Bai Fen raised her brows. “Adviser An Bai is aware?”

Qiu Ling nodded. “Yes. Apparently, he has been since before the trial. I … wasn’t aware that he knew though. I told him after Jing Yi ascended. It … felt like it was time.”

Bai Fen smiled. “Well, I am happy to hear that you had somebody to tell and that he apparently accepted it well. You deserve that.”

“I suppose I do.” Qiu Ling fell quiet, thinking of all those years he had hidden because of his origin. The demons didn’t have a good reputation in either the Nine Heavens or the dragon realm but it was even worse in the latter. To come out and say that you actually had some of their blood was difficult and he had needed thousands of years before he was ready to do so. In the beginning, such an outcome would have been unthinkable.

He lowered his gaze and then sighed before looking at Bai Fen again. “I believe you wanted to tell me about Jing He’s past though. I am much more interested in discussing that.”

“I can imagine.” Bai Fen laughed and took the cup of tea Qiu Ling had poured for her, taking a sip. Thinking back on her son’s life … where was she even supposed to begin? It seemed like even before Jing He was born, it had claimed its price. “When speaking about this curse, I suppose I should start with the time I found out I was pregnant with Jing He.”

Qiu Ling watched her quietly, not wanting to interrupt. This story … from the little he knew, it was one that was hard to bear. In a sense, even though Bai Fen herself wasn’t cursed, her life wasn’t any easier than that of her husband or her son. On the contrary: Because she hadn’t been warned ahead of time, she had had less preparation, and dealing with what was now her new reality couldn’t have been easy.

“At that time, I had just returned from my last trial in the mortal realm. I couldn’t remember yet. In fact, I had just woken up when I saw my husband sitting next to me, his expression … interesting.” Her gaze cooled a little when she thought of that time.

The days before a trueborn god started to remember their trial were always vulnerable ones. After all, you had lost out on several weeks at home but you didn’t actually know what you had done during those weeks. It was an odd feeling and definitely not the kind of state where you should be ambushed with any kind of big news. Of course, there was no way to keep the death of her daughter from her either.

Bai Fen took a deep breath and took another sip of tea. “I had no idea what had happened. I figured that since he was there when I woke up, it might be about my trial. You know thanks to Jing He’s now that there are a row of trials you have to pass until a certain time. For me, this was supposed to be the last one. If I hadn’t managed to fulfill the requirements though, then that would mean I’d have to go back. As both the Heavenly Empress and a mother, this wasn’t an easy thing to do so I also felt apprehensive. I never would have thought it was even worse.”

She lowered her head, remembering the anxiety she felt when those thoughts bubbled forth. Since the moment she opened her eyes, her husband hadn’t said anything, adding to her worries. Looking back with the knowledge of everything she had learned since then, she was naturally aware that he simply hadn’t known how to tell her. But in the situation itself, his hesitancy sure hadn’t helped.

“Finally, I had to ask him if this was the case because he didn’t say anything but he immediately shook his head. I still remember it as if it had been yesterday. He said — word by word — ‘That isn’t it’ as if that could somehow …” She shook her head herself, unable to find the right words. “I suppose he didn’t know how to explain but it just felt so surreal.”

“He did explain though, didn’t he?” Qiu Ling sure hoped so. If the Heavenly Empress had gone to look for her child and finally couldn’t find them, only to hear from somebody else what had happened … he really couldn’t imagine that. Surely, their relationship could have never survived that.

Bai Fen nodded. “He did. Very straightforwardly so. He simply said ‘It is about Fang Hai. She died.’ And that …” She shook her head again, once again unable to speak.

Qiu Ling gave a hum. He hadn’t had a child yet but he had lost his family before he even came of age so he could somewhat imagine the feeling of loss. In his case, he had watched his father die. It had been horrific but if he imagined that he instead came back and was simply told about this as a fact by his mother … it wouldn’t have been much better. While not as gruesome as seeing the person actually pass away, the feeling of disbelief should be strong. After all, how could a person that had been happy and healthy just a short while ago suddenly be gone?

He took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled but still felt stuffy. He hated that this person who had been so kind to him had had to go through this in the past. He hated even more that this kind of thing could happen to him and Jing He as well in the future since his beloved’s whole bloodline was cursed. Unfortunately, he couldn’t do anything about either of these.

“It must have been difficult to accept.” In the end, he only managed to say these words which made him feel all the more helpless. Even comforting her seemed impossible at this moment in time.