[What I remember the most clearly is her voice. Because of what she was sent to do, her looks resemble Jinde in quite some ways but her voice was distinctly different from his. It was a lot lighter, even a little airy. Sometimes, I would hear her sing, although she never did so when my father was around.

I realize now that she was likely missing the man she loved and what she sang were songs for him, a way for her to express her longing and misery at being stuck with her husband. Naturally, they were not suitable for others to hear. I doubt she didn’t notice that I was sometimes around though. I suppose this means she didn’t mind my presence.

She probably thought that she would deal with my father and then, she would take me to the demon realm and reunite with her first husband, playing happy family with him. She did not realize that Jian Heng never wanted that and only used her because of her resemblance to Jinde. She also did not realize that I didn’t share her sentiments. I would have preferred to have my father stay alive.]

Qiu Ling stopped writing and thought back to that time when Jinde had helped Leng Jin Yu to integrate the remainder of Chun Yin’s soul with his own. That short time with his father had given him so much. It had been odd, yes, but it had allowed him to heal part of a wound he hadn’t even realized was still there.

If he could have had him back completely — not as a reincarnation but as his own self from the past life — he would have given a lot for that. It wasn’t that he disliked Leng Jin Yu. It was just … not the same. His father was gone. His memories might live on but he wasn’t the same person any longer and he didn’t think that he could ever see him as the same either.

At most, he was like … that uncle that had grown up with your father so that even though they were very different, he had a good grasp on what your father would have thought of something and could shed some insight on it. That uncle was definitely welcome in your life but he couldn’t replace your father. That gap in your life would always be there, no matter how hard he tried.

Qiu Ling took a deep breath and decided not to dwell on it. He read over the last few lines he had written and then continued from where he had left off.

[I suppose she couldn’t have been too bright or maybe she simply didn’t want to see the obvious signs. If he had loved her, would he have sent her to another man? I doubt it. Anyway, he was a demon so any discussion of love is moot.

I suppose the same might go for my mother. While I tend to call her a demon, she was a half-blood with the blood of the demons and the dragons. She was willing to do all those things for Jian Heng for what seems to have no benefit to herself so I assume she must have loved him. This would mean that her dragon blood prevailed but I can’t say for sure. I don’t know anything about her family and by now, I suppose there is nothing left to find out. It shouldn’t matter either. What she did was horrible, no matter what her reasoning was. It cost the life of what was an innocent man and also the chance of a happy family.]

Qiu Ling paused. Usually, when it came to his mother, he tended to think of how much she had screwed over his father. But frankly, was he not also her victim? She separated the real lovers and inserted herself in the middle, causing trouble until the family she had created needed to leave their home and live their life in solitude. Then, she also took a person from that family, forcing the other one’s hand and making him deal with her. In a sense, he might have had it worse than his father because he needed to live with the consequences.

Qiu Ling sighed to himself. Trying to recall the good things about his mother really wasn’t easy when she had done such a thing.

[What I mean to say is that I frankly don’t know where she fell on the dividing line between the dragons and demons. Did she love Jian Heng or was all of that only a deep-seated obsession? I don’t know if she loved me as her child either. Sometimes, I wonder if I would feel better if I could tell or if that would make things even worse.

Either way, she had killed him and I had killed her. With that act came the realization that I was not what I had believed myself to be. I was not just a dragon but I had the blood of the demon race as well. I didn’t seem to be such an upright person either, considering that I now had blood on my hands and even that of a relative. While I objectively knew that she deserved to and needed to be killed, I could not help feeling coldness seep into my heart at the thought of my own actions.

In this way, I finally burned down the house where we had lived as if I was — maybe subconsciously — trying to get rid of all the evidence of this life we had led and also this day that had brought a sudden end to it all. Afterward, I fled. Don’t ask me where to because I do not know. I only know that I left for as far as my magic could carry me that day and then I settled down where I thought nobody would find me.]

Unfortunately, that hadn’t worked out too well and that was also the part he had not yet confessed to Jing He, something that needed to be rectified now.