Jing He pondered quietly for a while, not sure what to make of these thoughts. There was so much these days he had to think about while his mind didn’t seem as good as it had before. No, right now, everything seemed a bit blurry as if he was looking at it through some kind of veil. He couldn’t get rid of it even if he noticed it and could at most try his best to thin it out. In this regard, he should be grateful that he would have Tian’s help.

Tian’s help … Jing He furrowed his brows when he thought of this and looked at Qiu Ling with distress. What Tian had asked of him would not just affect him but Qiu Ling as well. He should … tell him about it but he had to admit that he was scared. What if Qiu Ling could not live with this idea? What if he left him because of that?

Qiu Ling raised his brows when Jing He’s expression shifted. He gently rubbed his head, trying to reassure him. “What’s the matter? You know you can talk to me about everything.”

Jing He still felt doubtful but he also couldn’t bring himself to stay quiet. Even if he didn’t tell him everything, he needed to at least make sure where Qiu Ling stood. “If … if we could not have a child in the future, how would you feel about that?”

Qiu Ling continued to look at him, making sure to keep his own expression stable. He wasn’t sure why Jing He was suddenly bringing this up but knowing his beloved, he wouldn’t ask hypothetical questions for nothing. No, if he asked this … there was a big chance that they actually couldn’t have one. To be honest, he felt … a bit sad thinking about that.

He brushed through Jing He’s hair, trying to come to terms with this idea. “I have … always wanted a family of my own and I always thought that would include a child.” In fact, he wouldn’t have minded having more than one but he knew that this wasn’t possible with Jing He so he had already said goodbye to that idea. “If it’s not possible though, then that is just the way it is. Anyway, you are the one I love so I will be with you no matter what.”

Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Bai Fen had told him in detail about the curse on the Heavenly Emperor’s family so he was aware that they were limited to one child at most. Why was it that Jing He now believed that even that was impossible? Could it be … that having become a fallen god made it this way?

To be honest, that didn’t seem impossible. He wasn’t all that familiar with what it meant to be a fallen god but he knew thanks to Xiang Yu that they apparently couldn’t grow any longer. It might not show as much with somebody older but Xiang Yu hadn’t even come of age when he fell so he was forever trapped in the state he had been in when it happened.

Was it possible that this was not reversible and that this somehow made having a child impossible? He felt a bit doubtful but it was the only explanation he could find. Anyway, no matter the reason, his response would stay the same.

He rubbed Jing He’s head again and smiled. “We can be happy just with the two of us. Or if we really want to raise a child, we can still adopt one. I have never given much thought to blood ties.” He had killed his own mother for what she had done and, frankly, he had always been partial to Jinde among the adults in his life who wasn’t related to him at all. Now, his own father … was an ascended deity who had lived a whole nother life that he hadn’t been a part of and while that had caused their relationship to become something entirely different that could hardly be described as a father-son-relationship, he did somewhat consider him in the same way he might an extended relative at least. Well, or maybe he just looked at him as Jinde’s husband … it was a bit tough to say.

Jing He watched Qiu Ling’s expression closely, not wanting to miss any details. He couldn’t catch anything that seemed to imply that he would have an issue with this. Was he sad? Certainly. But he still seemed optimistic overall. Apparently, he had thought too much.

He hesitated for a moment longer before he reached up and held Qiu Ling’s hand. “This is something that Tian told me.”

Qiu Ling tilted his head, not sure what he meant. “That we can’t have a child?”

“No …” Jing He fell silent and took a moment to organize his thoughts. Only then did he quietly tell him the gist of what Tian had told him. “He said that … according to the fate he can perceive, our child would be the reincarnation of his and that is the prerequisite to Xing waking up again. I am afraid … even if we have a child, we won’t be able to keep it.”

Qiu Ling furrowed his brows. Tian had conveniently forgotten to mention anything about that when he met him or maybe he simply hadn’t bothered because he didn’t think it was relevant. Anyway, he was right. Even if presented with this fact, he still wouldn’t have decided differently about anything. Well, at least this explained why Tian had been helping them all along: There was something in it for himself as well.

In the end, Qiu Ling could only sigh. “I can live without a child. Giving ours up … would be hard. But I suppose this is the price we will have to pay for his help.” He pulled Jing He closer and buried his face in his shoulder. He didn’t want things to be like this either but … “I want you back. I suppose … I am willing to pay almost any price for that.” Yes, even if it would break his heart, this had to be done.