Li Ming rubbed his forehead and turned off his phone’s screen before he could scroll through Mo Fang’s Weibo and discover even more about what he had been doing these two years.
Seriously, it was bad enough to be told something coincidentally and then check that but if he did any more, he would be too pathetic. He had a new boyfriend already and things were looking good. He shouldn’t be thinking about an ex. Unfortunately, he also couldn’t deny that this had been his most significant break up so it was hard not to dwell on it sometimes.
He put the phone aside and turned his back, sighing deeply. No matter what, this was a habit he had to stop. From now on, he had to think only about the future. He should probably take a page out of Zhao Chen’s book and stop thinking about past relationships so much. To a certain degree, it could help you grow to do so, but there came a point where you were simply torturing yourself and making trouble for others.
He closed his eyes and forced himself to think about other matters, finally falling asleep. Unfortunately, it had already been late at night when he returned home so when he had to get up the next morning, he felt like hell. His head hurt and he felt dizzy. If he hadn’t needed to work, he simply would have gone back to sleep.
He sighed to himself and then forced himself to get ready. Anyway, nothing would get accomplished if he felt sorry for himself. Maybe this would also be a lesson to him to not let these things bother him at night.
When he finally arrived at work, he did feel slightly better but he still couldn’t wait for the day to be over already. Working while tired really wasn’t something he liked to do, especially considering the nature of his job. A tired person wasn’t as alert and a security guard should be nothing but alert. This was the first time in years he dared to arrive at work like this.
Facts proved that even if your track record was excellent, that alone couldn’t protect you from accidents. As soon as he walked into the building, he ran into Manager Quan who stopped and looked at him bewildered.
“Brother Li, what happened to you? Are you not doing well?”
Li Ming could only smile wryly and curse himself for not getting here five minutes earlier. “I’m sorry. Last night, Zhao Chen and I …”
Manager Quan raised his brows and wanted to interrupt him to ask if he really wanted him to know this but then, on second thought, Li Ming wasn’t the type to talk about his private life in much detail. In fact, he had only heard from one of the others that he and the new hire were dating now. So this definitely wasn’t about that.
Li Ming almost trailed off when he saw Manager Quan’s expression but he forced himself to continue speaking. If he stopped, it would sound even strange. “We went out with a couple of friends and it got a bit late. I promise it won’t happen again.”
Manager Quan’s expression turned more natural and he hurriedly waved, trying to get rid of the embarrassment from just now. “Oh, don’t worry about it. Who doesn’t have a bad day once in a while? Just make sure you tell me if you are suddenly getting worse.”
Li Ming inclined his head. “Of course. Then … I should go then.”
“Yes, yes, right, don’t let me keep you!” Manager Quan waved him away and then rushed off himself, trying not to think about what his expression before must have looked like. He really needed a better poker face.
Meanwhile, Li Ming went to relieve his coworker from the shift, once again having to answer the same questions. Yes, this really should be a lesson to him. If you didn’t want to have to say anything, you shouldn’t do anything that was worth questioning. In fact, things were likely to only get worse.
When it was Manager Quan or any of his other coworkers, it wasn’t too much of a problem. Anyway, they were simply worried in the beginning and then wouldn’t care too much. But there was still Zhao Chen.
He was also working today and they would definitely run into each other. By then, the excuse of ‘it got too late yesterday’ wouldn’t work any longer. After all, Zhao Chen had been out just as long as he had but he likely wouldn’t be worse for the wear today because of that. When he compared his state to his own … he’d only need to put two and two together to figure that the actual reason was a different one.
Usually, he wouldn’t mind. They could just have an honest conversation about this and then move on. But he also remembered how Zhao Chen had looked at him when he said that he was jealous last night. To a certain degree, Zhao Chen didn’t believe that the matter with Mo Fang was over. His state right now would simply serve as proof of that.
Li Ming sighed when he thought of that. To be honest, he couldn’t fault him. Clearly, there still was something there. Even if it wasn’t what Zhao Chen thought, that was difficult to tell from the outside.
Zhao Chen was somebody who was willing to take things slow if he needed him to or be more open about things than he might usually be because it was important to him but if he had any doubt that his whole heart was in this relationship, that would be the end of it. He was very much aware of it. If that happened … what should he do?
Li Ming suddenly felt himself to be at a loss. His last few relationships hadn’t worked out because of that matter with Mo Fang. Now, he finally felt ready to date again with some caveats. But just a few weeks in, he suddenly heard news of Mo Fang, and his relationship might implode because of that. Needless to say, it wasn’t a good feeling but he also didn’t know what to do to change the outcome of his next encounter with Zhao Chen.