might not know but he was well aware of what exactly the consequences of being separated from your soul-bound partner would be. And if Jing He had seen him find such an ending, then, of course, he would be distressed.

Qiu Ling sighed, feeling that he had indeed found the reason for Jing He’s tears. In fact, this also explained why he had been crying so badly when he just came back and why he threw himself into his arms and clung to him with a death grip. He had been scared of the future he had seen. It was as simple as that.

Qiu Ling leaned down and hugged Jing He tightly. “What you’ve seen is just a vision. But … I will admit that the consequences for me if you didn’t want me would have been rather dire.”

Jing He finally heard what he had asked about but it didn’t help him feel better. On the contrary, he only cried harder. He still couldn’t understand why Qiu Ling hadn’t told him. Why take this risk? What if he had made the wrong choice? What then?

Qiu Ling felt distressed seeing him like this but also didn’t know what else to do. He had told him what he wanted to know and nothing had happened anyway. Was there a reason to cry about this? But looking at it from the other side, he was far less likely to care about it if anything happened to himself than he would if Jing He was concerned. Most likely, his beloved was the same. Knowing that something could have happened to him, he felt distressed.

Realizing that this was the heart of the matter, he gently held him, kissing his temple. “I know you feel scared. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have … had to see any of those things, especially not unprepared. But you don’t need to worry. I am alright, am I not? Nothing has happened to me. I am still here and in a few days, we will finally get married and face the rest of our lives together. Let’s just focus on that, hm?”

Jing He indeed calmed down a bit when he heard these words. He still couldn’t easily ignore that he hadn’t known though. “Why … why not tell me?”

Qiu Ling sighed and rubbed the back of Jing He’s head. “Because I don’t want you to worry about things that might never be relevant. I … I suppose I trusted you would choose me in the end. And if you hadn’t …” He hesitated what to say and then just sighed again. “You can only choose one side and while I am affected by my people’s curse, you aren’t. I can’t force you to be with me. If you had wanted to follow your father’s wishes, I would have needed to accept that. Loving you … means doing whatever is best for you. The curse is simply my burden to bear.”

Jing He immediately shook his head. “I have always wanted to be with you! Choosing my father …” He had been tempted to do so but always with deep regret at losing Qiu Ling or with the hope that they could still convince him to accept their relationship down the road. He had never really wanted to leave Qiu Ling behind. “I only ever considered that out of fear of what might happen. But if I had known how dire the consequences of doing so would be, I wouldn’t have entertained it for a moment.”

Qiu Ling watched his expression and nodded slowly. “I should have told you, I’m sorry.”

To be honest, this reminded him of the time when he wanted to help Jing He during his trial and instead messed everything up, almost getting him killed in the process. At that time, Jing He had also kept the content of the trial rather vague. Maybe he had wanted to protect him in his own way so he wouldn’t have to worry or maybe to him who had suffered constantly for two millennia, those short sixty or seventy years he expected were nothing and not worth mentioning. Either way, if Jing He had spoken up, there would have been fewer twists and turns during the trial, just like if he had told Jing He more about the curse of the dragons, his choice might have been made more easily. It really was his oversight this time.

Qiu Ling kissed his lover’s temple again. “I didn’t think it would be that important but I can see now that it was. In the future, I will tell you everything. But either way, you have chosen me and I am alright. So let’s not dwell on the past, alright?”

Jing He nodded and hastily dabbed at his cheeks, drying the remaining tears. He didn’t want to make trouble. He just … felt so aggrieved thinking of what he had witnessed and how Qiu Ling hadn’t told him ahead of time. It had felt as if he didn’t trust him enough and because of how much he loved him, that stung. Although most likely, it hurt the most because his previous actions showed that such distrust would be justified. He really … hadn’t done well as Qiu Ling’s lover so far. He’d have to make up for it in the future.